The Scarecrow's Redemption
by Kitkat973
Summary: When Kakashi comes home bleeding one too many times, Tsunade forces him to go on leave before his recklessness kills him. The only relief to his boredom is a certain Chuunin schoolteacher...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here.

* * *

Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his silver hair, wincing as the blood-slicked palm of his glove caught on the wiry strands. He closed his uncovered eye and leaned back against the wall, trying his best to ignore his Hokage.

"-coming in three days late covered in blood without so much as a notice-"

What had she expected? Hatake Kakashi was late. It was the normal order of the universe. If he'd arrived on time -- or Kami forbid, early -- she would've been just as furious. And it wasn't his fault that the supposedly simple mission had turned into a full-out six on one battle. Even he had problems when it came to fighting that many Jounin at once.

"Then you have the gall to just stand there-"

Did she expect him to sit? Kakashi snuck a glance at the chair in front of the blonde woman's desk and seriously considered collapsing in it. He hadn't slept in two days and the green leather looked inviting. He could sink down into the overstuffed cushions and finally fall asleep… maybe then his ribs would stop hurting so much. If he was lucky, maybe she'd even be done yelling by the time he woke up. Or maybe she'd decide to kill him for getting blood on the furniture. Kakashi sighed. It was probably safer to stay propped up against the wall.

"Hatake! At least have the courtesy to pretend to listen to me when I'm yelling at you!"

Kakashi pressed his palm against his ribs and applied just enough pressure to keep himself from fainting from blood loss.

"Hai, Hokage-sama." The blonde's eyes narrowed and Kakashi did his best to leer back at her in response. Barely contained fury flashed over her face, and Kakashi leaned away from her, but succeeded only in pressing his back more firmly against the wall. Her hands clenched tightly into fists, and Kakashi maintained the leer – complete with a look down at her overly-ample bosom – while thinking rapidly. If he was going to die anyway, it might as well be for a good reason, and he'd always wanted to see his Hokage's reaction to a certain piece of literature…

Concentrating, Kakashi brought page 167 of Icha Icha Paradise up in his mind and prepared to quote it to the woman. He estimated it'd take three seconds before she realized that the busty blonde mentioned had a startling resemblance to herself (the mark on her forehead was a dead giveaway, though to be honest, not much time was spent describing her forehead – instead the focus lingered on other, more important traits), and another three seconds before she realized that the white-haired hero who had his face buried in said bust was her former team-mate. Kakashi'd always wondered how she'd react to finding out that Jiraiya had immortalized that drunken night in his beloved porn. Satisfied that he could read the page off from memory, he took in a deep breath and looked at the Sannin-

Who no longer looked quite as angry. Instead, her face showed a touch of sadness, with sympathy shown in the drawn-down corners of her mouth and the gentleness in her eyes. Kakashi sighed and tried to disappear into the wall, and when that didn't work he pressed harder against the gash in his side, hoping that the blinding flash of white pain would knock him out. Unfortunately, it only managed to make his ribs hurt more. Damn Jounin training, making him unable to pass out from something as simple as pain. Maybe if he skipped the description and just started with the sex scene, she'd be too angry to pity him.

"Kakashi…"

The silver-haired shinobi closed his eyes in defeat and the Hokage sighed. He heard the slight rustle of fabric as she moved forward, and then felt her hand take his wrist. It was surprisingly gentle, but with a hint of underlying force, and as she guided it away from his side he knew that if he'd chosen to struggle she would've forced his hand away. He kept his eyes closed but muscles tense, warily ready to stop her if she tried to touch anything other than his wound. People had tried to reveal his face too many times for him to relax when someone was this close – though honestly, he wouldn't have relaxed even if he didn't have the mask to worry about. Kakashi was generally touched for two reasons. The first, and by far most frequent, was when someone was trying to kill him. The second, and more sporadic, was when a medic was trying to repair the damage someone else had done while trying to kill him. It didn't inspire trust.

He felt the familiar tingle of chakra against the wound in his side and bit back a sigh of relief as the worst of the pain receded. The gash itself wasn't that bad, but it was exacerbated by the poison, and he was fairly sure that a few of his ribs had been chipped if not broken. He chided himself silently for it. Sharingan Kakashi taking a hit from a measly missing-nin – he couldn't even comfort himself with the knowledge that his opponent was skilled. The blow had been pure luck. The tingle increased to a slow burn, and Kakashi felt the pull at his flesh as the sides of the wound knitted together. A few more minutes and he was almost able to breathe without it feeling like knives were being stabbed into his lungs.

"Stop blaming yourself, Hatake," the woman murmured. Kakashi opened his eye and regarded her carefully with his dark gray gaze, then shrugged casually and gave her the fake crinkly-eyed smile that always made people stop trying to sympathize with him.

"Maa, it was just a wound," he told her, slouching against the wall and making sure to lazily drawl the words. Her golden eyes flashed with anger, but it quickly receded. Her voice was quiet when she spoke again.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

He snorted and looked away.

"It's not your fault," she told him.

Kakashi stayed silent, staring out the window that looked over the village he'd failed.

"It's not."

When he didn't respond she stayed silent for a long moment, and Kakashi wondered idly if he could take a nap against the wall while she decided how to coddle him. The blonde woman sighed and stepped away from him.

"I've taken care of the worst of the damage, but some of the poison is still in your system. You'll need to stop by the hospital before you go home."

Home. Kakashi smiled wryly at that, though the mask kept his Hokage from being able to see the way his mouth twisted. Home was supposed to be a warm place, a safe place, a place that comforted you and protected you. Even someone as cold as him knew that. Somehow he didn't think that the term was meant to apply to something like his small, dust-filled apartment. He glanced away from the window to find the older woman staring at him, and he asked the question that he'd come there for in the first place.

"What's my next mission?"

One of her eyebrows arched and she looked at him as though he were insane.

"You're so exhausted you can barely stand, covered in blood, and poisoned, and you're asking me about your next mission."

Kakashi nodded carefully, figuring that it would hurt less than trying to talk. She'd taken the worst of the pain away, but his side still ached enough for him to avoid moving if at all possible. He was right – it was less painful – but only slightly.

"You must be crazy."

He sighed, and winced as that caused a twinge to go through his ribs. He knew that everyone couldn't be a genius, but did she really have to state the obvious like that? He was a Jounin. Jounin were crazy. It was part of the job description. He waited for her to say something else, and when she didn't, spoke up plaintively.

"Mission?" He gave her his best puppy-dog eye – the look that Pakkun generally reserved for a large steak. She snorted.

"Absolutely not. Not until you're able to stand without a wall to prop you up."

"Maa, obaa-san. I'll be a good boy."

Tsunade rolled her eyes at the lazy-looking Jounin.

"No means no, Hatake."

Kakashi felt the sudden surge of panic in his chest and tried to fight it back while looking at the blonde woman. From the twitch at the corners of her eyes she'd caught the slight tensing of his shoulders, and he inwardly cursed her for being so observant. The fake smile didn't work this time, either, and after a long moment he let it slip.

"Please. I need it."

Tsunade shook her head.

"As much as you might want it, Hatake, I'm not going to let you kill yourself," she told him.

Kakashi looked away.

"I'm not trying to kill myself. I just want another mission."

Tsunade looked at him closely, taking in the blood-streaked silver hair, lines of tension around his visible eye, and the slight tremor in his thin frame.

"I need you too much to let you destroy yourself on this."

Kakashi closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath, wincing as the expansion of his lungs made pain ricochet throughout his body. He could feel the room closing in around him, the tightness in his chest, and the ever-present tickling of the woman's eyes on him.

"When was the last time you took a break?" Her voice was gentle and soft, the question friendly. Kakashi was wary, but knew that refusing to answer would just make it worse. There was that time after Wave country, and more recently than that after the confrontation with Itachi – but somehow he didn't think that being hospitalized was what the Sannin meant by a break.

"Five years ago?" he guessed. She'd been out of town at the time, so he might get away with the lie, and five years sounded like an acceptable number – but judging by the way she was glaring at him, probably not.

"When?" Now her voice was hard and cold, and somehow it made him relax. He could deal with an angry Tsunade more easily than he could deal with a sympathetic one. He scratched his ear absentmindedly and flashed his trade-mark one eyed smile, brow arcing up in a happy curve.

"Maa, I don't really take breaks…"

The Hokage went dangerously still. Kakashi sighed, lowered his hand, and then looked at her hopefully.

"Mission?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Tsunade slammed her hands down on her desk and glared at him. The impact sent dust flying through the room and Kakashi was momentarily grateful for the mask that kept him from breathing it in – sneezing would be uncomfortable right now. He laughed self-consciously.

"How about tomorrow?"

She glared at him and he suppressed another sigh. He started to open his mouth again.

"No."

Damn it. She was serious.

"Three months," she said. Kakashi looked up at her, confused.

"Eh?"

"Three months until you can take another mission."

Kakashi felt the hand clench in his chest again, and he looked around the room, mentally cataloging every possible escape route – not that he didn't already know them, but because it made him feel safer to know that there were twenty seven different ways to disappear before she could stop him.

"You can't be serious." His voice was a soft whisper.

"Then make it four months." The blonde woman glared at him.

"Hokage!"

"One more word and I'll make it five."

Kakashi blinked at her disbelievingly. She couldn't do this to him. She couldn't. But from the extremely self-satisfied look on her face…

"I don't know why I never thought of this before."

He was tempted to say that it was because she wasn't Ibiki, or that it was because the Hokage wasn't supposed to torture her own people, but the thought of having another month added to his sentence was enough to keep him silent. He looked longingly at the door. Tsunade sighed.

"You need the break. I'm not going to guarantee you a certain amount of time, because we both know I can't do that. I need you too much. But if there's anyone else I can send, I'm going to keep you off the field until I decide that you're ready to handle it, and regardless of how much I need you you're not leaving this village for a month."

Kakashi nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on the door. Tsunade let out another small sigh and waved her hand.

"Fine. Go. And don't forget to stop by the hospital."

Kakashi bit back the sarcastic retort and instead contented himself with a sharp, short nod.

* * *

Kakashi took two pills from the pouch and swallowed them dry before pressing his hand against the door and letting out a thin stream of chakra, deactivating the traps he'd set before leaving. He was grateful that he still had enough chakra to manage this small task – he couldn't remember how many times he'd been forced to stay in the hospital because of the simple fact that he couldn't open his own wards. It was the danger of the Sharingan. His chakra reserves weren't enough to feed it and allow for Chidori, too – but he often had no choice, and chakra depletion was a better fate than death.

They hadn't wanted to let him leave this time, either, but he'd stayed only long enough to get the antidote for the poison and some pain killers before escaping through the window. He would've made things easier on all of them and have simply stolen the antidote, but there was the small problem of not being certain exactly which poison he'd been affected with. Choosing the wrong antidote could be as deadly as taking another type of poison, even if the original substance was non-lethal. Besides, after the first few times, Tsunade had made it clear that she didn't look kindly on his habit of pilfering medical supplies, and she'd also made it excruciatingly obvious that she didn't think refusing medical treatment was a good compromise between stealing and letting the medics baby him.

He leaned against the door for a moment before pushing it open, grateful that the alcove made it private enough for others to not notice his arrival. In a ninja village where people were arriving at all times of day and night, it was important to have some semblance of privacy, and Kakashi valued his more than most. As he'd expected the apartment was dark and dusty, with a thin layer of grime covering everything. He started stripping his clothing off before he closed the door, shedding bandages and flak jacket, sandals and sweats, until he was wearing only his boxers and the tight ANBU singlet with mask that he always wore beneath the standard-issue Jounin shirts. He kicked the door closed after pulling his pants off, and felt more than saw the familiar pulse of chakra as his wards reactivated.

He stumbled to the bathroom and leaned over the sink for a long moment before turning the faucet on. It sputtered for a moment before kicking on with a sharp blast of water, and he leaned back and flicked on the light. The water was brown and muddy from disuse, and he waited until it ran clear before hunkering down to grab a washcloth from the cabinet. It, too, was dusty, and he held it underneath the cold water until he could be relatively certain that it was cleaner than his skin, if not truly clean. He cleaned his hands first, automatically checking the bruised and swollen knuckles for breaks, cleaning away the cuts left from summons and the small nicks from shuriken. His wrists came next, then his arms, sliding over the bruises. He had to stop many times to wash the cloth out, letting the water run over it until it was no longer red with blood.

It felt like it took hours to get clean and Kakashi carefully checked his torso, probing at the long red welt left by Tsunade's healing. It was better than it could have been, but it ached, as did the rest of his body, and he thought longingly of the pain killers sitting in the living room along with the rest of his gear. At least they'd given him that at the hospital, after injecting him with the antidote and ranting about stupid Jounin who couldn't take care of themselves. Eventually almost all of the blood was gone and Kakashi turned the light off before stripping off his mask and running the cloth over his face. He could smell the sharp metallic tang mixed with the cold scent of water and the muskiness of his own body, so much clearer without the thin layer of fabric holding the world away from his nose. Carefully and solely by feel, he cleaned his face, then dropped the cloth in the sink and turned the knobs off without looking up at the mirror.

He stumbled into the bedroom and collapsed on top of the shuriken-patterned comforter, too tired to pull it back and sink into the sheets. The dust stuck against his damp skin and he barely had time to register the wonderful feeling of soft mattress beneath him instead of hard ground before his eyes closed and he fell asleep.

* * *

A/N: If you've read to here, please take the time to review, even if it's just to say "I read it". Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was the pain. It pulsed in the long gash on his side, itched at the wounds on his hands, and vengefully stabbed at his head. He groaned and tried holding perfectly still with both eyes shut, but somehow it didn't seem to help. Giving up on getting back to sleep, he rolled over to face the ceiling and took a deep breath, then released it in a shudder when his ribs complained at the movement.

The second thing he noticed was the dust and the almost-mud it'd made on his skin, now dry and itchy. He pulled away from the bed and opened his eyes only long enough to verify that yes, it was indeed his apartment, before stumbling out into the living room. Blearily he looked over the mess on the floor before the sharp pain in his eyes made him growl and reflexively clap a hand over the Sharingan. He grunted as the chakra drain abruptly receded, and the room stopped swimming enough for him to look around.

Enough light was coming through the blinds for him to make out his clothing on the floor, and he groaned as he leaned down to snag the hitai-ate and tie it over his eye He picked up the pouch of painkillers almost as an afterthought and took two dry, then leaned back against the wall and let it support his weight as he slumped down. Having the Sharingan covered was helping, but nothing would change the fact that he had nearly no chakra and, judging by the gash in his side, had managed to injure himself fairly badly.

He closed both eyes and rested against the wall, trying to ignore the pulses of pain. To distract himself he sorted through memories of the night before. He remembered the pain killers. He remembered the hospital, and remembered sneaking out the window. He remembered cleaning up as best he could, washing the blood off – though a look down at his stomach that showed brown streaks of dried blood and caked dust made him think that he could've done a better job. He remembered leaving Tsunade's office, and-

Shit. Tsunade. He groaned and let his head fall forward against his knees and tried to think of an argument to convince himself that it'd just been a nightmare, but the scarily happy look she'd worn was too real for him to have imagined it. She looked like she'd just found out Konoha was going to give up the whole ninja business and establish a casino, and she was going to be the head. It was a creepy smile, the kind of smile that made him want to run away and hide, and it was a smile that he was entirely certain boded no good. Shit. A month. An entire month.

His stomach growled, and Kakashi dragged himself to his feet and slowly made his way to the kitchen. Judging by the pain in his head and how much the wound in the side had healed, he'd been out for at least two days – long enough for the need for food and water to be overwhelming. He started the sink running while he looked through the cabinet for a clean glass, and stuck it underneath the still slightly brown stream, too impatient to wait for the water to become clear. He drank the glass in two long gulps, and repeated the process three more times before he'd had enough.

There was no food in the apartment, but he'd come to expect that. His gear was still in the living room, and he rummaged through it until he found half a ration bar and a few solider pills. He ate the bar slowly, chewing every bite thoroughly – if he ate too quickly, he'd end up throwing it up. The solider pills came after, and he lazily scratched at his stomach, knocking loose dust and dried blood. One look at the uniform on the floor proved that it was useless – he'd either have to burn it or turn it into rags – so he went back into the bedroom.

The bed, dust-covered as it was, looked comfortable, and for a moment he entertained the idea of crawling back into it. Experience testified that it'd be as comfortable as it looked, and his body seemed to think that sleeping for another two days was a good idea, but he knew that he needed food. Regretfully he bypassed the bed and went for the closet instead, pulling out another uniform. He slung the clothing over one arm and headed for the bathroom, carefully avoiding the mirror.

The shower was hot and delicious and wonderful, and it reminded him of why it was sometimes good to not be out on a mission. The heat of the water soothed his sore muscles, and he leaned against the tile, letting the water sluice over his shoulders. He summoned enough energy to wash his hair and roughly abrade his skin until the dirt and blood he couldn't clean away before came free, and then stayed in the shower until the water turned cold.

The first flashback came as he was getting dressed.

_His eyes were black, and he leaned over Kakashi with a smirk._

_"I thought you'd be harder to capture than this."_

_Kakashi glared up at him but refused to answer. The man's face was hidden by the shadows, but his grin was clear, and it was the perverted grin of the truly mad. The blade touched his skin, and he fought to keep from arching up to get away from it. If he moved, it would only cut deeper – but if he didn't, his torturer would move on to other things, more painful things. They'd battle like this for hours, until all that existed was the blinding pain and Kakashi's training. _

_The man leaned in closer to lick at the wound on Kakashi's abdomen, and Kakashi stared at him silently. His face was visible now, though only half of it could be seen, the other half turned away and covered in shadows. It was enough to recognize him, and Kakashi let his lips curl up in a smile. He knew that the man would see it if he looked up – the first thing they'd done was take his mask – but even if he did see it, it'd serve his purposes well._

_People never realized that torture revealed as much about the person doing it as it did about the person being tortured. Kakashi had revealed his face and that he wouldn't talk, but his torturer had now revealed his face as well, and his questions had shown Kakashi what he wanted to know. It was enough. Kakashi easily slipped his hands free from the chakra cuffs and gripped the man's throat. He forced his head up enough so that the man could see his smile, then pressed with his thumbs and applied enough force to snap his torturer's neck._

_He had what he needed. He retrieved his gear with little hassle, and silently killed those who'd seen him. This group was unimportant – merely tools, like himself – but they bore the marks of their master in the information they'd demanded and the faces they had worn. He knew who the traitor was, now, and that was enough. The fools hadn't even reported capturing him. They'd been too excited at their cleverness in restraining the Copy Nin, and had wanted to impress their leader with more than just news of a body. The display of ego made it easier for him. There were fewer people to kill to cover his tracks._

_On the way back the missing nin attacked. This memory was a blur of sweat-covered bodies and jutsus, knives sliding against flesh and the choked cries of death. He remembered the jutsus more than the faces, the dancing fire and the slashing earth, the wind that pulled at him but was slow, too slow to catch him, and then there was pain, rough and tangible, cutting and crushing. He twisted away and sent kunai flying for the person who had hit him before pressing a hand to the wound, and watched as she died. He stayed only long enough to destroy the bodies before heading back up into the branches. He was supposed to report three days ago. If he didn't arrive soon, they'd proclaim him dead._

Kakashi was shaking when the flashback ended, and he allowed himself a moment to tremble before pulling the ANBU top over his head and fixing the mask over his face. It always happened after a bad mission. The memories would slam into him and take away his breath, and then they'd slowly pull back, leaving barbs and slashes in his psyche. It was common among shinobi, and he knew that it was his mind's way of dealing with the stress, but he didn't like it. It was part of the reason that he stayed on the field. The flashbacks never came when he was out on a mission.

None of the memories did, even the ones that weren't created on the field. When he was gone, it was as if nothing existed but the mission. He didn't have to remember the way he'd failed every person who had ever mattered to him. He didn't have to remember disappointed eyes, or even worse, the lying eyes that said it wasn't his fault. He knew how to handle people trying to kill him. He didn't know how to handle those trying to sympathize with him.

He ran the towel roughly over his hair and looked into the mirror, careful to keep the Sharingan eye closed. The visible part of his face was clean, and as his hair started to dry it stood up in the familiar silver spikes. By the time it was dry and he'd finished dressing, he felt almost human. He stopped in the living room to get his supplies from the ruined flak jacket and transfer them over to the new one, then gathered the clothes and took them into the kitchen, where the fire wouldn't be as much of a danger. He burned them with a quick jutsu and spent an hour on the floor paying for the use of the chakra before he could head out the door.

***

There was no one at the memorial stone, and Kakashi stood there silently until the sun began to set and the change in light told him it was time to leave. He traced his fingers over the names before turning away, but the feeling of the kanji carved into the stone remained on his fingertips long after the monument was out of sight.

***

He was halfway to his apartment before his stomach growled, reminding him of why he'd left in the first place. The ramen stand had the one redeeming quality of being the closest place with food, so he pulled the curtain back and sat down at the bar silently. There were no other customers, and it took a few minutes for the owner to notice him sitting there. When he did he smiled brightly.

"What can I get for you?"

Kakashi thought for a moment before answering, distracted by the smell of food. It suddenly felt like years instead of weeks since he'd eaten a hot meal, and his stomach growled again, more insistently this time. Kakashi sniffed at the air and hesitated, then donned the curvy-eyed smile when he realized he was being stared at.

"Miso ramen."

The old man smiled back and nodded, then turned around to prepare the noodles. Kakashi took the opportunity to look around the small booth, automatically noting the most defendable positions in the event of attack. It didn't take long – he'd been there before – but it made some of the tension leave his shoulders. The lack of customers also helped. Not only would it be his first real meal in weeks, if he was lucky it'd be a meal that he could eat relatively uninterrupted. If the owner kept his back to him, he might even get a chance to chew.

A bowl of steaming miso ramen was set down in front of him and Kakashi glanced up to see the owner politely turning away. He sniffed at the ramen, both to enjoy the smell and from the long-ingrained habit of checking all food for obvious poisons before consuming it. It wasn't that he had any particular distrust of the food – it was just that, like most Jounin, he was cautious to the point of paranoia. The habit had saved his life more than once, so while he tried to be discreet of it while in the village out of politeness, he still refused to eat anything without first being relatively certain it was safe. If the man behind the counter took any offense he didn't show it, and Kakashi broke open his chopsticks in preparation to enjoy a leisurely meal.

"Kakashi-san!"

Kakashi closed his eyes and bit back a sigh at the interruption, then turned around with a smile, two fingers extended in a lazy salute.

"Yo."

"I didn't realize you were back in town." The speaker was a tanned man with a scar across his nose wearing a standard-issue flak jacket. Kakashi only vaguely recognized him, but his mind immediately provided the rank – Chuunin. He shrugged and maintained the smile.

"Got in a few nights ago."

The Chuunin took that for encouragement and sat down a stool away from Kakashi. He sighed internally. There went his chances of a peaceful meal. He waited until the man turned to order and took the opportunity to quickly down half the bowl of ramen.

"I haven't seen you here alone before. Do you come often?" the Chuunin asked.

Kakashi looked up at the smiling man and shrugged.

"Maa, not really," he said.

The man's smile fell slightly, and he looked sad for a moment.

"I see… I miss him too."

Kakashi raised a brow at the odd response, but before he could question it the man's food arrived and he concentrated on eating. Kakashi took advantage of the silence to gulp down a few more bites of the ramen, and when the man didn't look up, he cautiously slowed down enough to chew his food. It wasn't the best thing he'd ever tasted, but it was infinitely better than ration bars and had the benefit of having been prepared by someone else. Food that required no work always tasted better, and he held up one finger to the owner in a clear request for another bowl.

"Have you heard anything from him?" The question was sudden and the man's tone was wistful. Kakashi hid his surprise. When he didn't respond, the Chuunin nervously pushed the noodles around in his bowl, and then looked up with another smile that didn't quite cover the worry in his eyes.

"I thought maybe he'd write to you… I mean, he's pretty much forgotten me by now, but I was sure that he would've gotten into contact with you at least once, even if it was just to brag about some new jutsu or complain about how Jiraiya-sama is an even bigger pervert than you are," said the man.

Kakashi stared at the man for a moment, confused. What did any of this have to do with Jiraiya? He opened his mouth to reply, and then paused, eyes focusing on the scar crossing the Chuunin's nose. Perfectly straight and bold, it bisected his face, underlining worry-filled, chocolate brown eyes. Add in the ponytail, and…

"Ah. You're Naruto's Iruka-sensei," Kakashi said. That explained it.

The man – no, Iruka – blinked and gaped at him, then nodded.

"Ah… yes." He seemed surprised and a little hurt at not having been recognized, but he quickly covered it up with a smile.

"And you're talking to me because you want to find out how he's been," Kakashi continued.

The teacher blushed and looked down at the table. The silence was interrupted by the owner placing the second bowl down in front of Kakashi, and he nodded his thanks.

"That too…" the Chuunin murmured. The words were so quiet that Kakashi almost didn't catch them, and he was certain they weren't meant to be heard, so of course he responded to them.

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at Iruka, but it went unseen, because the other man was still staring at the bar. With a philosophical shrug Kakashi started eating his second bowl of ramen. If the teacher didn't want to talk, all the better. When he felt Iruka's eyes on him everything made sense, and he set the chopsticks down and glanced over at the other man.

"Maa, Sensei, I don't know what you've heard, but I'm not that easy," Kakashi drawled, putting special emphasis on the title.

The teacher stared at him, terrified, face flushing red. Kakashi just smiled and held up his empty bowl.

"See? All done," he said.

Iruka looked confused for a moment, then slowly relaxed.

"I wasn't trying to see under your mask."

Kakashi tilted his head to the side slightly, curious.

"What then?"

The teacher looked down again and muttered under his breath, but they both knew Kakashi could hear the words.

"You looked like you wanted company."

Kakashi blinked.

"You must've been mistaken, Sensei. I already have plenty of company, see?" When Iruka looked up Kakashi proudly held out his book, smiling. The teacher blinked.

"You call that company?" he asked.

Kakashi nodded happily. "In this one the hero runs across a set of triplets. Bisexual, kuniochi triplets. All veeery flexible. You should read it!"

Iruka looked like he couldn't decide between blushing and screaming, so Kakashi helpfully opened the book and started pointing out the illustrations, hoping to provoke one reaction or the other. The Chuunin settled on blushing and sunk down into his barstool as if he wished he could disappear. Kakashi glanced at the book – surely the pictures hadn't been that dirty? – but decided to leave before innocently-blushing turned into suddenly-homicidal. He didn't remember much about the Chuunin, but the foggy memories he did have seemed to hint at an amazing temper. He dropped enough money to pay for his meal down on the bar.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't heard from Naruto, Iruka-sensei." He smiled his curvy-eyed, stay-the-hell-away-from-me smile, then left the ramen stand. He tried to ignore the feeling of the teacher's eyes on his back as he walked away, but the sensation lingered far after he was out of sight, and he couldn't quite figure out why.

* * *

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! All feedback is appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

_His eyes were black, and he leaned over Kakashi with a smirk._

"_I thought you'd be harder to capture than this."_

_Kakashi glared up at him but refused to answer. The man's face was hidden by the shadow, and he leaned down to lick the blood off Kakashi's stomach, but this time when Kakashi caught a glimpse of his face it was familiar, too familiar, and too young._

_The knife ghosted over his skin, coming to rest at his throat, and Kakashi stared up at the face of the boy he'd only acknowledged at the last moment as his best friend. But his best friend hadn't looked like that – his smile hadn't been like that, cold and twisted and stained with Kakashi's blood. When the knife was pulled back Kakashi surged up against his bonds, but this time the chakra cuffs held, and there was only that smile, then everything shifted and Obito wasn't smiling. He was young and stubborn and alive._

_"We have to save Rin!"_

_Kakashi nodded helplessly, and the cuffs were gone, and he was running through woods that looked too familiar, and he only had one eye and it was right, because his other eye was currently in the face of the boy who should've never died._

_He recognized the clearing, the ninjas, and Rin, small and scared and beautiful, as he hadn't seen her in years, and when it happened it happened exactly the way it'd happened before. No matter how much he screamed and fought the boulders fell, and Obito pushed him out of the way, and then Obito was crushed and even though he said no and pleaded and begged for it not to happen, Rin set Obito's eye in his face and the eye cried as Obito told them to leave. And he left, because Rin was what was important now, but then the ninja came again._

_This time when his sensei came it was late, far too late, and Kakashi held Rin in his arms for the first time. She was bleeding and dying and he knew this scene had happened years later and her killer had worn a different face but he couldn't bring himself to care, because Rin was dying and his sensei was fighting and everything was wrong. When Rin was dead he looked up, and the forest was gone._

_Konoha was under attack, and the ninja who had killed Rin morphed into a gigantic red fox, and the fox was the one attacking and there was nothing he could do. He watched with Obito's eye and Rin's dead body in his arms as his sensei fought, and he knew exactly what was coming next, and he couldn't stop it._

_He watched as the realization set on his teacher's face, watched as he performed the forbidden jutsu, watched as he locked the fox away in a crying baby and watched as his body slumped over on the ground and then he was dead too. His blue eyes went dim in the way they never should have, because Kakashi should've been the one to die instead, and he wanted to cry and scream so he did, and everyone who mattered was dead._

_Then his torturer was back again, and he still had Obito's face, but now the face held only one eye, because Kakashi had taken the other. When his tears came they burned hot and hard, and when the knife came he left it happen, let himself break because it was Obito, and if anyone had the right to make Kakashi break, it was him, and the torture lasted for hours until there was nothing but the pain and Kakashi's sobs._

The sound of his own screaming pulled Kakashi from sleep, and his eyes flew open, desperately searching in the dark. When they found nothing he took a deep, shuddering breath. He ran through the meditation exercises that all shinobi learned and repeated them until he was able to stop shaking, then leaned over and flicked the light on. It helped. It always did. Looking at his hands and seeing that they weren't physically covered in blood made everything seem like a bad dream. He wished for a moment that his nightmares were those of a child, plucked from half-formed fears and fairy tales, rather than taken from memories. As much as he tried to tell himself that it wasn't real, he knew that wasn't true.

His thoughts drifted toward Obito and he pulled them back sharply. If it'd been "just" a nightmare, they wouldn't all be dead, and Kakashi knew that they were. The guilt he felt in the dreams was nothing compared to the reality of not being able to save his teammates. Kakashi sighed and buried his face in his hands, rubbing at the Sharingan eye. It always ached worse after the nightmares. Kakashi flopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to forget, but he knew it was a selfish desire.

He had no right to forget, or even to try to forget. The dream-Obito had been right to torture him. It was his fault that Obito had died, his fault that Rin had died, his fault that Minato had sacrificed himself and his fault that Sasuke was lost to Konoha. He'd argued with Sandaime, had told him a hundred times that he wasn't meant for teaching, to choose anyone other than him. He'd failed every team that the Hokage had given him in hopes that he'd give up and let him go back to ANBU, where he belonged. Then he'd seen Sasuke, and he was nothing like Obito, he was like Kakashi, so much like Kakashi at that age that it hurt to look at him, and he couldn't say no.

He should've said no. If he'd been a little wiser, or a little less selfish, he would have. But when they'd passed the test, he'd seen it as a sign, maybe a hope for redemption. He'd failed the prior generation, but maybe if he took care of Obito's cousin and Minato's son, they'd be able to forgive him, one day. And it felt nice, sometimes, to see his sensei's eyes in a blonde boy's face, to see the occasional flashes of Obito reflected in Sasuke. But he'd failed them, too.

As soon as Naruto left the village, he'd gone to Tsunade and asked to be reinstated as ANBU. She'd refused. He'd argued. She'd refused again. He responded by taking every A and S rank mission available, solo more often than not. She tried arguing, but he proved time and time over again that he could do what no team could do. He could go in silently, kill his target, and slip away before the blood hit the floor. He could find information no one else could find, fit into places no one else could even approach. And she allowed it – grudgingly, but she allowed it. Until now.

Kakashi sighed and climbed out of bed. He'd been back in the village for nearly a week now – time enough to heal, time enough to be back out on the field. As much as Tsunade might have said he was on leave, he knew better. She needed him too much for that. Konoha needed him too much for that. Weakened as it was, Konoha couldn't afford to keep him at home like a naughty child. It was important to maintain the appearance of strength in the face of tragedy, and the other ninja villages were still eyeing Konoha like they would a wounded deer, as if it only needed one last push to fall over into death. A great deal of their current appearance of strength was smoke and mirrors, and the Copy Nin was an important part of that illusion.

As Kakashi downed a ration bar, he thought of ways to persuade the Hokage to put him back on active duty. The most direct way was walking into her office and staring at her until she handed him a mission scroll, but somehow he doubted that would work. He could replace all of her sake with water, but that sounded more like something Naruto would do than anything. No, there was only one cure for it. She'd put him on leave because he was injured. The only thing he could do was prove that he was fit.

Kakashi glanced out the window as he pulled on his uniform. It was nearly dawn, and Kakashi hurried to wrap the bandages around his leg. If he was fast enough, he could still make it.

***

There was no one at the memorial stone, but then, at this time, there never was. Kakashi couldn't see the names in the last few moments of darkness, but he didn't need to – he knew them too well to need to rely on his eyes to read them. Unerringly, his fingertips traced over the kanji, finding each character where it hid on the stone. They lingered on Obito's name, and when the sun rose he saw it in pinks and oranges reflected off the memorial. Even though it didn't need to, his eye scanned over the names, and the hundreds of others. He allowed himself a moment for grief, then stepped back to stare blankly at the monument. He stood vigil like that for a long time.

***

The clone darted backward and swiftly formed the seals for an earth jutsu. Kakashi dodged before the boulder could hit and sent three kunai flying while in the air, but the clone flickered past them and landed in front of Kakashi. The clone pressed the kunai against the original's throat, only to hear a soft "bamph" and find a log in his arms while the real Kakashi riddled him with shuriken. The clone disappeared in a cloud of smoke and Kakashi slumped to the ground, panting.

Training with shadow clones was never satisfying enough. There was the benefit of the clone knowing all of his moves, so it was better than having a completely incompetent partner, but the clone was always just a little bit slower, just a little bit weaker, just a little bit less knowledgeable, and as a part of himself, too predictable. Kakashi sighed. Summoning the clone had been easy, but the spar had taken more out of him than he expected. It was lucky that he'd finished when he had – he didn't think he had the chakra to maintain the jutsu for much longer.

Kakashi pulled himself to his feet and started in on one of the training dummies, body moving automatically. Two rapid kicks to the torso, spin, punch, switch targets, spin again, repeat. It was as boring and mindless as fighting against the clone, but it was necessary, and it burned in all the right places. Kakashi lost track of time as he trained, and only realized it was dark when his legs were no longer strong enough to hold him up and he slid to the ground again. He didn't notice that the wound in his side had reopened, or that the drowsiness he was experiencing was as much a side-effect of blood loss as exhaustion. He quickly slipped into a dreamless sleep.

***

"Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi opened his eye blearily then quickly closed it against at the intrusion of light. He felt hands on his shoulders, shaking, and heard his name called again.

"Kakashi-san?"

He groaned and tried to pull away from the hands. Couldn't the person see that he was trying to sleep?

"Kakashi-san! You're bleeding!" the voice was full of worry, and Kakashi forced his eye open a crack. He could vaguely make out worry-filled brown eyes staring down at him, and his vision blurred, then settled. The eyes were underlined by a thick scar…

"Iruka-sensei." Kakashi sounded immensely pleased at the identification, and he knew it, but somehow he couldn't keep the satisfaction out of his voice. The worry in the chocolate-colored eyes intensified, and he felt surprisingly gentle hands probe at his side.

"We've got to get you to the hospital…" the teacher murmured, carefully pushing Kakashi's shirt up. He winced when he saw the long, blood covered gash in the Jounin's side. Kakashi glanced down at it and found that he agreed somewhat with the teacher – he wasn't in the best of shape. He hissed in pain when the Chuunin tugged the shirt back down, and the hiss turned into a full-out whimper when he was tugged to his feet. Iruka hunkered down and pulled Kakashi's arm around his shoulder, taking the brunt of the injured shinobi's weight.

"Sorry about this, Kakashi-san… I'll try not to jostle you too much," he said. Kakashi nodded vaguely, and the man he was leaning on started to bring his hands together in a familiar seal. Kakashi grabbed his wrist before he could complete it.

"Wait!"

Iruka blinked and looked at him, shifting a little bit to redistribute Kakashi's weight.

"What is it, Kakashi-san?" he asked.

"No hospitals." The Chuunin's eyes widened.

"But-"

"No hospitals." Kakashi's voice was firmer now, and he leaned away from the teacher as if to prove he could stand on his own, but the argument was nullified when Kakashi's legs promptly buckled and he found himself collapsed against Iruka's side.

"Stop arguing. You're going to the hospital." Iruka's voice was stern, and Kakashi idly wondered if that voice was a side-effect of working with children.

"Please…" there was a note of pleading in his voice, Kakashi noted with annoyance, and decided that he really didn't like this whole being ill thing. It made it more difficult to conceal things. The Chuunin sighed.

"I'm not leaving you here, and you need medical attention, so we're going to the hospital." The teacher's tone brooked no argument. He started to make the seals, again, and Kakashi caught his wrist, again.

"Tsunade."

Iruka blinked.

"Tsunade-sama?"

Kakashi nodded sharply.

"She'll know what to do," he said. Iruka looked down at him doubtfully, and Kakashi withstood the inspection. The teacher sighed, nodded, and formed the hand seals for a third time. This time, Kakashi let him complete them, and the familiar lurch of teleportation almost knocked him out again.

***

When they arrived outside the Hokage's office, the two ANBU standing guard immediately went for their weapons. They relaxed only slightly when they recognized the visitors as Konoha shinobi, but that could've been as much because of the blood as of any trust. Kakashi vaguely thought the masks looked familiar, but then everything became blurry again and he was lying on the floor.

"Quick! Get Tsunade-sama!" the Chuunin urged. The ANBU looked at each other skeptically, then nodded. The one on the left slipped into the office, and moments later reappeared and held it open. Iruka sighed and nudged Kakashi until he could pull the Jounin to his feet, then half-carried him into the room. As soon as the door closed behind them Tsunade had Kakashi's shirt up and was cursing, and Iruka did his best to hold the Jounin up for her inspection.

"Damn it, brat! Why do you always do this to yourself?" she snapped.

"Maa, obaa-san, if you wanted to grope me so much, all you needed to do was ask," he slurred. Tsunade looked at him disbelievingly, then turned her attention back to the wound.

"Stupid dumb-ass Jounin. Only you could get yourself half-killed while on leave!" she yelled. Kakashi smirked and Iruka looked vaguely uncomfortable. The Hokage glared at the teacher.

"And you! What do you have to do with – with – THIS?" She gestured at the bleeding Copy Nin, and Iruka blushed and looked down.

"I found him at the training ground… judging by the amount of blood, I think he'd been there since sometime in the afternoon," Iruka said. Tsunade's eyes softened, and she nodded.

"You did well," she told him. The blush intensified, and he shifted under the burden of the Jounin's weight. Tsunade noticed, but turned her attention back to Kakashi.

"You were supposed to go to the hospital."

Kakashi tried to shrug, but the casual movement was less effective when he was relying on someone else to stay standing.

"I did," he stated. Tsunade growled.

"You were supposed to STAY at the hospital," she said. Kakashi smiled charmingly, or at least as charmingly as he could with only one eye showing and a woman with homicidal urges dangerously close to his wounds.

"You should've specified that at the time," he said. She snorted, and it was nearly a laugh, then stepped back and tugged his shirt down.

"Somehow you managed to get the wound infected, but I've cleaned out the worst of it. You should be fine in a few days if you don't do anything stupid again."

Kakashi nodded and straightened up. Iruka made sure he was steady before letting the Copy Nin stand on his own, and looked at him fretfully, ready to catch him if the Jounin should fall again. Tsunade glanced at the teacher.

"Thank you for your help, Iruka-san. I need to talk with the brat now," she said. Iruka nodded at the dismissal, cast Kakashi one last, worried glance, and left. Kakashi crossed his arms over his chest, and casually leaned back against the wall as if he didn't really need it to hold him up. He watched the Sannin for a moment, then remembered his earlier plan.

"Mission?" he put as much hope as possible into the word and smiled at his Hokage. She glared in response, and his shoulders slumped. Really, he'd known that proving he was fit would've worked better, but since that option was no longer available…

"I told you last time. I'm not going to let you kill yourself," she said. Kakashi shrugged.

"I'm not trying to. I just want a mission," he said quietly.

Tsunade looked at him intensely, then sighed and sat down behind her desk.

"Kakashi, I'm going to ask you something, and I need you to answer me truthfully."

Kakashi tensed at the words, but tried not to let it show. He didn't say anything, but felt the Hokage's eyes on him, and he nodded once, curtly.

"Is this about the flashbacks?"

Kakashi didn't answer. This was why he didn't like having a medi-nin as the Hokage. She was often the one to treat him, and that meant that she knew too much about him – such as the flashbacks, and his reactions to them. The first one she'd witnessed had been soon after he came out of his Itachi-induced coma, and the second after Sasuke left. She'd even seen the aftermath of the nightmares, once. It was something he wished that she didn't know, but also something he could do nothing about. She'd broached the subject a few times, but he always refused to talk about it, and she usually gave up after an hour or so of silence.

"Kakashi. I'm not asking out of curiosity. I'm asking because I need to know. As your medic and as your Hokage, I need to know if they're what's driving you to this." Her voice was gentle, with a touch of worry in it, and somehow it reminded him of the tanned teacher's hands. He looked away.

"No." It wasn't really a lie – the flashbacks weren't the only thing keeping him constantly on the field. The Hokage seemed surprised by his reply. It was the most he'd ever said in response to her questioning on the subject. He closed his eyes and leaned back further against the wall, waiting for his vision to stop swimming.

"So you're not having any more flashbacks," she said. Kakashi grunted in reply. He could feel her eyes on him.

"Do you want to tell me why you're lying?" Tsunade asked. Kakashi glanced at her, but didn't answer. She sighed.

"Go to the hospital."

"No," Kakashi stated simply.

"That wasn't a request."

Kakashi sighed.

"I'll just break out again," he told her. She glared at him, but they both knew it was true.

"Fine. I told you a month. You still have three weeks to recover, and you'd better not spend them doing whatever put you in this condition. Get out of my office."

Kakashi didn't bother to disguise his exhaustion as he stumbled out of the room. When the door closed behind him, he heard the rattle of a sake bottle being pulled out from underneath a desk and then the soft thump of Tsunade's head falling against her arms.

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A/N: Please review, even if it's just to let me know you're still following this story! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic raised to M for language.

* * *

Somehow, Kakashi wasn't surprised when he spotted the Chuunin schoolteacher waiting outside the office. The chocolate-colored eyes were yet again full of worry, and Kakashi idly wondered if the man ever did anything other than fret over other people. Kakashi felt momentarily grateful for the presence of the ANBU that formed a shinobi shield between him and Iruka. He hunched his shoulders and slipped into the shadows between the black ops members and the doorway, ignoring the slight movement of shoulders that for an ANBU was a full-throated chuckle. He could see how the infamous Copy Nin hiding from an Academy teacher might be amusing, but the humiliation of hiding was much less than the humiliation of being coddled like a five-year-old.

Kakashi watched the teacher from the corner of his eye and sighed when the tan man's eyes slipped past him. White teeth worried at a full bottom lip and the teacher shifted his weight from one foot to the other, then rubbed self-consciously at the blood on the side of his uniform – the side where Kakashi had collapsed. The silver-haired shinobi bit back a sigh as he realized that the Chuunin had no intention of leaving without checking to make sure that he was alright.

His chakra was low, lower than it should have been for what he had in mind, but he really couldn't see any other option. It wasn't the easiest position to defend, and his injuries made stealth difficult. Nestled in the corner with the ANBU in front of him he could avoid being seen, but slipping behind the teacher and out the door would be hard, even though Iruka was only a Chuunin. Kakashi sighed softly and saw another quiver of shoulders, which he responded to with a sharp glare. It was obviously felt, because the shoulders tensed abruptly and one gloved hand formed an apologetic sign. Kakashi snorted and brought his fingers together in the familiar seal, gathered his chakra, and thought about his apartment.

The wrench of teleportation was familiar, as was the stabbing pain of overusing his chakra, but when the two combined with the pulsating pain in his side, it was enough to bring Kakashi to his knees. He gasped for breath and pressed his hand tight against the gash he'd reopened with what he privately admitted was recklessness. The skin was barely drawn together over the deep slash, and every time he drew in a deep breath his side tugged, feeling like it was going to break open. It was a constant reminder that he was unfit to be on the field, and he knew that Tsunade had arranged that deliberately.

The first time she'd healed him she'd done a thorough job, but apparently the Hokage drew a line between healing damage done on a mission and damage done through stupidity. She'd cleared out the infection and knitted the flesh back together, but she'd done the bare minimum necessary to be certain that he healed correctly. If he didn't bandage the wound and avoid straining it, it'd get infected again, and somehow he doubted that Tsunade would heal him a third time. The pain was a deliberate reminder from his Hokage, and he bore it with gritted teeth.

Kakashi reached out for the doorknob and managed to set his hand around it before a sharp jolt of electricity reminded him of why that wasn't the best idea. He pulled his hand back quickly and shook it, then inspected it for damage. The fingerless glove had taken the worst of the impact, but his fingers were slightly charred, and there was the faint scent of ozone in the air. The damage wasn't any worse than what he took every time he used Chidori, but it was enough to remind him that his front door was heavily warded, and a little voice in the back of his mind helpfully provided the fact that removing the wards took chakra, of which he had approximately none.

Kakashi sighed and glared at the door as if it'd betrayed him. Sometimes he wondered if the elaborate wards were worth the trouble they caused. He didn't spend much time at home in the first place, and it seemed that when he needed the sanctuary the most, he was locked out by his own weakness. He thought over the physical traps surrounding the door and then carefully twisted until his back was against the wood. He breathed a sigh, caused partially by the relief of the burning pressure on his ribs and partially by the reassurance that he hadn't forgotten another trap. He tilted his head back and stared up at the awning.

The wards often seemed more trouble than they were worth, but he knew that they were necessary. He wasn't what they were designed to protect, though that was often a fortunate side-effect. Even he had things that couldn't be taken on every mission, and while the more sentimental reminders of his team likely weren't in any danger, the chakra blade he used only as Hound was a prime target for thievery. He'd considered letting someone steal it more than once, trying to tell himself that he was lucky that some memories could be taken away, but the sense of duty instilled in him as a shinobi wouldn't let him give up a useful weapon.

He wondered idly if that sense of duty was what made Tsunade try so hard to keep him sane. He was a useful weapon, both for her and the village, and he couldn't be allowed to break. He had to be kept finely oiled and sharpened, ready to be used at a moment's notice. Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes, silently admitting to himself that he'd probably taken a few chips along the way. A kunai couldn't be used for peeling apples, though. He was meant to be out on the field, and sitting here outside his apartment in the cold wasn't helping any.

It was with thoughts like these that he drifted asleep.

***

"Kakashi-san?"

The voice was worried, and gentle hands touched his shoulders, then brushed over his face.

"Kakashi-san? Are you alright?"

Kakashi groaned and feebly tried to bat the hands away. A part of him felt like this scene was familiar, something he'd experienced before and should remember. He opened his eye and looked up, then closed it immediately when he saw who was standing over him.

"What are you doing here?" He didn't bother keeping the scorn out of his voice, and he heard the person shuffle, then the warmth against his cheek was gone.

"I, ah, wanted to check on you…"

"You've checked. I'm fine. You can go away now." Kakashi kept his eyes closed.

"If you're fine, why are you sleeping against your door instead of in your bed?" The voice was perfectly calm and reasonable, carefully measured, with the patience of one who is accustomed to dealing with stubborn children. Kakashi opened his eye and stared up at the teacher.

"Because I wanted to."

"Ah." The Chuunin nodded as if that statement made perfect sense, then smiled, and it was a heartbreakingly soft, caring smile.

"Would you like some food?" Again with the calm voice, but the offer sounded good. Iruka gestured with one hand, and Kakashi noticed the bag hanging from it with containers of food inside. He stared at it suspiciously, then dragged himself to his feet and focused on the doorknob that had shocked him earlier. He glanced at the Chuunin, and the man looked away politely, but it didn't matter – knowing the trick was useless if you didn't have his chakra signature. He let out the small tendril of chakra and delicately undid the wards, then reached for the doorknob. He didn't hold back the sigh of relief when he wasn't shocked again.

The Chuunin followed him inside, and he glanced behind him to see the man toeing off his sandals. He smirked a little at that – it figured that the teacher would be immaculately polite. Kakashi stalked toward the kitchen, then whirled to face Iruka. The tanned man stopped suddenly and his eyes were wide. Kakashi held out his hands demandingly, and Iruka looked down at them, confused, then realized what Kakashi wanted. He rummaged through the bag, drew out a covered bowl and handed what was obviously home-made soup to Kakashi.

Kakashi pulled the lid off and sniffed deeply, making no secret of the fact that he was checking for poison. The soup smelled good, and thick, freshly-made noodles swam with chunks of chicken and carrots in a thin chicken broth. He glanced at the Chuunin and deliberately sniffed it again, making his expression as mistrusting as possible. The teacher simply stared back calmly, and Kakashi snorted. He nudged a drawer open with his hip and pulled out a spoon, inspecting it for dust before mentally declaring it clean enough and plopping it in the bowl.

The Chuunin was still watching him, obviously waiting for something, and Kakashi quirked an eyebrow up. Realization flashed in Iruka's eyes and he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, but turned around. Kakashi moved the spoon against the bowl a few times to make certain that the teacher wasn't planning to whirl around the moment he took a bite, then carefully tugged his mask down and tasted the soup. It was good, just salty enough, hearty but light enough that it wouldn't overstress his stomach. He took another bite, then another, still carefully watching.

The teacher's shoulders were tensed, and as he ate Kakashi ran reasons for it through his mind. He rejected first one, then another, then stumbled upon one that was ridiculous but that he somehow couldn't dismiss. He glared at Iruka, then sighed and spoke begrudgingly.

"It's good."

He was surprised when the worst of the tension fled. So he'd been right – the Chuunin was worried about whether or not he'd like the soup. He supposed he should've expected it from someone like him, but it seemed so ridiculous for a shinobi to be worried over something as simple as soup.

"Thank you. My mother used to make it for me when I was sick, before…" Iruka's voice trailed off and he didn't turn around. Kakashi raised an eyebrow in question because he knew the teacher couldn't see it. It was an unspoken rule in Konoha that you didn't ask about family. Shinobi rarely lived past thirty, and that meant orphans were more common than those with parents.

"So, did I look lonely again?" Kakashi deliberately made his voice sarcastic and teasing, both to diffusion the tension from the Chuunin's admission and to draw attention to the fact that the man had no valid reason to be standing in his kitchen worrying about whether or not he liked the teacher's home-made soup.

"No, you looked half dead, and from what Tsunade-sama said, you're too much of an idiot to take care of yourself." Kakashi blinked, then grinned. Apparently his memories of a temper weren't unfounded.

"So you're going to do it for me, then?" Kakashi asked. Iruka sighed.

"Just shut up and eat your soup."

Kakashi did, but only because it smelled good and tasted better, and eating was a good way to avoid talking. When he finished he pulled his mask up and headed over to the sink. He leaned against the counter as he washed the bowl out, then set it down with a clink and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why are you doing this?"

Iruka turned around slowly, so that Kakashi would have time to pull up his mask if he hadn't already. He wasn't sure if the movement was endearing or annoying.

"Somebody has to."

"Why you?"

Iruka sighed and looked away.

"I don't need a reason, alright?" He stepped forward and picked up the bowl, then hesitated. Kakashi grunted and stalked over to the door, ignoring the twinges in his side. He didn't notice the sandals on the floor, and in a completely ignoble move that he could only blame on being sick and pissed off, the famous Copy Nin, Sharingan no Kakashi, tripped and fell.

He landed not on hard wooden floor, but on flesh, and Iruka grunted as Kakashi's weight came down on his back.

"Are you alright?" the teacher wheezed, and Kakashi stared at the back of the man's head blankly. He'd just knocked the wind out of the Chuunin and was now pinning him to the floor, and the man was asking if he was alright? Kakashi shook his head and sighed, then braced his palms against the floor and pushed up. The Chuunin slid out from beneath him, and the movement made Kakashi suddenly realize something that his body had processed before, but not his mind – the teacher wore clothing a size too large to make himself look bulkier. It was such a silly, childish trick that Kakashi almost laughed.

"I'm fine," Kakashi told him, and when Iruka leaned in close to peer at him with worried brown eyes he felt like screaming. It was like kicking a puppy – the man never seemed to realize that he wanted him to go away.

"If you're falling down, you're not fine," Iruka pointed out gently. Kakashi scowled.

"I tripped. Over your sandal.

Iruka had the good grace to look embarrassed, and Kakashi took advantage of it.

"If you wanted to get me on top of you that badly, Sensei, all you had to do was ask." He deliberately drawled the title, and when the teacher flushed, he didn't bother holding back his vindictive smirk.

"I assure you, Kakashi-san, I am no more trying to get in your pants that I am under your mask. I'm certain your reading habits have made you view every person as a potential sexual partner, but in real life people aren't introduced solely so that you can have the pleasure of sleeping with them."

There it was again – the temper. It felt good to see the teacher angry, and he let the smirk grow. Slowly and deliberately he let his gaze rake over the Chuunin, taking in first the mussed hair, then the flushed face, then the parted lips. Then his eyes slid down over the man's torso, lingering where his shirt had ridden up to expose honey-colored abs, and insultingly lingered longer a few inches lower. When he met the teacher's eyes again they were full of barely-suppressed anger, and Iruka was trembling.

"Sorry, Sensei, but you're not really my type. It'd be more – what do they call it? Ah yes. A pity fuck."

Emotions flashed over Iruka's face in rapid succession. Embarrassment, humiliation, anger, sadness, and a touch of something else that looked suspiciously like disappointment. Kakashi felt a tug of guilt, but suppressed it, and was glad not for the first time that his mask kept people from seeing his face. If the Chuunin had been harboring some half-formed crush on him, it'd be gone now. Kakashi sighed internally as he watched the kind teacher's face shut down and the brown eyes become flat and hard. He'd tried to be nice about it. He didn't like hurting people. He never had.

That was why he had the porn, and the mask, and the laziness. That was why he showed up late and always lied about where he'd been. That was why he never spoke about himself and made sure to never let anyone get too close, because it made them easier to push away. He felt another pang of guilt, and something like sorrow alongside it. Somehow, hurting the Chuunin felt worse than he'd expected. He could appreciate that the teacher was a genuinely kind man who probably wanted nothing more than to make certain that a comrade wasn't in pain. Knowing that people like Iruka existed was comforting, even. They weren't part of his world, but knowing that they were part of some world was… soothing, somehow.

Kakashi pushed himself to his feet and reached out to open the door. Iruka looked at him blankly, then he tugged the door back and it gave too quickly, and he stumbled. Before he could blink the Chuunin was there again, holding him up, supporting him. Kakashi glared at him, suddenly tired of the game.

"I thought I made it clear that I didn't want you here, Iruka-sensei."

The Chuunin was silent, but he didn't let go.

Kakashi sighed and let the glare fall away. He looked at the man, genuinely curious beneath the exhaustion.

"Why are you doing this?" This time the question wasn't an accusation, and Iruka seemed to notice the difference, because he hesitated before answering.

"Because once, you helped someone precious to me when they needed it."

Kakashi arched an eyebrow at that, but the Chuunin didn't seem to feel the need to elaborate. Half-carrying, half-dragging Kakashi, he followed the trail of footprints in the dust on the floor. In the bathroom he found bandages, and he cleaned Kakashi's side of the blood before bandaging it lightly. Kakashi allowed it, too tired to protest any further, and uncertain of exactly what he could do to drive the teacher away. He'd think about it in the morning, when his head wasn't so fuzzy and when the pain receded.

When Iruka guided him to the bedroom and tenderly tucked him in underneath the blankets, he saw a glimpse of what being a child must have been like. He heard the shuffle of the teacher sliding his sandals on, and the click of the door locking behind him. His last thought was that maybe, in a different time and a different place, being cared for wouldn't have been a bad thing.

* * *

(A/N): The premise of this chapter was easier for me to write than the others, but the execution was harder. We're getting closer to the main plot now. All comments are appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

_Kakashi's body burned, heavy and aching, and he couldn't remember why until a blade sliced along his hip, biting deep enough to make him straighten and try to jerk away. The movement tightened the ropes around his wrists and pulled him up flush against the pole he was tied to. When the next blade came Kakashi hissed in pain and jerked back again, but couldn't get away, and then there was another, and another. Time had no meaning. All that existed was pain, and the blades, and the ropes around his wrists and the splinters digging into his back. And eyes._

_Red eyes. Familiar eyes. Loathing eyes. The face was shrouded in darkness, but those eyes could be seen, bloody eyes, knowing eyes, Sharingan eyes. Then the man stepped forward and Kakashi saw that somehow, two eyes had become one, and it wasn't Itachi but Obito, and the next blade wasn't thrown but was held, and it slid freely over Kakashi's skin, parting it like water so that the Sharingan red could flow over Kakashi's body. Kakashi whimpered and tried to pull away, but the blade slid up until it rested just beneath his chin, forcing his head back, forcing his gaze to meet that furious red eye._

_"You let Rin die." The voice was cold and accusing, and some part of Kakashi remembered that Obito's voice had never sounded like that, that his eye had never looked like that, but then that part slipped away and he was left only with the knowledge of his failure. He closed his eyes desperately, but it didn't stop him from seeing Obito's face, Obito's accusing glare._

_"I'm sorry… so sorry… so…" The words were choked out and Kakashi felt the tears stream down his cheeks, mixing with the blood. He'd failed, failed Obito, failed Rin, failed Minato, failed Sasuke, failed all of them. Obito studied him for a long moment, then slid the blade up higher, letting the tip rest beneath Kakashi's – Obito's – Kakashi's eye._

_"I'm taking my gift back. You don't deserve it."_

_Kakashi knew Obito was right, but still he struggled as the blade slid into his eye socket, and then he screamed, high and keening, and the Sharingan was pulled free. The pain threatened to overwhelm him, burning in hot searing waves, and he watched, weeping, as Obito carefully placed the eye back in his own empty socket, where it belonged. Then there were two Sharingan eyes staring at him coldly again, and a bloodstained smile, and the knife was cutting his flesh and the ropes were cutting his wrists, and all he could hear was pounding, pounding and someone calling his name._

"Kakashi-san!"

Kakashi jerked away from the voice, and another knife sliced into his side, leaving a long, painful gouge. He whimpered and the pounding grew more frantic. He felt chakra spike, suddenly heavy and hard, then felt a peculiar wrench as his wards were breached. He panicked, but they settled back down into place, and then there were hands everywhere, running over him, touching him, rolling him over, thumbing his eye open.

Kakashi stare up into the darkness until his eyelid was released, then the hands up slightly to his forehead. The fingertips hesitated there against his skin, and he noticed that they were delightfully cool against his skin before he felt the hitai-ate being pushed back from his brow. Then the fingers ghosted over the scar on his face, and gently pried his eye open. The flare of pain and chakra surprised Kakashi, but not as much as the fact that he still had the Sharingan, that Obito hadn't taken the gift back. It must've been another dream...

Kakashi pushed at the hands and they reluctantly left his face. He weakly tugged at the hitai-ate, and the hands were back for a moment, pulling it down. Kakashi opened his other eye. It took a moment to adjust to the darkness, but when he finally did he was looking at a face that was growing all too familiar. Kakashi tried to speak, couldn't, and licked his lips beneath his mask.

"Iruka-sensei…" The sound was gravely and harsh, and Kakashi couldn't recognize it as his own voice, even though he knew it was.

"Shh. Don't talk." The hands pushed at his shoulders, guiding him back down to the bed, and it was only then that Kakashi realized he'd tried to sit up.

"Sensei…"

The dark head shook in negation, and the teacher moved away. Kakashi barely caught his muttered words.

"Never should've left you alone… should've known that you'd…" The voice grew fainter as Iruka walked away, and Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes, settling down against the pillow. He tried to persuade himself that he was glad that the hands were gone, and he'd almost managed it, then they came back, cool and soothing against his face. Kakashi sighed a little and instinctively leaned into the hands, then they were pulling him up until he was half-sitting, half lying down. Iruka wrapped an arm around his shoulder and sat down on the bed beside him, supporting Kakashi's weight.

Iruka started to press the glass of water to Kakashi's lips, then paused and set it down on the nightstand. Kakashi only realized what was happening when the fingers were already on his mask, tugging it down. His hand shot up instinctively to grasp the tanned wrist, and he looked at Iruka desperately, holding his hand in place.

"Don't," Kakashi whispered. The body pressed against his shifted and Iruka sighed.

"I know you don't like it, Kakashi-san, but I have to." The teacher glanced at the glass of water, then at Kakashi. Kakashi tightened his grip on the Chuunin's wrist.

"Don't. I'm fine." He tried to make it gruff, but it came out thready and weak.

"Kakashi-san, you have a fever. You have to drink something." Iruka's voice was calm and reasonable, as soothing as his hands, and Kakashi sighed.

"Fine. But leave the mask on."

He waited until Iruka nodded, then released the teacher's wrist. Iruka hesitated, then leaned over, and Kakashi felt his muscles shift as the Chuunin picked up the glass. He pressed it against Kakashi's cloth-covered lips, and Kakashi reached up to help Iruka tilt it back so that the water spilled into his mouth. Most of it spilled on his face and trickled down his chin, where it was caught by his mask and held damply against his skin, but Kakashi didn't mind. It felt cold and good. When he let go of the glass Iruka pulled it away, and slowly, carefully lowered him back down against the bed.

"Why are you here?" he asked. Iruka laughed, but it was a soft laugh.

"We've already had this conversation once, Kakashi-san. Please just accept that I'm going to try and help you get better," the Chuunin said.

Kakashi sighed and closed his eye, too tired and feverish to argue. When the dreams came again, cool hands and a soothing voice chased them away, and left only when his fever broke.

***

Light was coming in through the window, and a stray sunbeam slanted directly over Kakashi's closed eye. He groaned and brought his arm up to cover his eye, blocking out the light. He took a deep breath and tried to slip back into sleep, but the slight buzzing of his conscious and the ache of his bladder quickly persuaded him that he should wake up, even if he didn't particularly want to. He stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later he'd showered and was eating food that he didn't remember buying, but that had somehow found its way into his kitchen.

After eating Kakashi stretched and was pleased to note that the wound in his side had faded to a scar, and the flesh was no longer twisted and red. Apparently Tsunade had been more generous than he'd suspected. It was only when Kakashi had already pulled on his uniform and was reaching for another ration bar that he realized something was wrong. He stared at the bar then carefully placed it back in his cabinet and stepped back. He didn't remember buying the food because he hadn't. It was hard to buy food when you were comatose for… Kakashi hesitated for a moment and probed at his side again. At least four days.

He leaned back against the kitchen wall and stared around the apartment blankly. There was food in his kitchen. Shit. Kakashi pushed his hitai-ate back and carefully cast his gaze over the wards, ignoring the sting of chakra being pulled out of his body. It was subtle, but it was there – the slightly tangled chakra strands that indicated someone having breached his wards. He took a moment to admire the smooth work – whoever it was knew what they were doing. If he hadn't had the Sharingan, he probably wouldn't have noticed the disturbance.

Carefully, Kakashi cast his memory back over the last few days. He remembered jutsuing home after Tsunade yelled at him. He vaguely remembered triggering one of the traps, and glanced at his hand for confirmation – the glove was still slightly charred. He remembered soup, and soup led him back to Iruka. But Iruka had left, hadn't he? He'd heard him leave…

Kakashi closed his eyes and relaxed slightly as the chakra drain ceased. He remembered hands, cool hands against his forehead, stroking his hair. Soothing hands and a worried voice, pushing the dreams back, holding them at bay. Kakashi tugged his mask down and sniffed at the air, sorting through the clouding dust and the heavy scent of his own body to pick up on a mixture of chalk, weapon oil, and ink, with the slightly musky scent of a man beneath it all. The scent was weak in the kitchen, but he followed it to the bedroom. It was strongest around the chair at his desk, and he glanced down at the floor. There were slight scuff-marks in the dust, as if the chair had been moved.

Someone had been in his apartment. Someone had broken through his wards, and had sat in that chair while he slept. Someone with gentle hands and water and… fuck. Someone had been in his apartment. He tried to still the trembling in his hands. Nothing had happened. He was still alive. The pictures were still there above his bed. The maps hadn't been disturbed. Nothing had been taken. Except…

The next place he checked was the closet, and his fingertips found the notch in the wood behind his spare uniforms and pressed while at the same time feeding a thin line of chakra into the seals hidden there. The compartment clicked open and Kakashi slid his hand inside, breathing a sigh of relief when he found his father's blade still present. He took it out for a moment just to be absolutely certain that it wasn't a fake, and after verifying that it was indeed the real article, he placed it back into the hiding place.

Nothing was missing. Kakashi sat down on the edge of his bed and tried to think, slowly going through the evidence. His side still hurt, but the flesh was fully knitted together now. He estimated that he'd been healing for at least four days, perhaps more. That didn't add up, though – the thirst wasn't as intense as it should've been, and while his body felt sore, it was the soreness of having burned a fever off, not the soreness that came from neglect.

As much as he tried, all he could remember were soothing hands and a worried voice…

It didn't make any sense. Kakashi sighed as he pulled on his gear and headed out the door. Nothing had been harmed, and he had more important things to do – like finding some way to get a mission. Tsunade had made it fairly clear that she wasn't going to give in, but she wasn't the only person in the village to assign missions – just the only one to usually assign A-rank and S-ranks. A B-rank would be boring, but it'd be better than sitting in his apartment.

***

The decision to stop by the memorial stone wasn't conscious, and Kakashi only realized he was there after an hour of staring blankly at the stone had passed. He shrugged and guided his feet back to where they were originally intended to carry him.

***

The mission room was full of people, and Kakashi took advantage of the fact, blending in with the crowd and observing the interactions. There were three Chuunin manning the desks, and Kakashi considered each by turn. One of them was a dark-haired man that he didn't recognize, but by the expression on the face of the Jounin glaring at him, he wouldn't be an easy mark. Kakashi watched them bicker for a few moments before his eyes slid on to the next possible target, and he found himself staring at one Umino Iruka.

Somehow, he didn't seem anything like a shy and blushing school-teacher when he was yelling and shoving a crumpled napkin into Asuma's face. His face was red, yes, but that was about all that the man had in common with Kakashi's half-formed perception of him. It made Kakashi wonder how someone with such a temper could possibly teach thirty pre-Genin brats five days a week without killing at least half of them. As he watched Asuma develop a twitch and Iruka slam the 'report' into his chest with a low growl, he thought he had an idea. Obviously the Chuunin took all of that frustration out on the Jounin in the mission room.

Kakashi sighed and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, glancing over his book at the third Chuunin. Unless somehow the woman showed a display of temper worse than Iruka's – and as the next shinobi in Iruka's line was holding out a clean, stapled eight-page report and still getting a glare, Kakashi wasn't sure if that was possible – she'd won by default. He still watched her for a few moments, and was glad to see that in contrast to the men she seemed to be a bit of a pushover. She was also slow, and her line was the longest. Apparently he wasn't the only person who'd noticed her lack of temper. With a shrug Kakashi stepped into line behind a Jounin he only vaguely recognized and settled into waiting.

He could feel eyes on him, but fortunately the porn made for a good excuse, and when it was combined with a lazy slouch, people hesitated to take the step from staring to talking. After around twenty minutes (in which he read three sex scenes, the last of which gave him new and interesting ideas on things to do with various vegetables), he was standing in front of the timid-looking Chuunin. Kakashi leaned a hip against the edge of her desk and continued to read for a good three minutes, then marked his place with a finger and glanced up at her.

"I'm here to pick up a mission," Kakashi said. The woman blinked and stared at him, and Kakashi wondered if he'd need to repeat the words. Just about when he'd decided the answer was yes, she spoke up.

"Kakashi-san, Tsunade-sama…" she started.

"Told me to come here and get a mission," Kakashi interrupted smoothly. The Chuunin's eyes widened further and Kakashi gave her a crinkly-eyed smile.

"Ah, but… she said…"

Kakashi arched up an eyebrow. "Yes?" The tone of his voice made no secret of the fact that he didn't want to be questioned, and he emphasized the message with a glare.

"Tsunade-sama told us not to give you any missions!" The woman blurted out, and looked at him worriedly. Kakashi smiled again.

"Maa, just a misunderstanding. She meant for me to stay away from S-rank for a bit, that's all. So if you could see your way to giving me, say, a B-rank…" The last sentence was in a low and confidential voice, and Kakashi leaned in close to deliver it.

"But…"

Kakashi smirked underneath his mask, and pointed at the scrolls piled on the desk.

"Just hand me one of those," he told her. The Chuunin looked at the mission scrolls then reached for one with a trembling hand. She was holding it out to Kakashi when a tanned hand intercepted it, snatching it away.

"Iruka-san!" The yelp was filled with a mixture of fear and relief, and the young woman looked up at the other Chuunin like he was a savior while Kakashi lazily glared at him. Damn it, so close.

"I've got this from here. Why don't you go ahead and take your lunch break?" The tone was kind and Iruka smiled at the woman, but she leapt to her feet immediately, knowing the order for what it was. As she scampered out of the room Kakashi sighed, and the teacher glared at him.

"Kakashi-san…" Iruka said, voice full of exasperation. Kakashi glared back, and Iruka shook his head.

"You know what Tsuande-sama said," Iruka told him. Kakashi snorted, stood up from the desk, and tucked his book away in his jacket. Iruka stared at him calmly, and Kakashi took a step forward, then another, leaning forward to intimidate the Chuunin.

"I want a mission," Kakashi said. Iruka's gaze didn't waver.

"I'm aware of that, but our orders state that you are not to be given one," Iruka told him. Kakashi shrugged lazily and stepped even closer, so that his masked face was only a few inches away from the teacher, and he was staring directly into a pair of chocolate brown eyes.

"Maa, Sensei, are you always so obedient?" Kakashi drawled lazily. Iruka flushed and ran his fingers through his hair, knocking a few strands loose from the ponytail. Kakashi leaned in further to press the advantage, then suddenly froze when he smelled something familiar. Something like ink and chalk and something else, something muskier and more human, all overlaid with a smell that he could best describe as sunshine – warm and outdoorsy and alive. Kakashi blinked and took a quick step back, then another one. Iruka looked at him, confused.

"Kakashi-san…?"

Kakashi shook his head quickly. It couldn't have been. He'd already decided it was a dream, and there was no sign of anyone having been in his apartment other than that smell – that too-familiar, permeating scent, that now seemed to fill the entire mission room, making Kakashi wonder how it was possible that he hadn't smelled it before now.

"It was you…" Kakashi breathed, staring at the Chuunin. He thought he saw a second of recognition on Iruka's face, then he simply looked slightly fretful, and Kakashi wondered if he'd seen the hesitation or imagined it.

"Kakashi-san, are you okay? You're acting oddly…" Iruka trailed off. Kakashi blinked and tried to regather his wits. It couldn't have been the Chuunin. There was no way someone like him would've been able to make it past Kakashi's wards, and he knew for a fact that he'd heard the other man leave the apartment, so he couldn't have just stayed. His eyes dropped to Iruka's hands, and he tried to remember what they'd felt like when the Chuunin had dragged him into the Hokage's office, but he couldn't.

"Kakashi-san?" The voice was full of concern now, and it made Kakashi look up. That sounded familiar, but the Chuunin had sounded concerned over him before, and it didn't prove anything. Kakashi opened his mouth to ask, but something stopped him. Whoever it had been hadn't stolen anything, yes, but they'd gone to extraordinary lengths to hide their presence. Even if it had been the Chuunin, he wouldn't admit to it that easily. Kakashi shook his head and turned away.

"It's nothing, Iruka-sensei."

It was only after he'd left the room and was halfway to his apartment that Kakashi realized he'd forgotten his true objective of obtaining a mission, but that revelation didn't disturb Kakashi as much as it would've an hour ago. Kakashi had more interesting things to ponder… like how a Chuunin teacher had possibly broken into his apartment.

* * *

(A/N): Sorry this chapter took a bit longer. All reviews are appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

Kakashi took his time walking home, browsing through the stalls with Icha Icha firmly in front of his face as he went. He skimmed over fruits and vegetables, picked up a couple of steaks for the dogs, and altogether avoided ration bars. If he was going to be stuck in Konoha for another three weeks, he might as well take advantage of it. Cooking took time and was boring, but it was slightly less boring than staring at his ceiling. Kakashi absently paid for the carrots and only realized after sticking them into his shopping bag alongside the celery that he'd gathered the ingredients for chicken soup.

Kakashi sighed and considered throwing the vegetables away out of sheer stubbornness, but had to admit privately that the soup had been good, and that he was hungry. He let the carrots stay, but defiantly added an eggplant to his purchases, and counted out the money for miso paste while reading about the things a very busty brunette could do with her tongue. That reminded him of the scenes he'd read in the mission room, which brought him back to vegetables (though in a much more interesting and pleasant way).

The thought of Iruka came up a few times, but Kakashi successfully pushed it to the back of his mind. Yes, he'd thought that the Chuunin had smelled like his intruder, but even Kakashi would admit that he was exhausted. It was entirely possible that he'd imagined the similarity. And even if his apartment did smell like the teacher, there was a reason for that. Iruka had been there, after all, even though it'd only been for an hour at most and there was no way the scent could cover everything like that in an hour.

There was also the simple matter of it being impossible for a Chuunin to make it past his wards, especially one who wasn't even active. He was a teacher, a paper-pusher, as close to a civilian as a person could be while still wearing the hitai-ate. There was no ego involved in Kakashi's certainty that the break-in would've been impossible for most Jounin, much less a simple Chuunin. And Kakashi was certain that he'd heard the Chuunin leave – so it wasn't likely that the man had just stayed in the apartment.

Even more compelling than the physical impossibility of it, though, was the lack of reason for it. Yes, the teacher had said something about repaying a debt – but even someone as soft-hearted as Iruka wouldn't continue to come around after what Kakashi had very deliberately said to him. It'd surprised him enough that the Chuunin had chosen to stay long enough to make sure that Kakashi wasn't going to die instead of leaving him on the floor. Coming back after that was incomprehensible. The man had absolutely no reason to come looking for Kakashi, and even less reason to be kind to him.

The more he thought about it, the more he thought that the "intruder" probably hadn't been there at all. There was no reason for anyone to be kind to Kakashi. That wasn't limited to Iruka. And privately, Kakashi could admit that the dream – for that's what it had to be – had been kind. The hands had felt good, but not as good as the voice, soft and stroking, pushing the nightmares away. For a moment Kakashi wondered what he'd done to deserve a dream like that, then shrugged. It was a fantasy, and it made sense that someone like him would fantasize about being cared for. He should just count himself lucky that he'd dreamt about something other than death for once.

Kakashi firmly pushed the thoughts away again and headed back to his apartment. He opened the wards easily this time and was relieved to see how much his chakra reserves had improved in just a few days. The apartment was still dusty, and Kakashi went straight to the kitchen. He cast a longing glance at the carrots before putting them away along with the rest of the food, and he prepared the miso soup instead, adding the sliced eggplant only after the paste had dissolved. He ate slowly, almost defiantly for someone accustomed to gulping down food.

After two bowls he couldn't eat anymore, and he put the leftovers away before stumbling into the bedroom, suddenly tired. It'd been a long day for someone who'd only recently recovered from being ill. It was only after he'd collapsed in bed and burrowed down into the covers that Kakashi noticed something he'd realized on a subconscious level as soon as he'd stepped into the apartment.

It smelled. Not in a bad way – it smelled of miso and dogs, dust and parchment and the slightly dry scent of dead plant leaves. Kakashi's own scent was there, too, but it wasn't that scent that made him sit up in bed and stare around him. It smelled like… ink. And chalk.

It hadn't been a dream.

Kakashi sighed and rolled out of bed, considering his options for a moment. He bit sharply at his thumb, then his fingers flashed through the signs of the summoning jutsu. He slammed his hand down on the shuriken patterned comforter, and when the smoke cleared there was a small pug sitting on his bed.

"What is it, Boss?" the dog asked, and Kakashi hesitated for a moment, trying to decide how to explain the situation.

"I need you to identify a scent," he said evasively. The pug tilted his head to the side.

"In the village?" It was a valid question. Pakkun was usually only summoned when Kakashi was in trouble, and being called in the middle of the night in Konoha could only mean something bad was going on. Kakashi shrugged.

"Maa, it's not…"

Pakkun watched his master silently, and the silver-haired shinobi sat down on the bed beside the dog with a sigh.

"Someone broke into my apartment. I need to find out who."

The pug's eyes widened and he looked at his master disbelievingly.

"Someone broke into here?" The disbelief in his voice was clear, and Kakashi nodded. If anyone knew how paranoid he was about security, it would be the dogs. Pakkun was only called in for tracking, but the others were often used for guard duty when things got slippery. They were often the only reason he slept on missions at all.

Pakkun growled low in his throat and hopped down off the bed, sniffing around the room. The small dog hesitated at the chair sitting in front of the desk, then prowled through the rest of the apartment. His nose brushed over every surface and Kakashi followed behind him, watching the dog carefully for his reactions. When the pug reached the kitchen he sniffed at the refrigerator door until the Copy Nin reluctantly opened it for him and pulled out the remnants of his dinner.

Pakkun sniffed disapprovingly at the soup, but he ate it without any audible complaints, though his eyes frequently cut at his master. Kakashi sighed, but didn't move to prepare anything else for the greedy animal. After finishing his meal the pug licked his chops then settled back on his hind legs, eyeing his master thoughtfully.

"There are only two scents in the apartment, Boss," Pakkun said. Kakashi gestured for him to continue, and the pug tilted his head to the side slightly as if thinking about something.

"The first is yours."

"That's obvious." Kakashi didn't bother to keep the irritation out of his voice. Pakkun snorted.

"The second belongs to that little academy teacher, the one who was always hanging over the blonde brat," he said. Kakashi blinked.

"Are you certain?" Kakashi asked. Pakkun nodded.

"I spent a week on the field with him. I'd think I'd be able to recognize his scent," he said. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that.

"Then do you have any idea why he'd…" Kakashi gestured at the apartment helplessly. Pakkun shrugged.

"Not a clue," the dog said. Kakashi sighed.

"Thanks," Kakashi told the dog. Pakkun nodded.

"Anything else, Boss?" he asked. Kakashi hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. The dog left in a puff of smoke, and Kakashi wandered back into the bedroom, where the scent was still the thickest.

Kakashi glanced at the window and considered his options. He could open it and hope that the smell would dissipate but make himself more vulnerable, or he could suffer through it for the night and do something about it in the morning. On some level he wanted to take the risk and purge any sign of someone having been in his apartment when he wasn't aware of it, but he'd been shinobi too long for impulses like that to control him. He settled back down on the bed and took a deep breath then closed his eyes. When he was half asleep, he admitted in a very small piece of himself that the scent was almost comforting. It reminded him of cool hands and a warm smile, and when Kakashi fell asleep that night, for perhaps the first time in years, he didn't dream.

***

Kakashi woke between one breath and another, and he stayed perfectly still until he was certain that he was still in Konoha, still in his apartment. The habit of waking silently was one that acquired over many years in the field, and it was one that many shinobi shared. Anything that gave you a better chance of staying alive was worth cultivating. Kakashi sighed and rolled out of bed, then stared at the room, trying to decide what to do with the day.

All of his attempts at getting a mission had failed, and the need was starting to make him nervous. The desire for action, for movement settled down along the edges of his nerves and rubbed them raw whenever he moved or breathed. The nervousness was overwhelming. Kakashi ruthlessly choked it down and took deep, steadying breaths until his hands stopped shaking. He needed a distraction.

He ran his hands through his mussed silver hair and sighed. He could train, but he knew instinctively that it wouldn't be enough. It never was, when he got like this, and in his current mood he'd just land himself in the hospital. He stared at the wall for a long time before an idea tugged at the edges of his mind.

It was stupid. It was quite possibly reckless. If he was found by the wrong person, he could be killed. But if he got away with it, he'd at least know a Chuunin schoolteacher had managed to break into his apartment. And if he was lucky, the danger of the situation would take the worst of the edge off.

Quickly and silently, Kakashi pulled his gear on, then headed across the rooftops to break into the Hokage's Tower.

***

Kakashi flipped rapidly through the files until he found the one he wanted, then eased it out of the desk, making sure to carefully note the placement so that he could return it without being noticed. Undoing the seal on the folder took more work, but it wasn't as hard to get into as either the office or the desk, and minutes later Kakashi was thoroughly engrossed in the file of one Umino Iruka.

The evaluation emphasized that the man had an impressive knowledge of seals, though less than that of the Copy Nin, and Kakashi felt a tension that he didn't know had gathered in his shoulders slowly relax. If it was on his record, then it meant the Hokage knew about it – and if the Hokage knew about it, he didn't have to worry about why a Chuunin was capable of bypassing his wards. Well, outside of the normal worry he felt about anyone being able to get past them, much less doing so. He made a mental note to completely redo the seals when he had enough energy.

The first surprise that he found was on the list of completed missions. Fourteen A-ranks… Kakashi raised a brow and casually pushed his hitai-ate up so that he could memorize the words. It wasn't uncommon for a Chuunin to have one or two A-ranks, especially with the condition Konoha was currently in. All non-essential personnel were on the field instead of pushing papers, and if it weren't for his high security clearance – the second surprise Kakashi noticed – and his position at the Academy, Iruka probably would've been out on missions as well.

Kakashi skimmed through the notes on the A-rank missions and was surprised to note that with the exception of three, they'd all been completed before the man started teaching at the Academy – which he'd done at eighteen. Kakashi raised a brow at that. The file didn't read like that of a paper-pusher, except for the lack of high-ranking missions over the past six years, and that was explained by the same reasons that kept Iruka in the village now when most others were doing field work.

Turning back to the evaluation of Iruka's abilities, Kakashi admitted to himself that the file read more like that of a tokubetsu Jounin than of a no-name Chuunin. The teacher's genjutsu was weak, but his taijutsu and ninjutsu were at acceptable levels, and if Ibiki's notation could be trusted, the Chuunin was quite intelligent – nearly genius-level, if not there. Kakashi frowned at that. Why would someone with so much promise as a shinobi be wasted in the classroom? He flipped back to the mission reports and quickly became so engrossed in them that he didn't notice the other chakra signature until it was looming over him.

"What do you think you're doing, Hatake?"

Kakashi froze and turned around guiltily. Tsunade's face was an unappealing shade of red, and her fists were clenched – though that was easily explained by the fact that one of her Jounin who was probably technically supposed to be at home resting was instead in her office going through confidential files. He smiled a crinkly-eyed smile at her and didn't bother trying to hide the file in his hand, though a part of him was tempted to stick it behind his back just to watch her fume.

"Maa, I ran out of reading material, so I thought I'd try and find some here," Kakashi drawled. Tsunade's eyebrow twitched.

"You're not going to find porn in the personnel files, brat," she said. Kakashi grinned beneath his mask.

"Maa, obaa-san, I don't know… there are some pretty racy pictures in here," he said. Tsunade glanced at the file he was waving and he saw her twitch again – but this time it was her hand, reaching toward the file. Kakashi took advantage of it, leaning in to whisper confidentially.

"There's this one where he's doing this… thing… with his toes. I don't think even Jiraiya knew that was possible. And then there's the shirtless picture…"

Tsunade twitched again and ripped the file from his hands. He noticed with satisfaction that she glanced down at the contents before slapping it shut.

"There's no such thing," she growled at him, but there was a note of something suspiciously like disappointment in her voice. Kakashi held back a chuckle.

"It'd be more interesting if there was, though, you have to admit. Maybe you should make it a new policy," he suggested. She considered it for a moment, glancing at the file in her hands, then her eyes hardened.

"What were you doing with Umino Iruka's file?" she asked. Kakashi shrugged.

"I was curious," he said bluntly. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why?"

"Because he broke into my apartment," Kakashi told her calmly. Tsunade blinked.

"He what?" she asked. Kakashi nodded.

"Broke into my apartment," he repeated. Her eyes widened and she flipped the folder open again, skimming through it.

"Any idea why?" she asked. Kakashi glanced away from her, and she glared at him until he shifted his weight to his other foot and sighed.

"No," he said succinctly. Tsunade snorted and raised a brow as if she didn't believe him, but didn't say anything. She quickly resealed the file and put it back into the desk.

"If you want to know something about Umino Iruka, I suggest you go ask him instead of stealing his files," she said. Kakashi shrugged, unrepentant, and the Hokage gestured for him to step forward.

"Since you're here anyway, might as well check on that wound of yours," she said. Kakashi sighed but came closer and bore her hands poking and prodding at the scar. After a few minutes she tilted her head back to look up at the silver-haired shinobi, brow furrowed.

"Did you stop by the hospital, brat?" she asked. Kakashi snorted, and the Sannin laughed at the expression on his face.

"Of course not. What was I thinking," the blonde woman said, and tugged Kakashi's shirt down before stepping away from him.

"Why do you ask?" Kakashi questioned, and Tsunade shook her head, obviously unwilling to answer.

"It seems to have healed well. You should be fine to start training again within a few days," she told him. Kakashi nodded slowly.

"And?"

Tsuande sighed and looked away from him.

"You sure he's the one who broke into your place?" she asked. Kakashi hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

"I had Pakkun check," he told her. The blonde woman's shoulder's tensed, and she looked out the window.

"Did he do anything when he was there?"

Kakashi frowned and remembered the feeling of hands on his skin, stroking, soothing. He hesitated for a moment, then shook his head.

"Not that I remember," Kakashi said. Tsunade nodded absently, and Kakashi frowned beneath his mask.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" he asked. Tsunade glanced at him, and he watched her eyes drift down to his covered side.

"No."

Kakashi stared at her calmly, letting her know that he knew the lie for what it was. The Hokage broke eye contact first, and Kakashi turned to leave.

"Brat?"

Kakashi paused with his hand on the door, but didn't turn around.

"Yes?"

"If you find out anything, let me know."

Kakashi didn't let his surprise at the request show, but it was only years of training in ANBU that kept him from telegraphing his reaction. He nodded slowly, then pushed the door open.

* * *

(A/N): Sorry this took so long, midterms ate my brain! Leave a review to let me know what you thought.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

Kakashi dumped the armload of cleaners on the kitchen counter and stared around the apartment, trying to decide where to start first. Everything was still covered in dust, with visible trails of footprints leading to the bedroom and bathroom, and if he squinted closely enough at the corners, he could see spider webs. With a sigh the Jounin rolled up his sleeves and got to work.

Three hours and four clones later, Kakashi dropped the dust-covered cloth into the trash and sighed. The apartment was finally something approaching clean, and it smelled now of lemon-scented cleaner and fresh breeze from the windows he'd thrown open, instead of like the teacher. It felt good, purging, like the man was finally out of his life and Kakashi could go back to being peacefully alone without any worried brown eyes or suspicious visits or hovering Hokages. Having a clean apartment somehow made Kakashi feel more in control of the situation. So the teacher had broken in. Big deal. He'd redo the wards and that'd be that. He didn't have to have anything more to do with the man.

Despite his assertions, though, that night when Kakashi took a bite of his freshly-made chicken soup, he couldn't help but reflect that the Chuunin's had tasted better.

***

Idle curiosity was starting to turn into obsession, and Kakashi blamed it on the lack of entertainment. He'd read the most recent volume of Icha Icha eleven times. He'd reread the entire series twice, going backwards from the newest book the first time, then forward again from the original volume. He'd cautiously examined the plant Naruto had given him and was surprised to find that underneath the layers of dead leaves, there was still something approaching life. He'd trimmed the foliage away and started watering the plant again, but it still looked naked and a bit forlorn, and the entire time he'd been thinking about Iruka.

He'd completely redone the seals on the apartment, and had spent two days designing a particularly nasty trap of chakra wire and exploding tags that was nothing short of brilliant. He'd tied the masterpiece into the door, where it'd do the most good to stop an intruder, and had carefully keyed the entire thing so that even a brush of chakra other than his or his dogs would set it off. He'd cooked the steaks he'd bought and summoned the entire pack, and surprisingly didn't lose any fingers in the process of feeding the dogs. They'd each given him an appreciative lick before leaving, and Pakkun had stayed behind long enough to make sure that his master was still sane – or at least, sane for Kakashi. He hadn't been reassured.

He'd started training a day earlier than Tsunade had advised, but it was a futile exercise. It only made him realize what he was missing, and more often than not he ended up sitting in a tree reading porn instead of performing his katas. He did enough to keep his body in shape and no more. He was fortunate that his wiry frame didn't lose muscle easily. It took hard work to put it on, but it was the lean type of muscle that clung persistently throughout injury. Liberal use of salves and oils had started to fade the scar on his side, softening the tissue so that it wouldn't bind and constrict the flesh when he twisted.

All in all, it'd been one of the most boring weeks of Kakashi's life, and when he heard a loud knocking on his door, he was almost relieved. It'd be good to face the Chuunin, to get everything out in the open. Maybe then he'd be able to stop thinking about the man, stop obsessing over why he'd broken in, stop wondering about the slight wariness in Tsunade's eyes. Maybe it'd even stop the dreams at night. A month ago, Kakashi would've been happy to be dreaming about anything other than being tortured, but now he almost wished for the bite of kunai against his skin when he closed his eyes. Those dreams still came, but more often than not they'd be interrupted by memories of comforting hands. It was driving the Copy Nin insane. When he opened the door to see a black bowl-cut and a toothy smile instead of warm brown eyes, the feeling relief immediately drained away.

"My Eternal Rival!" Gai beamed at him, and Kakashi sighed, wondering what he'd done to deserve this. He stared at the spandex-clad man and seriously considered slamming the door shut in his face.

"What do you want, Gai?" Kakashi asked.

"Why, to invite you to participate in a Challenge on this fine, Youthful day!"

Kakashi winced and tried closing his eye, just to see if it'd make the green disappear. If there was one color that Kakashi disliked more than the day-glow orange Naruto wore, it was Gai's green spandex. Of course, that dislike was partially influenced by the way said spandex _hugged_ the man's overly muscular frame. When Kakashi opened his eye Gai was still there and still smiling, and he sighed.

"Not now, Gai. Come back some other time." Like never.

"But I have come up with a Most Noble Challenge, Eternal Rival!" Gai exclaimed. He stuck his thumb out and turned up the wattage of his smile, and Kakashi groaned. When Gai was in one of these moods, he was impossible to get rid of, and as much as he didn't want to, Kakashi knew that the quickest way to handle the situation would be to give in. The Copy Nin crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame.

"What is it?" he asked with a sigh. Gai grinned triumphantly.

"A test of speed, shown through noble Combat, oh Rival!"

Unwillingly Kakashi glanced up at the other man, interest sparked. It was rare for Gai to challenge him to a spar – usually he preferred games of chance. And as annoying as the man was, he was blindingly fast. It promised to be a good fight, and perhaps, Kakashi thought, that was exactly what he needed.

"You're on."

***

The spar was fast and harsh, a blur of moving limbs and dodged attacks. They used no jutsu, but to account for Gai's greater speed, Kakashi left the Sharingan uncovered. They fought for hours, silently, with the understanding that comes from years of training together. Knowing where Gai would move to attack, when he'd hold back, and how far he could be pressed didn't make the fight less satisfying. If anything, it made it more so. The people that Kakashi could honestly spar with were rare, and Gai was one of the few he trusted to be strong enough not to get hurt. Kakashi let go of his worries and dedicated himself completely to avoiding the larger man's attacks and countering with his own.

The fight ended with Gai as the victor, and they lay back on the grass, panting for breath, staring up at the sky. It felt good to be so tired, good to have the burn in his muscles, good to have bruises and aches from where Gai's fists had landed, good to have the soreness on his own hands where he'd struck the larger man, good to have the quiet feeling of companionship afterward. It was something that Kakashi would never grow fully accustomed to – finishing a fight without anyone dying, without any hard feelings. There was something unnatural about it for a shinobi, to fight without killing.

Kakashi sighed glanced over at the man lying beside him. Gai's eyes were closed and his chest heaved as he pulled in deep breath after deep breath. Kakashi closed his eyes as well and waited until the man's breathing was steady and calm before speaking.

"How much do you know about Umino Iruka?"

He heard the slight scuffle of Gai's spandex sliding against the grass as he sat up, and felt the man's eyes settle on him thoughtfully. He didn't bother opening his eyes, and after a moment, Gai spoke.

"Not much. Why?" His voice was calm and smooth, the usual manic edge taken off by the heat of the spar. They talked rarely, but when they did it was always like this, and Kakashi reflected for a moment that Gai's mask was far better than his. When you openly wore your mask on your face, it was easy for people to know that it was there. Gai's was far harder to perceive, especially because the Gai he presented to the world was the real Gai – just dialed up and blown out of proportion. It was like Genma's senbon, or Asuma's cigarettes. To survive, Jounin had to fragment their personalities, and Gai, like Kakashi, had even more reason than most. He knew that beneath the man's green spandex was a swirl tattoo, one that perfectly matched the one on his own arm.

Once ANBU, always ANBU.

"No real reason. Just curious." Kakashi answered, and he heard Gai shift. When he opened his eyes he saw that the other man was resting his chin on his knees, looking off into the forest pensively.

"I know that he spent a lot of time with the Third. Other than that, only what my team told me," Gai said. Kakashi lazily arched a brow at that, and Gai glanced over at him.

"What did they say?" Kakashi let the curiosity show in his voice, and Gai looked at him for a long moment before responding. Look underneath the underneath, Kakashi always said, and Gai knew the Copy Nin too well to believe that the questions were idle.

"That he was a good teacher," Gai said quietly, and Kakashi nodded.

"Anything else?" he asked, and Gai shook his head.

"Not really. Why not try asking Sakura?" he suggested, and Kakashi narrowed his eye at him. Gai had been trying to get him to talk to the pink-haired girl for months now. He'd started by reporting the girl's progress with Tsunade one day, and now her name came up whenever they talked like this. Kakashi shook his head.

"She's too busy," he said. Gai snorted.

"Don't you mean you're too busy?" he asked, and Kakashi glared at him. Gai withstood the glare calmly, and Kakashi dropped his gaze, sighing.

"Perhaps," he said.

"Why won't you talk to her?" Gai asked. Kakashi thought about lying, or just ignoring the question, but for some reason he didn't entirely understand, he started talking.

"I never – never really paid much attention to her. It was always about the boys, and she was just there, in the background, quiet and unobtrusive. Whenever I taught them some chakra trick she'd catch on quickly, so quickly that it never really caught on that I might need to teach her, to show her how to do things. When it finally hit me that she might need my help, the team dynamic was already set. If I'd tried to do anything, she would've thought I saw her as weak."

Kakashi fell silent, and Gai didn't push, but Kakashi could feel the man's attention focused on him, quietly waiting. He sighed.

"If I'm honest, I just don't want to face her. I'm the reason Sasuke left. It's my fault that he betrayed the village, my fault that Naruto had to leave. It's my fault that she doesn't have a team."

"You're wrong," Gai said, and his voice was firm. Kakashi glanced up at him, surprised, and Gai continued.

"She has a team, Kakashi-san. She has you."

With that, the black-haired Jounin pushed himself to his feet, and headed for the village. Kakashi knew that the next time he saw him, he'd be ranting about Youth and Springtime and Challenges. And he knew that he'd put up with it, because he owed the man at least that.

***

Kakashi hesitated with his hand on the door. The hospital smelled like cleaner, medicine, and blood, and he didn't like it. He considered turning around, walking out and leaving before it was too late. He pulled his hand back and stuffed it into his pocket, and had already turned to leave when the door behind him opened.

"Kakashi-sensei!" The voice was familiar, girlish and filled with surprise. Kakashi suppressed a sigh and turned around to face his former student. Her face was lit up with a smile, and he awkwardly gave her a two-fingered salute, eye crinkling at the corners.

"Yo."

Sakura beamed at him, and for a moment he thought she was going to hug him, but she held the urge in. He laughed a little, self-consciously, and scratched the back of his head.

"How've you been?" he asked her, and the girl's smile broadened even further. It hurt, to see her smile like that. He hadn't seen that smile since… since Sasuke had left. It was different now, sadder, more adult, but somehow more real.

"Busy. Tsunade-sama keeps me working hard," she said, gesturing at the files she was holding. Kakashi nodded and tried to think of a way to leave without offending her. The girl's green eyes narrowed suddenly, and she looked at him more closely.

"Are you injured, Kakashi-sensei?" she asked, and her voice held a touch of threat to it. Apparently his former student had been briefed on his… ah, tendencies. He smiled.

"Not really," he said. Sakura looked at him as if she didn't believe him, but didn't press the issue. For a moment he was grateful that it hadn't progressed to that point yet – he already saw too much of Tsunade in the way she stood and half-glared at him. It'd be humiliating if his former student started bossing him around the same way the Hokage did.

"What are you doing here, then?" Sakura asked, tilting her head to the side curiously. Kakashi hesitated. It'd be almost easy to do it – to tell her that he'd come to apologize for everything. But apologizing would mean that he felt he deserved to be forgiven, and he didn't. The Copy Nin glanced away.

"Actually, I had a few questions that I wanted to ask you," he told her. Sakura looked surprised, but she nodded.

"Let me just drop these files off. It's almost time for my lunch-break," she told him, then she suddenly grinned. "Ichiraku's?"

Kakashi laughed and nodded. He knew that the pink-haired girl disliked ramen as much as he did, but somehow it felt right.

***

As they walked to the ramen stand, the pink-haired girl babbled about her training, and Kakashi pretended to read his book while listening to every word she said. He'd heard most of it from Gai or from Tsunade herself, but as her teacher, he at least owed her this much – to listen to her accomplishments with a willing ear. He made an assenting sound and turned the page, and the girl went into a long explanation of a particularly difficult medical jutsu that ended only when they were at the restaurant.

If the owner was surprised to see them he didn't let it show, and when he delivered the steaming bowls of ramen, he smiled at them.

"Have you heard anything from Naruto?" he asked, and Kakashi paused for a moment before lowering his book and shaking his head slightly. Sakura was silent, and he could see the tension gathered in her jaw, along with a touch of sadness in her eyes. The man looked uncomfortable for a moment, then smiled at them both.

"Well, if you do, tell him that his next meal is on the house," he said. Kakashi nodded at him and tucked the book away in his jacket. He sniffed at the bowl automatically, then started to eat. He watched Sakura from the corner of his eye, but her attention was focused on the noodles, and she pushed them around in the bowl with her chopsticks.

"I just miss them, you know?" The girl's voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Kakashi sighed and put his chopsticks down, then turned to look at the girl. He hesitated for a moment, trying to decide what to say, then settled on the truth.

"Me too."

The pink-haired kuniochi glanced up at him, surprised, then smiled a little. She took a bite of her noodles then paused, chewing thoughtfully.

"Kakashi-sensei?" she asked. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the girl.

"Yes?"

"What was it that you wanted to ask me about?" Curiosity was clear in her voice, and the Copy Nin glanced away from her. She sighed and tucked into her food while waiting for him to speak, and Kakashi wondered when the girl had learned patience. She seemed like an odd mixture of Tsunade and Shizune, and he wondered if Sakura was still there underneath it all, or if this was who she'd been all along and he'd just never seen her because he was so busy focusing on the one's who'd left.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you a few questions about Iruka-sensei," Kakashi told her.

"Iruka-sensei? Why him?" Sakura asked, and Kakashi shrugged casually.

"No real reason," he said. Sakura titled her head to the side and looked at him assessingly, then shrugged as well.

"What do you want to know?" she asked, and Kakashi considered it for a moment.

"How about everything?" he said, and Sakura smiled.

"Well, I don't know him as well as Naruto does, but he was my teacher for six years."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that, and the pink-haired girl smiled mischievously.

"We were his first class," she said, and Kakashi blinked. His Genin team had been bad enough, but having those three along with Asuma and Kurenai's teams before any of them had learned about things like chakra control or weapon use or anything but how to be little bloodthirsty monsters… as his first class… Kakashi shook his head and let out a low whistle. Sakura grinned back at him.

"I know. So, where to start…"

* * *

(A/N): Reviews make me a happy panda, and being a happy panda makes me devote more time to writing. Therefore, me being a happy panda is in your best interests!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

"…and then Naruto started protesting that it was only cheating if he got caught, so Iruka-sensei strung him up by his ankles on the ceiling as an example, and told him that if he didn't want to be caught he'd better work on his stealth skills, and that if he was so sure he was ready to be a shinobi and didn't need to study, he could get out of the trap on his own, and…"

As Kakashi watched a honey-skinned hand landed on top of Sakura's pink hair and ruffled it. She squeaked and leaned backwards, then laughed when she saw her teacher standing there. Iruka's eyes were crinkled at the corners in a smile, but somehow they looked nothing like Kakashi's when he did the same thing – there was no hostility about it.

"Are you telling that story _again_, Sakura-chan?" Iruka asked, and the pink-haired girl giggled.

"Well, you're the one who did it, Iruka-sensei! He stayed on the ceiling for three days!"

The Chuunin snorted and sat down on the stool next to his former student.

"At least I fed him," he said, and Sakura grinned.

"How'd he get down anyway?" she asked, and Iruka grinned back.

"I let him down," he said, and Sakura looked at him with surprise.

"Why? That was the best prank ever!"

Iruka blushed slightly and rubbed his finger over the scar crossing his nose.

"Well… I was starting to get tired of the smell."

Sakura dissolved in laughter at that, and Iruka glanced past her at Kakashi and smiled.

"Nice to see you again, Kakashi-san," the Chuunin said, and Kakashi nodded his acknowledgement. Sakura finally managed to stop laughing, and she glanced between her teachers.

"Well, I should get back to the hospital, Kakashi-sensei. If you want to know more, I'm sure Iruka-sensei remembers it all better than I do," she said, and Kakashi glared half-heartedly after her as the girl left. Iruka smiled at him.

"What was it you wanted to know about, Kakashi-san?" he asked, and Kakashi turned the glare to the Chuunin before sighing.

"Nothing," he said. The teacher shrugged and ordered a bowl of ramen. He'd eaten half of it before he spoke again.

"If you wanted to know more about me, Kakashi-san, there are easier ways than asking my ex-students or going through my files," he said. Kakashi blinked.

"She told you about that?"

The teacher laughed at the expression on the silver-haired shinobi's face.

"Nope. I just guessed. Pretty accurately, apparently!"

Kakashi sighed, and Iruka looked slightly repentant.

"If you want to know something, Kakashi-san, just ask me," he said. Kakashi looked at him consideringly for a moment, then glanced around to make certain that no one was listening to them.

"Alright then. Why did you break into my apartment?"

The tan man's skin flushed and he looked down at his bowl for a long moment.

"Straight to the point then, Kakashi-san?"

The Jounin shrugged. "You told me to ask."

"So I did," murmured the teacher, and he fiddled with his chopsticks. "How'd you figure out it was me?" he asked, and there was a note of genuine curiosity in his voice. Kakashi hid his surprise that the man didn't deny it behind a shrug.

"Your scent," he said simply. Iruka frowned.

"My scent would've been there anyway," he said, and Kakashi shrugged again.

"But not that strongly."

"How do you know that I didn't just stay?" the Chuunin asked.

"I heard you leave. And I saw the disturbance in the seals."

The brown-haired man winced at that.

"I thought I covered my tracks pretty well," he said, and sighed. Kakashi tilted his head to the side slightly, considering the younger man.

"You did. If it weren't for this, I wouldn't have noticed." Kakashi tapped the hitai-ate covering his Sharingan, and the teacher's eyes widened in understanding.

"Good to know," he said, and Kakashi could practically see the wheels turn in his head as he evaluated ways to avoid the Sharingan in the future. He snorted.

"You're pretty good with seals," Kakashi said, and the teacher suddenly grinned.

"So are you, Kakashi-san. Your traps are some of the best I've seen," he complemented.

"Mmm. I've replaced all of them," Kakashi told him, and Iruka sighed.

"You didn't have to do that," he said, "I wouldn't have come back in."

"Why break in at all?" Kakashi asked. Iruka fidgeted for a moment.

"You probably won't believe me," he said. Kakashi shrugged.

"Try me."

Iruka sighed.

"I was worried about you," he said.

"Worried about me?" Kakashi raised a brow, and the teacher nodded sharply.

"Yes."

Kakashi stared at him for a moment, trying to decide if the man was lying or not. There were none of the usual tells, but he'd learned over the past few weeks not to underestimate the Chuunin.

"Why?" Kakashi asked, and Iruka looked embarrassed.

"You were… ah, screaming," he said, and Kakashi blinked.

"What?"

"I came over to check on you and I heard screaming, okay? I thought something was wrong," he said. Kakashi frowned.

"Why were you there in the first place?" he asked.

"I already told you. I was worried about you," the Chuunin said.

"Why?"

Iruka sighed. "Do I really need a reason for being worried about someone?" he asked.

"Yes."

Iruka stared down at his bowl and shoved the noodles around for a moment.

"You looked like death warmed over, and I knew that you didn't have anyone to check on you. I wanted to make sure you were still breathing," he said. Kakashi shook his head.

"I don't understand you," he said, and Iruka suddenly smiled.

"That's okay. I don't understand you either," he said, and Kakashi laughed despite himself. The rest of the meal passed in silence, but it was a good silence. Kakashi left before Iruka did, and put down enough money to cover for the teacher's food as well as his own. The Chuunin noticed, and glanced up at him.

"Kakashi-san?"

"Yes?"

"If you do that, I owe you a meal," he said. Kakashi shrugged.

"Look at it as payment for the soup," he said. Iruka shook his head.

"Nope."

Kakashi sighed and started to say no, then remembered the wariness in Tsunade's eyes and her request. Somehow he had a feeling that admitting to the break-in wasn't all that she wanted to know, and it'd present an opportunity to question the teacher further. "Fine then. You owe me a meal."

Iruka smiled. "Good! Are you busy tomorrow?" he asked, and Kakashi hesitated before shaking his head slowly.

"Perfect. My shift at the mission room ends at six. Meet me there?"

Kakashi nodded bemusedly, and the brown-haired man's eyes suddenly narrowed.

"And, Kakashi-san?"

"Yes, Iruka-sensei?"

"If you don't show up on time, I'll prove that pre-Gennin aren't the only ones I can string up from the ceiling."

Kakashi laughed at that and waved a lazy two-fingered salute at the teacher before ambling off.

***

Kakashi spent an hour perched on the Hokage's windowsill reading his book before she noticed him. He felt the slight flare in her chakra and nodded slightly in response, and she made some excuse to the dignitary who'd been slowly boring her to tears and shooed him away. As soon as the man was gone the Copy Nin dropped into the office, landing smoothly. Tsunade sniffed slightly, but didn't say anything – for someone accustomed to Gai's Dynamic Entry, Kakashi's small episodes of showmanship were negligible.

"Did you find anything out?" she asked, and Kakashi arched a brow at his Hokage. He hadn't expected her to get to the point so quickly, and that more than anything reinforced his wariness about the situation. He studied her carefully for a moment, then shrugged, the motion fluid and casual.

"Not much," he said.

"Then why are you here?" Tsunade asked. Kakashi carefully tucked his book away and tilted his head to the side, watching the blonde woman's reactions. The corners of her eyes were tense with impatience, but that could just as easily have been caused by the babbling of the diplomat she'd recently dismissed. Kakashi ignored her glare and stepped behind the enormous desk, reaching underneath it to find a hidden compartment and withdrawing the bottle of sake and cups he knew were hidden there.

The Hokage looked at him disbelievingly, and he shrugged it off with a quick grin before opening the bottle and pouring a generous amount. He handed the cup to her and she stared at it with a good bit of trepidation. With some amusement Kakashi noted that it was the first time he'd ever seen the woman hesitate to take a drink.

"It's not spiked. I'd rather not have the ANBU hunt me down and kill me, thanks all the same." Kakashi put just enough humor into the statement to make Tsunade snort, and she took a deep sip of the sake.

"What do you have to tell me that's so bad I need to be drunk for it?" she asked.

Kakashi shrugged. "You looked stressed."

Tsunade sighed. "Some days I'd swear that they're deliberately trying to make this more difficult than it has to be."

Kakashi poured sake into another cup, then sat down on the Hokage's desk and took a sip through his mask. It was good, with just enough burn to it, and he glanced at the label of the bottle to memorize it. When Tsunade's cup ran empty, he filled it again without getting up from the desk, leaning over toward her. She downed the second glass with a sigh, then flopped down in her chair bonelessly.

"You said not much."

Kakashi glanced over at the blonde woman and nodded. Her golden eyes narrowed.

"That means you got something," she prompted. Kakashi nodded again. The Sannin's shoulders tensed, then she looked at him calculatingly.

"Report."

Kakashi looked at her curiously.

"I wasn't aware that this was a mission," he said. She snorted.

"It's not," Tsunade said.

Kakashi stared at her steadily, and the Sannin sighed before giving him a look that clearly said 'you see too damn much'. He agreed with that look on some level.

"He admitted to the break-in." Kakashi kept his voice calm and carefully modulated, and he caught only a flash of surprise in his Hokage's eyes before they turned thoughtful.

"Did he say why?"

Kakashi hesitated for a moment.

"Yes."

"And?" Tsunade's voice held a touch of impatience, and Kakashi sighed.

"He was worried about me."

The Hokage snorted then started to laugh disbelievingly. Kakashi glared at her.

"Trust me, I fully appreciate the irony," he said. It was ridiculous – a schoolteacher, a Chuunin worried about the great Sharingan no Kakashi. It was like a puppy being worried about the wellbeing of a lion. But it wasn't as funny as Tsunade seemed to think, and he wondered if it was the combination of sake and stress that were making her dissolve more than the news.

"Worried about you," the blonde woman repeated when she'd finally gotten enough control to stop the giggles. Kakashi nodded shortly.

"Yes." The syllable was sharp and curt, and held more than a little impatience within it. Tsunade looked at him with amusement that quickly slipped into consideration.

"I suppose that makes sense," she said slowly, and her eyes dipped down to his side, where the scar crossed over his ribs. Kakashi leaned back and deliberately placed his hand against the flesh, and he saw her eyes widen slightly.

"Does it hurt?" she asked, and he carefully kept his expression blank as he nodded. In a flash she was standing over him, hands on his side, chakra probing. When she found nothing to account for pain, her eyes narrowed, but by then Kakashi had already grabbed her wrist and was holding her still.

"Let me go." The threat in her voice was clear, as was the reminder. He might be the Copy Nin, but she was the Hokage, one of the three Sannin. It wouldn't be an easy fight for either of them. Kakashi squeezed her wrist warningly before releasing it, and regarded her with a cold gray eye, the easy familiarity of before melting away.

"What does he have to do with my wound?" Kakashi's voice was cold and hard, and it carried as much of an undercurrent of threat as the Sannin's. She stared at him for a long moment, then, with a jerk of her chin, looked away.

"You don't need to know that," she said. Kakashi growled low in his throat.

"Bullshit. There's something going on here and it involves me. A Chuunin somehow managed to break into my house, and you're asking for a report on it like it's a fucking mission and crawling out of your skin the moment I so much as suggest there's something wrong with the way I'm feeling. You're going to tell me what's going on, and you're going to tell me now."

Tsunade's shoulders tensed, and for a moment Kakashi thought she'd take him up on the implicit challenge, but then she sighed.

"He healed you." The words were simple, but the woman's voice sounded defeated and small in the too-large room. Kakashi thought for a moment. It wasn't such an unheard of thing – most shinobi knew at least some medical jutsu. With as often as they were injured, it was necessary. It'd make sense for a teacher more than for others, as well – children, especially shinobi children, were good at accumulating injuries.

"Why does that worry you?" Kakashi phrased the question carefully. Tsunade sighed before turning to look at him.

"It shouldn't, really. It's not that big of a thing. It's just that… he did it too well." Her voice trailed off at the end, and Kakashi raised a brow.

"Too well?"

"I have medics working for me who would've done a worse job of it. He was careful, and neat, and he's probably the reason you're back in shape now instead of still flat on your back. I would've left you like that in hopes that it'd have driven some sense into your thick head."

Kakashi remembered the way his side had hurt after Tsunade had healed it the second time, and then the difference when he'd woken. He frowned beneath the mask.

"Do you think he's the same as Kabuto?" Kakashi's question was soft and held more than a touch of wariness. Kabuto had been bad enough, but the man had been only a Genin. Iruka's clearance level for a Chuunin was incredibly high, and if he was a leak…

Tsunade shook her head. "No!"

"Then why…" Kakashi trailed off. Tsunade sighed.

"I'm almost sure he's not a traitor. But I can't be too careful, after what happened last time," Tsunade said.

Kakashi nodded slowly, and Tsunade continued. "If I make this a mission, the Council will know about it before morning, and he'll be brought up on charges. It's too suspicious – a Chuunin with Jounin-level abilities. That's why I need your help."

Kakashi tensed at that.

"Why me?"

Tsunade shrugged. "Because he seems to be interested in you. Interested enough to take the risks he has already. If he made a habit of doing things like this, it'd have been brought to my attention already and the problem would've been handled, but…"

"Get someone else," Kakashi said in a tone that brooked no argument. Tsunade glared at him, and there was a hint of the steel of before in her eyes.

"This is not a request, Hatake. This is an order," Tsunade told him.

He glared back for a moment, then looked down at the floor. She'd let him get away with challenging her once tonight – anything more was asking for trouble. Tsunade sighed.

"He doesn't have many friends. With Naruto gone, he's almost as much of a lone wolf as you are. You're the first person that he's reached out to," she said. The explanation wasn't necessary, and Kakashi knew that it was the closest thing to an apology he'd get from the Sannin. He nodded curtly.

"Just… try to be his friend," she said, and there was an undercurrent beneath her tone that had nothing to do with politics or suspicion. It held a touch of worry that was echoed in her eyes, and he realized then that she genuinely cared for the brown-haired teacher. It explained her odd tension, the way her eyes cut to the side when she spoke, and the hostility she'd shown when he questioned her. Usually Tsunade would've ignored it or put him into his place, rather than letting him approach her as an equal.

"I'm having dinner with him tonight," Kakashi said. The admission was no more necessary than her explanation, and they both knew why he'd said it. She nodded slightly.

"When?"

Kakashi glanced over at the clock.

"Hmm… in about five minutes," he said. She laughed at that, and he smiled back.

"How late do you plan to be?" The curiosity was evident in her voice, and Kakashi shrugged.

"Not at all."

Tsunade raised a brow at that. "What?"

Kakashi suddenly grinned at her. "He threw me off-balance. The least I can do is return the favor. After all, who ever heard of Hatake Kakashi showing up on time?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes and dismissed him with a wave of her hand, and Kakashi hopped down off her desk and ambled through the twists and turns of hallway that led to the mission room.

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

"You're on time." The Chuunin looked surprised, then he smiled and stood up, leaving the copybook he'd been reading on the desk. Kakashi watched with more than a small bit of amusement – and, considering his recent conversation with the Hokage, wariness – as Iruka carefully disarmed and dismantled a trap set to go off approximately three inches away from Kakashi's left foot. It was impressively hidden, and if it weren't for the slight reflection of light on the chakra wire tied to the teacher's fingers, Kakashi wouldn't have noticed the trap. It made him respect the Chuunin more. The man had been prepared to back up his threat, but careful enough to keep the trigger for it manual. He wasn't careless. Kakashi noticed Iruka staring at him curiously as he wound the chakra wire into a coil around his hand, and the Jounin shrugged, casually scratching the back of his head.

"Aah, well, I was threatened by this Chuunin, and…"

Iruka laughed and tucked the materials for the trap away in his pack. Kakashi tilted his head to the side slightly and contemplated the brown-haired man. He'd assumed that the threat of stringing him up was all bluster, and it both amused and intrigued him that the teacher had been prepared to go through with it. It made him wonder what things would've been like if he hadn't shown up on time. The teacher's smile was slightly smug, and that made Kakashi suddenly realize that his plan had backfired. Apart from the initial shock, the Chuunin wasn't at all unbalanced by his showing up on time. If anything, the man was happy about it, and that made Kakashi wonder if the threat hadn't just been another trap – one even more subtle than the one that had been on the floor.

"Maa, Iruka-sensei. How did you get to be so good with traps?" Kakashi asked. The Chuunin blushed and rubbed at the scar crossing his nose in a gesture that was quickly becoming all too familiar to the Copy Nin. Kakashi closed his eye briefly to block it out, but that only emphasized his other senses, and the last thing he needed was to focus even more on the man's scent. Kakashi realized somewhat ruefully that when he went back to his apartment that night, he'd smell like the teacher. Again. He opened his eye to find the man still blushing.

"Chalk it up to a misspent youth?" Iruka said hopefully. Kakashi raised a brow and his lips quirked beneath his mask.

"Oh?" Kakashi said. Iruka hesitated as if he didn't want to answer, then nodded.

"I was a bit of a prankster as a kid. After I got out of the Academy, I didn't have the opportunity to pull as many pranks anymore, so I focused all of that energy into working on traps. At the core, they're really the same thing… one is just mean to embarrass, while the other is meant to detain." Iruka looked a bit nervous and Kakashi knew that there was more behind the story, but he didn't press. The Chuunin's body language coincided with what Tsunade had implied about the man's unwillingness to socialize about anything too personal – he was even now deliberately not making eye contact, and his weight shifted from foot to sandaled foot uneasily. If he pushed too far, he could make the teacher run, and that'd make the entire mission all the much harder. Kakashi looked around for a distraction, and his eyes lit on the copy book.

"Do you always do your grading in the Mission Room, Iruka-sensei?" The pony-tailed man seemed to relax at that, and he smiled a small, grateful smile, obviously seeing the distraction for what it was.

"Only when things are slow," the Chuunin replied, and Kakashi suddenly grinned.

"Is that why you're always so hard on mission reports?" Kakashi asked, and the Chuunin snorted.

"Hardly. If I held you lot to the same standards as my students, I'd never accept a report. Especially not one of yours," Iruka said.

"Maa, Sensei, my reports aren't that bad…"

"You're right. They're worse. And you still need to fill one out for the last mission you were on."

Kakashi sighed and Iruka laughed. The dark-haired man gathered up the copybooks spread across the desk and tucked them into a satchel, then slung it over his shoulder.

"Ready to go, Kakashi-san?" The Chuunin asked, and Kakashi nodded. Iruka walked out the door and Kakashi followed behind him.

***

"Iruka-sensei! It's good to see you again." The old woman beamed at the Chuunin, who was blushing slightly and looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Thank you, obaa-san. I'm sorry that I haven't stopped by recently…" he explained, and the woman waved her hand in the air to dismiss the topic.

"It's nothing. Would you like your usual table? It's free tonight," she said, and if anything, Iruka looked more uncomfortable.

"Actually, I have a friend with me tonight…" His voice was low, but the implication was clear, and it made Kakashi raise an eyebrow. Apparently Tsunade hadn't been joking when she'd said the man was nearly as bad as him. The woman looked at him for a moment, stunned, then her wrinkled face broke into an impossibly large smile.

"Of course! Of course! Follow me, this way, this way." The woman hobbled off into the smoke of the restaurant, and Kakashi followed behind the Chuunin, feeling somewhat bemused by the entire ordeal. The restaurant wasn't one that he'd been to before, but it was an obvious choice for shinobi – quiet, with more booths than tables, and enough security in the thick walls to be reassuring without feeling stifling. The old woman kept up a string of chatter as she walked, and stayed even after they were finally seated, alternately fussing over Iruka and beaming at Kakashi. The teacher seemed rather helpless with the whole situation, and Kakashi finally interrupted.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but could we possibly something to drink? I know that Iruka-sensei is tired after his long day, and I'm certain that he'd feel much better after a cup or two of sake," Kakashi said smoothly. The woman blushed at him and immediately left to fetch the order. She set the small bottle down on the table along with the cups, and cast a curious glance at Kakashi.

"Do you know what you'd like to eat?"

Kakashi hesitated for a moment, and Iruka suddenly smiled at him.

"The tempura here is really good."

Kakashi grimaced beneath his mask and shook his head. He thought for a moment.

"Something with vegetables. Lots of them," he said, and Iruka nodded, then leaned over to whisper his order to the old woman. She smiled and nodded, then disappeared back into the kitchen. As soon as she was out of sight Iruka breathed a sigh of relief and slumped down in his seat.

"Thank you for doing that. I didn't think I was ever going to get rid of her," he said. Kakashi grinned.

"Do you get that a lot?" he asked, and Iruka rolled his eyes.

"You have no idea. The sweet little bachelor teacher, all by himself with no women in sight… it brings out the protective instincts of every female I meet. I get coddled more than some of my students."

Kakashi laughed at the obvious distress in the teacher's voice.

"How long has it been going on?" he asked, a note of curiosity in his voice. Iruka pondered the question for a moment, then shrugged.

"Ever since I was a kid, really. It's just gotten worse as I've gotten older."

"Hmm. I would've thought it'd be the opposite. After all, a grown man is less appealing than a perfect little angel."

Iruka poured himself a cup of the sake and took a long sip of it before answering. "That's assuming I was a perfect little angel, Kakashi-san. I already told you that I was a prankster when I was younger."

"Maa, Sensei, you can't have been all that bad…" Iruka snorted and took another sip of his sake, then murmured appreciatively. Kakashi poured a cup for himself and sipped it through his mask. It was good, but not as good as the Hokage's personal supply.

"I did things that you wouldn't believe, Kakashi-san," the teacher said with a quiet confidence and almost mirth in his voice that backed it up.

"Oh? Like what?"

Iruka's eyes narrowed slightly and he leaned in, lips curving up in a devilish smirk.

"Remember that time ten years ago when the Hokage tripled the ANBU guard on the tower for six months?"

Kakashi blinked and stared at the man – the normally innocent, unassuming man – sitting across from him.

"But that was because of theft…"

Iruka shook his head back and forth slowly, eyes glittering with barely suppressed mirth.

"Did you ever ask him what was being stolen?"

Kakashi thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. He'd been in ANBU at the time, but they'd just accepted the extra guard detail as a normal occurrence. Iruka leaned back in the booth and smirked, then poured another cup of sake and downed half of it in one gulp.

"His clothes."

Kakashi blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me right the first time, Kakashi-san."

"But that would mean…" Breaking into the Hokage's personal rooms, a far harder task than simply making it into the tower in the first place. Slipping past multiple squads of ANBU guards, disarming top-level traps… "You didn't."

Iruka shrugged and laughed. "Did."

"But why?"

"It was fun?"

Kakashi stared at the man sitting across from him and laughed suddenly and honestly for the first time he could remember in the past sixth months. It wasn't the soft chuckle that he usually used, the social fallacy that was easy to hide behind – it was a short, loud, barking laugh more suited to one of his ninken than a human.

"You can't be serious."

"I am. Absolutely."

"For six months?"

Iruka grinned. "I stopped after the fourth. It took him two months to get over the paranoia."

Kakashi shook his head disbelievingly.

"You must've been a terror."

Iruka nodded happily, and filled up his sake cup again, reminding Kakashi of his own drink. The Copy Nin took another sip, then tilted his head to the side and looked at the Chuunin as if he were a puzzle that didn't quite fit together – because in his mind, that was exactly what the Chuunin was.

"So, were you worse than Naruto?"

Iruka thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Probably not. I never painted the Hokage monument, after all. But I did manage to drive two teachers into retirement."

Kakashi chuckled. "Sounds like you and the brat are more alike than you'd like to admit."

"Mmm." Suddenly serious, the teacher stared down into his drink. When he spoke up again, it was in a quiet, almost lost voice. "You're right. And it was for the same reasons, too. I just wished I'd realized it before Mizuki-" Iruka stopped himself and his hand tensed on the sake cup.

Kakashi's mind filled in the rest. He'd just seen the report on the fight, and had heard a butchered version of it from Naruto himself. The perfect memory of the Sharingan had etched an image of the teacher's back into his mind, bisected by an enormous, angry red scar. The picture had been obviously taken only moments after the surgery had finished, and was accompanied by a full medical report. The teacher had been centimeters away from being permanently paralyzed, and even after that he'd continue to fight to protect the bearer of the same demon fox who'd killed his family – the same boy who he spoke of now with a curious mixture of pride, pain, and longing.

Acting purely on instinct, Kakashi reached out and took the teacher's hand in his, squeezing it gently. As he remembered, the skin was slightly cool beneath his fingers, and Kakashi looked down at their joined hands. Unlike his own fingers, which were thin and nearly skeletal, the Chuunin's hands were thick and healthy, crisscrossed with thin, fine scars from chakra wire. Kakashi idly rubbed his thumb over the teacher's knuckles, marveling at the difference in texture and color. Where he was pale, the other was dark, and the honey-colored skin felt smooth and surprisingly silky beneath fingertips scarred from kunai and summoning jutsus. Kakashi only looked up when the Chuunin coughed, and when he saw the hotly blushing face, he immediately dropped the man's hand. He hadn't even realized that he'd reached for it, much less held it for that long.

"Sorry Sensei, I was just trying to-"

If anything, the blush intensified.

"Don't worry about it, Kakashi-san. I appreciate the thought."

The two men smiled awkwardly at one another, and were both relieved when the food arrived. Kakashi wrinkled his nose at the Chuunin's tempura.

"Ugh. How can you eat that stuff?"

"Eh? It's good. Here, try a bite." Iruka pushed a chunk of the greasy stuff onto the edge of Kakashi's plate, where the Copy Nin stared at it and grimaced.

"Now my food's contaminated."

"It's not that bad, Kakashi-san. Here, see?" Iruka picked up another piece of the tempura and popped it between his lips. His eyes drifted closed and he made appreciative murmuring sounds, chewing slowly. Kakashi shuddered.

"Gross."

Iruka's eyes flew open, and he laughed. "I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"That you were just like my students," Iruka said. Kakashi snorted at being compared to a horde of pre-Gennin, but if anything, the snort only made the teacher laugh harder.

"Iruka-sensei, I believe that's the second time tonight that you've compared me to a child," Kakashi chided.

"Can you blame me when it fits you so well?" Iruka teased.

"Exactly how do I resemble a twelve-year-old?" Kakashi asked grumpily.

Iruka grinned suddenly. "Well, I was thinking more like eight…"

Kakashi glared at the man, who smiled back, unrepentant. Kakashi broke his chopsticks open as if preparing to eat, and picked up a thin slice of carrot. He considered it for a moment, then looked at the teacher, who was studiously examining his own meal. After a millisecond of calculating trajectory and missile weight, Kakashi let fly with the improvised shuriken. He was only mildly surprised when the Chuunin effortlessly caught it between his own chopsticks, then indignant when the man popped the vegetable into his mouth.

"Mmm. Very good. Thank you for sharing, Kakashi-san," Iruka said. Kakashi scowled at him.

"I wanted that carrot." Even to his own ears, his voice was petulant. Iruka laughed and shrugged.

"Shouldn't have thrown it, then."

Kakashi sighed at the teacher and picked up another carrot. He sniffed at it carefully, and eyed the teacher until the man huffed and looked away. Kakashi swiftly pulled his mask down and ate the carrot in a single movement. The most insulting part of it all? The teacher was right. It WAS good. Iruka carefully kept his eyes fixed on a point far away from Kakashi as they ate, and Kakashi felt a surge of anger mixed with grudging appreciation. He couldn't put his finger on why the Chuunin's politeness annoyed him, but it did. After half of his meal and another cup of sake, Kakashi spoke up.

"So, other than throwing food and calling things gross, how do I resemble your students?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka slowly turned to look at him, giving him plenty of time to pull his mask up, just in case. The man's brown eyes were filled with amusement, and an idle part of Kakashi's mind registered that it looked good on him – much better than the worry he'd seen directed at him too many times.

"Well, there's the bad handwriting, the general lack of punctuality, the stubbornness, the pride, the inability to take care of yourself – and before you argue that one, please consider how many times I've found you passed out over the past two weeks – and then…"

"I get it, I get it. I'm five," Kakashi grumbled. Iruka smiled at him cheekily.

"Actually, Kakashi-san, I think we agreed that you were eight."

"If I'm so childish, why have dinner with me?" Kakashi asked, and Iruka's smile slipped a little, becoming slightly wistful.

"Because I've always had a soft spot for children, Kakashi-san," the Chuunin said, and Kakashi glanced away. They finished the rest of the meal without much conversation, but the silence wasn't a bad one – it was comfortable. At the end of it, Iruka took out his wallet, and Kakashi stopped him with a gentle pressure on his wrist.

"If you do that, Iruka-sensei, I'll owe you a meal," he said, smiling slightly beneath his mask. Iruka looked startled at first, then smiled back.

"Then I guess you owe me a meal, Kakashi-san," he said, and the Copy Nin let go of his wrist. Iruka paid quietly, though the old woman cast more than a few curious glances at the two men as they walked out of the restaurant together.

"Well then, I guess this is goodnight, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi said, tilting his head back slightly to look up at the stars. He heard more than saw the Chuunin's nod of agreement.

"I enjoyed it, Kakashi-san. Really." The last word was added on as a whisper, and Kakashi was mostly sure that he wasn't supposed to hear it. He nodded at the teacher and disappeared into the shadows. It was only after he was already back in his apartment, staring at his ceiling instead of the star-dotted sky, that he remembered the dinner had been a mission. That made him wonder if the enjoyment was because he'd gotten closer to the teacher and thus closer to his goal, or if it could be attributed to the sake. Or – and the prospect was frightening – if he'd just genuinely enjoyed the Chuunin's company.

Kakashi sighed and unconsciously rubbed his fingers together, remembering the feel of the other man's skin. There was a very small part of him – the part that was reveling in the teacher's scent being in his apartment once again, covering his clothes, sticking to his body – that almost wished it hadn't been a mission, and that he could've been making friends with this strange, multi-faceted man for real.

* * *

(A/N): Like? Hate? Generally indifferent to? Review and let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

The mission room was full again, and Kakashi looked over it with a lazy, bored eye. Too many shinobi were gathered around the desk for him to see who was manning it, so he slipped into one of the lines and studiously ignored everyone in favor of reading his book. After fifteen minutes of waiting, he got close enough to see that the Chuunin woman from the other day was there, along with two men he didn't recognize. The Copy Nin shrugged and turned to walk away, but was stopped by a man with honey-colored hair.

"Headed out already, Kakashi-san?" Genma asked, and Kakashi shrugged.

"Maybe. Why?"

Genma shrugged. "Seemed like you were looking for someone."

Kakashi considered him for a moment over the edge of his book. The tokubetsu Jounin had a reputation for gossip, and it was possible that he'd have some idea where he could find a certain Chuunin – he had dinner plans to make, after all.

"I was looking for Umino Iruka," Kakashi said, and Genma let out a low whistle.

"Iruka-sensei? THE Iruka-sensei?" he asked, voice tinged with more than a little awe and fear. Kakashi raised a brow at the man, who was looking at him with an expression that could only be described as disbelieving.

"Something wrong with that?" Kakashi couldn't quite keep the note of irritation out of his voice, and the tokubetsu Jounin stiffened a little.

"Not really. It's just – if you're sniffing around for what I think you're sniffing around for, you've got the wrong guy." Genma sounded slightly nervous, and Kakashi found that intriguing.

"Oh?"

Genma nodded, and leaned in, lowering his voice. "Trust me. You don't want to go there. After what he did to my senbon…" Genma's eyes went dark as he apparently slipped into an unpleasant memory. When a heavy hand landed on his shoulder, he nearly jumped out of his skin, and whirled around to face a glaring Raido. Kakashi watched with amusement.

"What kind of stories are you spreading this time, Genma?" the heavily scarred man asked. Genma adopted an expression that would've been more at home on a puppy.

"Nothing really," he said. Raido looked skeptical.

"Uh huh. So you just happened to run into Kakashi-san on his way out. You weren't interrogating him at all. And you certainly weren't hunting for gossip," Raido said. Genma whined.

"But- but- he's trying to date Iruka-sensei!"

At that, Raido buried his face in his hands.

"Please God, tell me you didn't tell the senbon story again."

"But they were flavored! All of them! All differently! I didn't know if I'd get grape or barbeque next! It drove me crazy!" Genma yelled.

"You deserved it."

"I did not! All I did was ask him out."

"Genma, saying 'Hey Sensei, I bet that desk would look better if I was fucking you on top of it, wanna try it out?' is not asking someone out. It's sexual harassment," Raido told him. Genma pouted.

"But-"

"No buts. If Kakashi-san is interested in Iruka-sensei in that way, what you should do is smile and wish him good luck. Not try to frighten him away."

"But he's straight!" By this point Genma sounded like a petulant child, and Raido pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"Turning you down does not automatically make someone straight," Raido informed him. Genma looked mutinous, but Raido ignored him to instead focus on Kakashi.

"So. You're interested in Iruka-sensei?" he asked. The Copy Nin shrugged.

"Yes, but not in the way you're thinking," Kakashi said. Raido nodded.

"He's probably still at the Academy now. If you head out now, you'll probably get there before lunch," Raido told him. Kakashi nodded and turned to leave when he heard Raido call his name. He turned and raised a brow, waiting.

"He likes beef ramen," he said, and Kakashi nodded again before heading off to pick up lunch.

***

Iruka was good with children. Somehow, Kakashi knew he shouldn't have been surprised by it – after all, the man was a teacher. It was hard to reconcile, though, with the bursts of temper and pure mischief he'd seen from the Chuunin. The man seemed entirely too volatile to be a teacher without killing – or at the very least, strangling – one of the horde of pre-Gennin brats currently sitting in his classroom. Sure, they may have seemed innocent on the surface, but Kakashi'd had too much experience with Sakura's dual personality to believe the sweet smiles.

Apparently, Iruka had had the same experiences, because he scowled at the class and quickly barked off of a threat of a quiz if they didn't behave. The smiles slipped into sullen frowns, and Kakashi saw a slingshot slip underneath a desk, where it couldn't launch the loaded spitball at the Chuunin. Iruka turned back to the lecture, and when the sighs of boredom turned into sleepy yawns, he stopped and looked at his class. Suddenly he grinned, and the children awake enough to see that grin perked up.

"You're right. This is boring. Who wants to go have weapons practice instead?" Iruka asked, and the cheers were nearly deafening.

Unfortunately, weapons practice was apparently held outside, dangerously near the tree in which Kakashi had been hiding. He shifted uncomfortably and wondered if he should use some kind of genjustsu to hide his presence, then decided against it and focused on regulating his breathing and blending in to his surroundings. It seemed to work at first, because Iruka focused on giving a short speech about proper shuriken usage – then one of the aforementioned weapons came suddenly speeding at Kakashi's head.

The Jounin reflexively caught the small missile, then tensed when he realized what he'd done. The lack of a thunk into wood had given his position away as surely as if he'd announced his presence. Kakashi set the bag down in the branches and, with a sigh, dropped down from the tree to see Iruka glaring at him. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Um, hello, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi asked, and Iruka sniffed, then turned to look at his class.

"Alright, kids! I'm sure that you've heard of Kakashi-sensei before, right?" Iruka asked with a grin, carefully stressing the title. Kakashi shot him a look that clearly said 'I'm going to kill you for this later' as thirty mouths dropped open and sixty beady little eyes focused on his masked face. One of the children flashed a grin and leaned back, pointing at him.

"Hey, I know you! You're the guy who teaches Naruto-niisan!"

Kakashi sighed and scratched the back of his head. He'd been identified as many things before – Sharingan no Kakashi, the Copy Nin, the son of the White Fang – but this was the first time he'd been recognized for teaching a fashion-impaired brat.

"Ah, yeah. I guess," Kakashi said, and the kid drew himself up further.

"I'm going to be the next Hokage! Well, after Naruto-niisan."

Kakashi stared at the brat, eye flickering to take in the children flanking him. One had a drippy nose and the other, a girl, had spiky orange hair pulled up into pig-tails that made his own gravity-defying hair look positively normal. They were nodding in concert with everything the goggle-wearing boy was saying, and Kakashi had a brief mental image of Naruto at the same age, with Sakura and Sasuke actually agreeing with him instead of calling him an idiot. A shudder went down his spine, and Iruka clapped his hands to draw attention to himself.

"That's right, Konohamaru-kun. Kakashi-sensei is Naruto's teacher. He's also one of the finest Jounin in all of Konoha, and today, as a special treat, he's going to be helping us learn how to throw shuriken!"

Kakashi looked at the tanned man skeptically. "Um, Iruka-sensei, I'm not sure-"

Iruka turned to look at him, and his smile was frightening. "I'm sure you'll do fine, Kakashi-sensei. After that incident with the carrot, I'm assured of your skills with small projectiles."

Kakashi gulped, and Iruka transferred his glare to the children.

"Now class. The chance to get taught by an elite Jounin isn't one that comes along every day, especially not one of Kakashi-san's caliber. I'm sure that you all want a chance to get taught by one of Konoha's greatest shinobi, don't you?" Iruka said. Most of the class chimed their agreement, but some still looked skeptical, especially Konohamaru. Iruka looked at his raised hand for a moment, then nodded.

"Yes, Konohamaru-kun?"

The boy didn't look at his teacher, instead choosing to glare at the Copy Nin. "Are you really as good as Iruka-sensei says you are?" he asked disbelievingly. Somewhat bemused, Kakashi nodded.

"Prove it!" Konohamaru said, crossing his arms over his chest. Kakashi glanced at Iruka, who nodded slightly, then shrugged. It wasn't like he had anything better to do. He pulled five shuriken out of his weapon's pouch and started them spinning on his fingers, deliberately keeping it slow enough so that the child's eyes could follow the movement. When Konohamaru had almost fallen into a trance, Kaakshi let the missiles fly all at once. The breeze from the shuriken stirred the boy's hair, and the weapons embedded themselves in the tree behind him with a satisfying thunk. The boy blinked, then turned to look behind him, and saw the outline of his spiky hair perfectly traced by the shuriken currently stuck in the wood. His eyes grew wide and for a second Kakashi thought he'd start crying, but then he broke into an enormous grin.

"Cool!"

After that Kakashi had the attention of the entire class, most of whom were staring at him with thinly-disguised hero worship. He sighed, threw a baleful glance at Iruka, and drew another shuriken from his pouch.

"Alright. Who can tell me about the basics of throwing shuriken?"

A little Hyuuga girl raised her hand, and Kakashi nodded at her.

"It's all a matter of technique. You have to be careful about how you hold it, and let go when the balance is just right. You shouldn't throw it too hard," she said, and Kakashi nodded again. It was fairly similar to what Iruka had already told the children, and he fell into repeating the rest of the dark-haired teacher's lecture almost automatically. The theory behind weapons applications was generally the same across the board, and despite Iruka's promise of a special lecture, what he told the students was probably exactly what they would've heard from their normal teacher. Despite that, they hung on to his every word.

When it came time for actual practice, Kakashi gained a whole new respect for Iruka. More than one child attempted his trick with multiple shuriken, but it was only after Konohamaru tried for four at once that Iruka started shouting. He firmly banned all use of multiple weapons, and the class looked mutinous until Kakashi stepped in.

"He's right. You need to fully master using one shuriken at a time before you can add on more. Even I don't usually use more than three at a time." The explanation seemed to mollify them slightly, and practice started back up again, though with considerably less misguided shuriken this time. Iruka generally stayed back and Kakashi glanced at him before going through the groups, stopping here and there to correct a pose or demonstrate the proper grip. After an hour had passed, most of the students were at least somewhere near the target, and when Iruka called for a lunch break, there were considerable groans.

"Don't worry, kids. I promise Kakashi-sensei will come back to teach you more at another time. Won't you, Kakashi-sensei." It wasn't a question, but Kakashi nodded his assent anyway, all the while trying to conceive of some way to get away with never teaching the brats again. He'd thought it was hard to deal with his three, but they'd already been Genin, with at least a modicum of skill and discipline. These…children…were completely wild, and Kakashi wondered more than a little about the sanity of allowing them anywhere near weapons. The children seemed mollified by Iruka's promise and Kakashi's apparent assent, and they ran off to the classroom to gather their lunches. Iruka grabbed Konohamaru by the back of the collar as he dashed by, and stuck out his free hand.

"Give them. Now," Iruka said, and Konohamaru rolled his eyes before digging a variety of shuriken out of his clothes and placing them in the outstretched palm of his teacher. Iruka set him back down and Konohamaru stuck his tongue out at him, then turned to Kakashi.

"I hope you come back soon, Kakashi-sensei. You're a way better teacher than Iruka-sensei," he sniffed. His two goons nodded in agreement, then all three left. Kakashi was stunned for a moment, then he glanced at Iruka out of the corner of his eye, worried about the Chuunin's reaction to the callous statement. To his surprise, the younger man was barely holding back a laugh.

"Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi couldn't keep the concern out of his voice or off of his face, and at that, Iruka stopped trying to hold it back and burst into laughter. Kakashi scowled at him.

"I didn't tell them anything you wouldn't have," the Jounin said, and at that, Iruka started laughing harder. He leaned back against the tree Kakashi had been hiding in and covered his face with his hands until the laughter subsided. The teacher looked at Kakashi with a grin, and Kakashi felt his own lips twitch slightly in response.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-san, but that's what makes it so funny," Iruka explained. Kakashi paused for a moment, then noticed the slightly mischievous tint to the grin Iruka was wearing, and his eye grew wide.

"You little… you planned this, didn't you?" Kakashi asked, and Iruka held his hands up in the air as if to say 'not me!'

"Kakashi-san, be reasonable. How could I have known that you'd be spying on my class today?" he said. Kakashi narrowed his eye at him.

"That didn't stop you from taking shameless advantage of it. You knew how they'd react."

Iruka grinned and shrugged, unrepentant. "So what if I did? It got them to learn the lesson, didn't it?"

Kakashi shook his head. "You could've just taught them yourself. They would've learned the same things."

Iruka's smile grew. "Ah, but I am not the great Hatake Kakashi."

Kakashi snorted and shook his head again. He'd been duped. Completely and utterly duped, and by a Chuunin no less. The little brat had planned the entire thing, from hyping him up to the kids to the demonstration with the shuriken to Kakashi teaching the exact same thing the Chuunin would've in the first place.

"You, Iruka-sensei, are manipulative."

Iruka smiled brightly. "I know. Isn't it great?"

Kakashi tried to keep his glare in place, he really did. But it was hard when he was faced with sparkling brown eyes and that grin, and eventually he let the glare slide away, and ended up chuckling softly instead.

"Yeah. It is."

They looked at each other for a moment, then Iruka glanced away, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"So. Ah. Why were you here?"

Kakashi blinked, then glanced up at the tree.

"Ah yeah. Right. I, ah, brought you lunch," he explained sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head. Iruka looked at him in surprise, and Kakashi shrugged. The Chuunin's brows drew together slightly, as if he wanted to question it, but he didn't. Kakashi waited for a moment, and when the teacher didn't say anything, Kakashi climbed the tree and grabbed the bag still sitting there. He dropped down effortlessly beside the teacher, and held the bag out. Iruka hesitated for a moment then took it. Their fingers brushed slightly, and Kakashi held his muscles tense to make certain he wouldn't flinch at the contact – or, even more likely, lean into it. Iruka looked embarrassed for a moment, then glanced down into the bag.

"You brought me ramen?"

Kakashi rubbed at his ear.

"Eh, well…"

Iruka sunk down to the ground and pulled the insulated bowls out. He handed one to Kakashi then opened the other, inhaling the steam and sighing contentedly.

"Thank you. This is exactly what I needed," Iruka said. Kakashi held his own bowl awkwardly for a minute, then followed the teacher's lead, opening it and starting to eat. Iruka finished the lunch with the speed that only comes from hunger, then leaned back against the tree with a sigh. Kakashi glanced over at him, and Iruka's lips suddenly quirked up in a smile.

"So. Are you planning to kill me for making you teach the kids?"

Kakashi frowned slightly beneath his mask and tilted his head to the side as if considering it.

"Maybe. It depends on if you do it again," he said. Iruka laughed.

"I probably will," he said, and Kakashi shrugged.

"Maa. Can't be worse than Naruto," he said, and Iruka snorted.

"Obviously you haven't met Konohamaru before today," he said.

"I'll live, Sensei," he said. Iruka looked at him consideringly for a moment.

"Are you busy tonight?" he asked. Kakashi shook his head, and the teacher smiled.

"Come by my place for dinner. I get off work at eight," he invited. Kakashi looked at him for a moment.

"I thought it was my turn next?" he questioned, and Iruka shrugged.

"I figure the lesson and the lunch made up for it. Besides, don't you think it's about time we stopped counting?" the Chuunin asked, and Kakashi smiled.

"Yeah. It probably is," he said.

"So I'll see you there?" Iruka questioned, and Kakashi nodded slowly. Iruka smiled at him before tucking the empty bowls away in the bag and standing. He took the bag with him as he headed back into the classroom, and Kakashi simply sat in the grass, staring at the school. After a long while he pulled himself to his feet and headed off to the memorial stone.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

Kakashi arrived at the mission room at 7:15, and found it mostly empty except for Iruka, Genma, and Raido. He cast a glance at the two tokubetsu Jounin before stepping in front of Iruka's desk and smiling down at the teacher.

"Hello, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi said. Iruka looked up from the file he was working on and flashed him a quick grin.

"Hello, Kakashi-san. You're early," he said, and Kakashi nodded slightly, then reached inside his jacket to pull out the mission report. He held the crinkled square of paper out to the Chuunin, who looked at it cautiously.

"My mission report," Kakashi told him, and recognition flashed over Iruka's face. He took the piece of paper and gingerly unfolded it, quickly skimming the details. The teacher sighed, smoothed the paper out, and looked up at Kakashi with the patience of the long-suffering.

"If you're going to write them on the field anyway, Kakashi-san, why not turn them in on time?" Iruka asked, gesturing at the blood and dirt stains on the report. Kakashi chuckled self-consciously and scratched at the back of his head.

"Maa, if I did something like that once, then people would expect me to do it all the time, then it'd turn into people expecting me to actually be on time for things…" he let his voice trail off. Iruka laughed and smiled at him warmly.

"Well, thank you for your hard work. I still have a little bit of straightening up to do here, but then we can head out, okay?" he said. Kakashi nodded and pulled his book out, leaning a hip against the teacher's desk. He didn't make it more than halfway through the first page before he was interrupted by Genma poking Raido in the ribs and hissing something. Kakashi arched an eyebrow over his book at the man, but that only made Genma gesture all the more wildly. Iruka apparently noticed it too, because he tucked another file away and stared calmly at the tokubetsu Jounin.

"Yes, Genma?" the tone of the teacher's voice held more than a little command to it, and Genma started speaking at the rapid, desperate rate of a tattling child while Raido tried to cover his lover's mouth.

"I told him earlier, but he wouldn't listen, and then Raido said that I shouldn't say anything but then he came in here and I think that you should know that Kakashi-san is trying to get into your pants," Genma said, all in one breath. Iruka merely raised an eyebrow in return.

"Oh?"

Genma nodded eagerly. Raido sighed and looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there, and Kakashi studiously examined his book. Fortunately, Iruka's gaze remained on the tokubetsu Jounin.

"And how do you figure that, Genma-san?" Iruka asked in an eerily calm voice. Genma twitched and looked for a moment like he was thinking of actually holding his tongue – though that may have had more to do with the way Raido had suddenly stomped on his foot. Iruka intensified the glare, and Genma nearly trembled.

"Ah, well, he came in here earlier and…" the honey-haired man mumbled.

"And?" Iruka asked. Genma gulped.

"And-he-was-looking-for-you!" Genma blurted out. Iruka's brow rose further.

"So, you think that all people looking for me are trying to get into my pants, as you so eloquently put it?" Iruka asked. Genma flinched and looked down at the floor, mumbling something.

"What was that, Shiranui-san?" Iruka prompted.

"I said maybe," the tokubetsu Jounin muttered, then he pouted, though the effect was mostly lost seeing as it was aimed at the ground rather than at the teacher. Iruka sighed.

"Shiranui-san, just because you want to get into my pants doesn't automatically mean that everyone else wants to," Iruka told him with the patient tone that most people used to explain basic concepts to small children. The pout intensified.

"But- but he was looking at you! And if he's not trying to get into your pants, what is he doing here now?" Genma asked sullenly. Iruka sighed.

"Kakashi-san," and he stressed the name, "is here to turn in his mission report. After that, we're going to go have dinner."

Genma looked up at that, and his eyes flared with triumph. "See! I told you!"

Iruka sighed again, and shook his head. "I give up." He glanced at Raido, who by this point was flushed red and looked like he was trying to decide between melting into the floor and killing his boyfriend. "Raido-san? Could you please explain the difference to him, after he organizes the rest of these files, since he wasted the end of my shift with this nonsense?" he asked. Raido nodded miserably, and Iruka grabbed his bag and nodded at Kakashi.

"Ready to go?"

Kakashi slipped his book into his jacket and nodded. Iruka smiled slightly at him, and for a moment he thought that the confrontation was over with, but when Iruka passed the tokubetsu Jounin he leaned in to whisper something that Kakashi couldn't quite catch in the other man's ear. Whatever it was, it made Genma turn a dangerous shade of white, and Iruka's smile turned into a smirk as he headed out the door. Kakashi waited until they were a few blocks away before speaking up.

"What did you say to him?" Kakashi asked. Iruka glanced back at him, grinning.

"I just told him that I still remembered where to find his senbon," Iruka said smugly. Kakashi laughed, then tucked his hands in his pockets and followed after the teacher.

***

The teacher's apartment was smaller than Kakashi would've expected. He only realized when he saw the place that he'd had a half-formed view of a small house somewhere on the edge of town, with a tiny, tidy yard and a mailbox. A civilian's home. So it was with more than a little surprise that he watched the intricate hand seals Iruka flashed through before placing his hand against the door. The shock must've shown on his face, because when the teacher turned to look at him, he seemed almost bashful, and he rubbed his finger across the scar on his nose before speaking.

"Ah, it's not much, but please come in," he invited, then stepped inside himself. Kakashi followed after the teacher cautiously, eye taking in the details of the apartment. There was a small couch against one wall, and a bookshelf next to it filled with various textbooks and scrolls, but what really caught Kakashi's attention were the traps. He could count seventeen from his position in the doorway alone, and that was without including the ones Iruka had already disarmed. Some of them were simple and merely meant to hinder the opponent, but most of the others were grouped around a door leading off to the right. The traps used there were nothing short of deadly, and Kakashi tugged the hitai-ate covering his Sharingan back to get a better look at them.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen such elaborate traps, but the sheer simplicity of them was astonishing. They weren't all the type of traps that took two days to install, like Kakashi's own – though there were a fair share of that kind of trap, too. No, what Kakashi found the most impressive were the traps that could have been thrown up in minutes, but for all of that would be nearly impossible to disarm without knowing the pattern intimately. He recognized a few of them, but others he could tell were original. Kakashi let his Sharingan linger on one particularly beautiful arrangement of chakra wire before letting out a low whistle.

"Iruka-sensei. Why is this place so heavily trapped?" the Copy Nin asked, not able to keep the admiration out of his voice. Iruka turned to look at him, then blushed slightly.

"Ah…well…"

Kakashi arched an eyebrow at the teacher, not bothering to cover the Sharingan eye. To the teacher's credit he didn't look away from it, though it did seem to make him slightly nervous.

"Yes?" Kakashi prompted. Iruka sighed.

"Naruto," he murmured. Kakashi blinked.

"Naruto?"

Iruka nodded. "He… used to stay here, sometimes. Before he left," he said.

Kakashi glanced back at the traps, then tugged his hitai-ate down, content that he'd memorized them as best as he could without taking them apart. The teacher's assertion made a kind of twisted sense. Not many people would've been willing to have the demon fox container stay at their house at all. It was logical that Iruka would want some kind of protection set up, just in case Naruto slipped. And the array of traps would've been enough to slow him down, if –

"The traps aren't in the right direction to keep him in, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi said, looking back at the Chuunin. Iruka shrugged slightly.

"That's because they aren't intended to," the teacher said. Kakashi blinked.

"Why have them, then?" the Copy Nin asked.

"Because people never seemed to understand that he wasn't the damn fox, and then Akatsuki… I wanted him to feel safe here." Iruka sounded defensive.

"Why keep the traps then, after he left?" Kakashi asked, more than a little curious. Iruka sighed and looked away. When he spoke, it was softly and hesitantly, as if he wasn't quite sure of the words.

"I… I didn't want him to feel like he didn't have a home here. That I'd forgotten about him. So I let them stay up, so that… so that when he comes back, he'll know he's still welcome here," the Chuunin stated. Kakashi shook his head slightly. No matter how much time he spent with this man, it seemed like he'd never understand him. He looked at the man curiously.

"Iruka-sensei?" he asked. Iruka looked at him again, tension still showing on his face.

"Yes?"

"Why are you still a Chuunin?" Kakashi carefully made sure that nothing more than slight curiosity came through in his voice. As soon as he finished asking the question, the teacher's shoulders tensed.

"I… I'm not good at much other than traps. My chakra is low, and I'm not very good with taijutsu," he explained. There was a mechanical tinge to the words, as though Iruka had spoken them many times before, and they made Kakashi raise a brow.

"The traps alone would be enough to get you tokubetsu rank, Iruka-sensei," he said. The words made Iruka tense further.

"Maybe. I should get started on dinner now, if we want to eat before it's time for bed," Iruka said. Kakashi was tempted to press, but he let the excuse stand, knowing that it was too early to push the man further.

***

Iruka seemed to calm down slightly when he walked into the kitchen, and Kakashi watched with slight bemusement as the teacher pulled out no less than ten different types of vegetables. He hooked his thumbs in his vest and slouched against the wall, just watching the man work. There was something comfortable about the way Iruka moved – there wasn't the barely constrained physical power of Gai, or the almost preternaturally fast movements that Kakashi was unconsciously prone to. For all of that, he moved fluidly, and he gathered supplies without needing to look into the cabinets – a trait that convinced Kakashi the man cooked often. Despite the small size of what Kakashi could see of the rest of the apartment, Iruka's kitchen was full-sized with plenty of counter space. Kakashi's attention was caught by a sparkle near the window, and he tried to mentally dismantle the three interlocking traps seated there.

Kakashi was so absorbed in the activity that he almost didn't notice when Iruka threw an eggplant at him, and it was only his reflexes that made him catch the vegetable. He held it up and looked at it skeptically, then glanced over at the Chuunin, whose lips were quirked up in a grin.

"What? Did you think you were the only one who could throw food?" he asked. Kakashi shrugged.

"And you called me childish," he chided. Iruka laughed.

"Yes, well, when you spend as much time every day with children as I do, they rub off on you some," he said. Kakashi snorted.

"I don't know, Iruka-sensei. I'm tempted to think that the rubbing off is going the other way. Dipping his senbon?" Kakashi asked. Iruka grinned at him before turning back to the food.

"He deserved it. You'll find a chopping board in the third cabinet to the left, and knives are in the chopping block," he told the Jounin.

"What makes you assume that I can cook?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"You're a shinobi, Kakashi-san. I assume not that you're able to cook, but that you're capable of cutting something into small pieces," the Chuunin said. Kakashi laughed and shook his head, then pulled the cutting board out from the cabinet Iruka had indicated.

"Slices or strips?" Kakashi asked. Iruka turned around to glance at him.

"Strips. After you finish with the eggplant, you can slice the peppers as well," Iruka said. Kakashi sighed and obediently decimated the eggplant, then reached for a green pepper.

"So what are we making?" Kakashi asked, casting a wary glance at the variety of ingredients. Iruka picked up a slice of pepper and popped it into his mouth, chewing on it and closing his eyes.

"Mmm. Stir-fry," he said. Kakashi nodded. The two fell into an easy rhythm after that, with Kakashi doing most of the preparation for the meal while Iruka started the wok heating and added the vegetables and meat to the pan. The Chuunin added a few spices to the mixture that Kakashi wouldn't have thought to associate with the dish, and when Iruka noticed his skeptical look, he laughed.

"Relax. I do know what I'm doing," he said. Kakashi sniffed.

"You eat tempura. That gives me ample reason to doubt your taste in food," the Copy Nin said. Iruka laughed and shook his head. Kakashi handed him the last few slices of onion, then pulled his gloves off and set them down on the counter. Iruka raised a brow at that, but Kakashi just shrugged and gathered up the dishes that had already been used and started scrubbing them down.

"I can get that after dinner," Iruka told him. Kakashi laughed.

"Maa, Iruka-sensei. First you invite me to dinner at your home, then you set me to work chopping vegetables for you. I think it's a little late to start playing the host."

Iruka rolled his eyes and huffed, but didn't say anything. Kakashi quickly cleaned the dishes and rinsed them off, then dried them with a fluffy towel Iruka pointed out to him. He stacked them neatly on the counter, then dried his hands off and pulled the gloves on. By the time he was finished, Iruka was pulling plates down from the cabinets and filling them with rice and the stir-fry. He handed one of the plates to the Jounin, then gestured at the small table in the corner of the kitchen.

"We can eat here if you prefer, or outside," he said. Kakashi considered it for a moment.

"Outside," he said. The Chuunin smiled and, balancing the plate carefully on one hand, headed out the window. Kakashi followed after him bemusedly, using chakra to stick to the wall, and followed Iruka up to the roof. There was a blanket already arranged there, and he cast a glance at the teacher before sitting down on it. Iruka merely shrugged at him and settled down beside him. Kakashi arranged himself so that he was facing away from the Chuunin, and pulled the mask down. The food was good, better than he would've expected.

"Told you so," Iruka murmured. Kakashi laughed.

"Am I that obvious?" he asked. Iruka nodded.

"When you're moaning with every bite, it's kind of a give away," he told the Copy Nin. Kakashi considered arguing, then decided that was wasting time that he could be spending eating. He focused on the meal and the view of Konoha below, watching as the last few workers headed home for the night. Iruka shifted beside him, and he pulled the mask up before glancing over at the man.

"What is it, Iruka-sensei?" he asked. Iruka shifted again, then sighed.

"Kakashi-san?" he asked. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow up slightly.

"Yes, Iruka-sensei?" he asked.

"…Why are you doing this?" the teacher asked. Kakashi tensed momentarily, and apparently the Chuunin felt it, because he hurried to explain himself.

"I don't mean – I just – you made it pretty clear that you didn't want anyone around. But here we are, eating together yet again, and I just wondered… why."

Kakashi sighed and set his plate down beside him, then stretched out on the blanket, looking up at the sky. He thought for a long time about how to answer. He couldn't tell the Chuunin that he'd been assigned to look after him for a mission, and he was fairly sure that pleading boredom wouldn't work. Instead, he settled on a half-truth.

"I haven't had a friend in a long time," he told the teacher. He heard a slight whisper of movement, and looked over to see the Chuunin had copied his pose, down to the hands tucked behind his head. They stayed silent for a long moment, and when Iruka spoke up, it was in a soft, almost timid voice.

"Do you think that we could be friends?" he asked. Kakashi thought for a moment before answering.

"…yes." Kakashi was surprised to hear the word come from his lips, and more surprised to realize that it was true. Iruka didn't say anything, but when Kakashi glanced over at him, he noticed that the teacher's lips were curved up in a soft smile. He looked back up at the sky and they stayed like that for awhile, then Kakashi pushed himself to his feet.

"I should be going, Iruka-sensei," he told the Chuunin. Iruka nodded and gathered the plates.

"Thank you for coming, Kakashi-san," he said politely. Kakashi hesitated, then nodded and dropped from the roof. As he walked back home, he thought about the traps, the meal, and most of all, the Chuunin.

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

_The stone walls were cold, damp, and covered in Kakashi's blood. Manacles hung against one of the walls, open now, with bits of skin sticking to the ridges of iron. A wooden chair was placed in the middle of the cell, and it was there that the Copy Nin sat. At another time, it would've been a kindness, to rest thusly, but the chair was merely a fragile frame of splinters that could hardly support his weight, and the lack of a seat made it so that the Jounin's already damaged back strained to keep him upright. Every time he swayed, his head was dragged up by the mess of silver hair, forcing his eyes to meet a cold, black gaze._

_"Where is he? Where is your comrade?" the voice asked, and Kakashi smirked. A large fist slammed into his jaw, right over the old break, but the Copy Nin didn't wince. Instead his smirk grew, and he let the blood rapidly filling his mouth pool underneath his tongue before spitting it out into the face of his torturer. That earned another blow, and the force caused the chair to break beneath the Jounin, sending shards of wood deep into his legs. After that he couldn't count the hits – they came too rapidly, too randomly, and his vision went blurry._

_Then everything shifted. The stone walls were cold, damp, and covered in blood. A wooden chair was placed in the middle of the cell, and it was there that the man sat. Kakashi strolled over to him, deliberately jingling the keys resting on a ring against his thigh, just to rub in the fact that escape was so close but unreachable. The man looked up at him from furious eyes the exact shade of dark chocolate, and Kakashi felt a flash of recognition as he looked into the tanned face, eyes lingering on the scar that perfectly bisected what must've been a straight, strong nose before it'd been broken multiple times._

_The recognition turned to panic, but his body moved without consent. He asked the question mechanically, not recognizing his own voice, and the answer the dark-haired man gave was the same one that he'd given in the situation – a knowing smirk. Kakashi felt the bones crunch underneath his fist even as he tried to pull his hand back, muscles moving without his consent, and when he saw the smirk broaden and felt the wet, sticky blood hit his face, he started to panic. Desperately he tried to stop, but he couldn't – the chair shattered, just like before, but unlike Kakashi, the teacher winced and drew back._

_Seeing the younger man's fear set a mixture of twisted delight and panic coursing through Kakashi's veins, and he bent down, wrapping his fist in the grungy brown locks of hair and pulling the man's head back. He stared down into glazed chocolate eyes._

_"Answer me. Where is he?" Like before, the words came unbidden, and like before, the man refused to answer. Kakashi growled low in his throat and slammed the man's head against the wall, then slid one of the knives out of his pocket. He slipped behind the man, pressing his chest closely against the scarred back, feeling him flinch at the touch of coarse cloth on open wounds. He touched the knife against the teacher's throat._

_"Answer me, or die." He waited for a minute, but no answer came. He growled again, then drew the knife across the man's throat in one swift movement even as he tried to stop. The blood that poured out was warm and sticky, coating his hands and the knife, and the body jerked once before slumping down. Kakashi let it slide to the ground then stared at his blood-coated hands, shaking. Fighting for control of his body, he jerked his head to the side so that he could stare at the man's body._

_"…Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi's voice was only a whisper, nearly overcome by the sound of water dripping against the walls. The corpse didn't answer, and Kakashi started to scream. _

Kakashi woke up suddenly, scrambling to escape the covers. He landed on his feet beside the bed, crouched down, kunai already in hand before his mind registered the fact that it'd been another dream. He took a deep, steadying breath and set the kunai down, then sank to his knees on the floor. It'd been almost a week since the last real nightmare, and he'd started to think that maybe they weren't coming back - that the memory of soft, cool hands would continue to keep them at bay. Apparently that'd been a fantasy. The Copy Nin carefully avoided thinking about the content of the dream as he pulled himself to his feet and stumbled into the bathroom.

He turned the shower on as hot as he could stand it and stepped in without removing his clothing, letting the steaming water pound against his shirt, sticking it against his skin. He leaned forward, resting his arms against the wall and pressing his cheek against them, taking deep, shuddering breaths. The heat scalding his skin slowly started to bring him out of shock, and after the worst of it had passed, he unbuttoned his shirt with trembling hands and pulled it off. He let it fall to bottom of the shower, then slid his pants off too and lathered his hands with soap.

The soap was applied to his body roughly, too roughly, and he picked up the loofah sponge Sakura had given him for his last birthday and used it to abrade his flesh until he could no longer feel the phantom blood – could feel nothing but the too-hot water and the sting of soap in the myriad of small scratches the rough treatment caused. He rinsed the soap off then repeated the entire process again, paying careful attention to his hands, where the slick feel of the cleanser mimicked the blood all too closely. It was only when his scrubbing started removing skin that he stopped, and he slumped to his knees, water beating down on his back.

Kakashi stayed like that until the heat was gone and the water ran in ice-cold rivulets down his body. With a hand that was shaking more from the cold than the memories, he reached out to shut off the water, then wrapped a towel around his body. He scooped the clothes up underneath one arm and dropped them in the laundry basket on his way out, carefully avoiding his reflection in the mirror. In the bedroom, he dried off before casually tossing the towel over the chair – more to cover it so that he didn't have to see it than out of any desire for neatness – and pulled a uniform out of the closet. He dressed in quick, efficient movements while judging the sky outside with one eye. It was still mostly dark outside – he wouldn't have to rush, this time, to make it to the memorial.

***

There was no one at the memorial when Kakashi arrived, sky still too dark to pick out the names carved into the stone. He stood with his hands tucked into his pockets, standing silent vigil. The Jounin stayed long after the sun rose, and left only when he heard the slight stirring in the leaves that signaled another visitor coming to pay their respects. He slipped off into the forest silently, the disturbance in the air and his footprints in the soft ground the only signs he'd ever been there at all.

***

Kakashi headed for the nearest training ground and slipped easily into the pattern of movements trained into his body since childhood, effortlessly performing the katas. He sped them up until everything was a mindless blur of motion, pushing his body to the limits of speed then further, lashing out in lightning-fast kicks and breathless punches. He continued for hours, until his muscles burned and ached, seeking the balance of pain and exhaustion that would wipe the memories away. He didn't achieve it though – he never could, not outside of the field. Eventually he gave up and slumped to the ground, trembling.

After a few minutes, Kakashi heard the sound of another shinobi approaching. He tensed and reached out with his senses, focusing on the bright spot of chakra at the edge of his perception. As soon as he identified it, he flew up into the trees. Fuck. The last thing he wanted to deal with when in a mood like this was Gai. Kakashi pulled his chakra back and tried to conceal it, but knew it was already too late. Moments later Gai was standing beneath the tree Kakashi had chosen to hide in.

"My Eternal Rival!" the green-clad man shouted. Kakashi sighed and dropped down from the tree to land beside Gai.

"What is it this time, Gai?" he asked. The dark-haired man puffed his chest up and stuck out his thumb.

"I have come to challenge you in a Noble Contest, oh Rival!" he shouted, then winked, flashing a large grin. Kakashi closed his eye to block out the nausea-inducing sight.

"Not now Gai. I'm busy," Kakashi said, vaguely hoping that somehow in the past month Gai had learned how to take a hint.

"Oh, that's fine, Eternal Rival! I shall wait until you are finished with your Youthful Task, and if I do not, I shall run five hundred laps around the village!" Kakashi sighed.

"You do that, Gai. I'll be back in fifteen minutes," Kakashi lied smoothly. Gai beamed at him.

"As you say, Rival! I shall see you then!"

Kakashi nodded and slowly backed away. He waited until Gai's chakra was out of sight before starting to run, calculating his options in his mind. Gai knew most of his hiding places by now, but he was relatively sure that there was one place that the green-clad man wouldn't think to look. Even Gai wouldn't go to the Academy willingly. With any luck seeing the teacher – and, Kakashi silently added, seeing that he was alive and well – would calm him down. And if he got to bother Iruka in the process – well, that was just a fringe benefit. Grinning beneath his mask, the Copy Nin headed back into the village.

***

Half an hour later found Kakashi perched on the windowsill just outside of Iruka's classroom, watching the Chuunin teach. The day was hot enough that the window was thrown open, and he didn't have to read the tanned man's lips to hear his lecture – though that didn't make it any more interesting. Kakashi kept his chakra carefully cloaked and his nose buried in his book, though he made no attempts to hide his physical presence from the children in the room. One of them glanced in his direction and giggled. Kakashi raised one hand in a two-fingered salute, then quickly dropped away from the window when he saw Iruka turn.

When Kakashi pulled himself back up onto his perch, he saw the pony-tailed Chuunin glaring at the class. The Jounin winked deliberately at the girl who'd giggled at him, and smirked beneath his mask as her cheeks went red. The boy beside her glared at Kakashi sullenly, then nudged her side, trying to get her attention. She turned to scowl at him and hit him over the head with her book – an action that, fortunately, drew Iruka's attention away from the window.

"Moegi-chan! Why did you hit Konohamaru?" Iruka scolded. The girl colored again, and looked down at her desk shyly.

"I, um, well…" she trailed off. Iruka raised a brow, then sighed.

"I'm sure you can tell me all about it in a five hundred word essay due before class tomorrow. Can't you, Moegi-chan?" the teacher asked. The girl nodded sadly.

"Yes, Iruka-sensei…" she murmured. Iruka nodded and turned back to the chalkboard.

"Now, as you can see from the diagram here, when chakra is concentrated in the hands like so…"

Soon enough the class was half-drowsing again, and Kakashi frowned over the top of his book. Had the Academy been this boring when he'd been in it? Sure, he could see the value of the lesson – having a good basis in chakra fundamentals was necessary for learning the higher-level jutsu. And Iruka was, if nothing else, a patient and thorough teacher, carefully driving each point into his student's heads. None of that, however, made up for exactly how boring the topic was. Kakashi put his book down long enough to form a quick hand seal, then picked it back up and nodded at the clone that appeared.

The clone looked at Kakashi with a grin, then slipped into the classroom. The eyes of the students grew wide and one of them started to say something, but Kakashi held a finger up to his lips in a sign for silence. The student nodded at him and watched as the clone slipped behind the teacher. Within moments, the clone had fallen into the pattern of perfectly mimicking Iruka, following his every movement seamlessly. When Iruka gestured at the diagram on the board, the clone's hand would move as well. When he turned, the clone would slide behind him quickly enough that he couldn't catch it with his eyes.

Kakashi watched the entire ordeal with more than a bit of amusement. His clone was good. The entire thing looked more like the Nara clan's shadow jutsu than someone simply mimicking movements. Apparently the children found it funny as well, because the number of muffled giggles coming from the class now was nearly double of what it had been when Iruka'd merely been duped by the Copy Nin's disappearing act. The teacher whirled to glare at his giggling class, then stared out the window again – to find nothing. Kakashi'd already dropped out of sight. He waited for a minute, then pulled himself back up and peeked cautiously into the classroom.

Standing there was one very obviously peeved Umino Iruka, with one foot planted in the back of the Kakashi clone, who was now entangled in a mass of chakra wire. The clone looked at the original helplessly, and Iruka ruthlessly tightened his hold on the chakra wire, making the clone yelp. The Chuunin applied exactly enough pressure to cause discomfort without breaking the jutsu, and Kakashi would've admired that fact if it weren't for the death glare the teacher was currently leveling at him.

"Can I help you, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka all but growled, and Kakashi flinched. Oh shit. Not the sensei stuff again. Kakashi gulped and thought quickly, then let his visible eye curl up into a happy smile.

"Actually, yes, you can, Iruka-sensei," the Copy Nin drawled. Iruka's eyes narrowed.

"I see. And with what, exactly, was it that you needed my help?" the Chuunin snapped. Kakashi let the smile grow even more annoying.

"Well, you see, there was this old lady crossing the road who wanted me to save her kitten from a lunchbox that just happened to be in your classroom, and then the lunchbox asked me to…" Kakashi trailed off as Iruka ground his heel into the base of his clone's spine, not looking forward to when the jutsu released and that particular bit of information came back home.

"Ah. I see. And this has what, exactly, to do with interrupting my class?" Iruka asked. Kakashi shrugged and spread his hands out innocently. Iruka's eyes followed the movement, then widened. A second later he appeared directly in front of Kakashi, lunging for the orange book. Kakashi dodged, pulling the book out of his reach.

"Iruka-sensei, if you want to borrow it that badly, all you have to do is ask! I know school teachers are repressed and all that, but you don't have to be that desperate."

Iruka visibly seethed, and if Kakashi had been less of a man, he would've been worried about the likelihood of emerging from the situation with all parts intact.

"You. You. You PERVERT!"

Kakashi glanced at the book, then back at the teacher.

"Maa, sensei, it isn't that bad…"

Iruka, apparently, wasn't listening. Instead he was gesticulating wildly, and his face was a shade of red that couldn't be healthy.

"First you break into my classroom. Then you mock me in front of my students. And now you have the gall to read PORN in front of them and tell me it's NOT THAT BAD?!" Iruka shouted. Kakashi grinned back at him.

"Yes?"

Iruka seemed to deflate and dropped to the floor, conveniently landing on top of Kakashi's clone. The thing disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Iruka fell the last few inches to the ground, landing with a muffled 'oomph'. He glared at Kakashi as if the Jounin were to blame for his predicament, but the Copy Nin was busy rubbing at the base of his spine. He'd known that heel wouldn't feel good. The Chuunin closed his eyes and visibly counted to ten before sighing.

"I'll give you one more chance, Kakashi-sensei. Why. Are. You. Here."

Kakashi frowned and tucked his book away, hoping that at least removing the proof of his indiscretion would calm some of the Chuunin's homicidal rage.

"I'm hiding from Gai," Kakashi said bluntly. Iruka blinked.

"Hiding from Gai?" he asked, and Kakashi nodded. Iruka blinked again.

"Um, why?" the Chuunin asked. Kakashi waved his hand in the air.

"Eh. He challenged me. I wasn't in the mood," he said. Iruka nodded slowly.

"So… you came here. Why?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I figured he wouldn't think to look for me here."

Iruka sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe this. I absolutely cannot believe this."

Kakashi tried a charming smile on the teacher, but the effect was lost as Iruka was currently trying to pretend he didn't have eyes. "That's what friends do, right? Hide each other from over-enthusiastic Green Beasts?"

Iruka shook his head. "Of course. That's exactly what friends do…" he said. Despite the reassurance, his tone clearly showed his skepticism. Kakashi started to call him on it, but then his eyes widened and he dived into the classroom, performing a quick henge and ducking into an empty desk. Moments later Gai appeared in the window.

"Ah! Iruka-sensei! Have you seen my Eternal Rival?" Gai boomed, apparently not noticing the coils of chakra wire or the fact that the Chuunin was collapsed on the floor, half of his hair having worked its way out of his pony-tail from the way he'd been desperately tugging at it as he tried to make sense of the situation. Iruka glanced up at the green-clad man as if he couldn't believe he was really there, then the stunned expression on his face slowly slipped into a smile.

"Yes, Gai-sensei. Why yes, I have," Iruka said. The smile turned to malicious, and he stared directly at the henged Kakashi.

"Excellent! Where might I find him? We have a Youthful Challenge in which to partake!" Gai announced happily. Iruka just smiled and nodded, then pointed directly at the Copy Nin.

"He's right there, Gai-san. He just felt the need for some… remedial training. To keep from disturbing my class, he decided to use a henge to blend in. Right, Kakashi-san?" The Chuunin's voice was eerily calm, and Kakashi slipped out of the desk and undid the henge, staring at the teacher.

"I'm going to get you for this, Iruka-sensei," the Copy Nin said. Iruka smiled back at him sweetly.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. Have fun on your playdate, Kakashi-san," he said. Moments later Kakashi was being dragged out the window by an enthusiastic Gai, and Iruka was clapping his hands together to regain the attention of his understandably confused class.

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

Kakashi limped into his apartment just past dark, his attention torn between the desire to murder Gai and plans to get revenge on a certain Chuunin teacher for ratting him out. The Copy Nin stripped out of his uniform and distastefully let it slide to the ground, trying to avoid touching any more of the soaked fabric than necessary. He grimaced at the disgusting plop the uniform made when it hit the bathroom tile. A normal challenge with Gai was bad enough. Why the man had suddenly decided that seeing who could kill the most snakes in the Forest of Death was an appropriate challenge, Kakashi would never know. It wasn't the snakes that bothered him, really – it was the blood and the guts. Gai had insisted on heads as proof. Kakashi shuddered as he stepped into the shower, and swore to himself that if he ever found out who had implanted that particularly stupid idea in Gai's head, he'd make what he was planning for the green-clad man seem positively friendly.

After a hot shower and a hotter meal, Kakashi's rage had dwindled to only mildly homicidal, and the majority of it was focused on the Chuunin. Gai could be forgiven – after all, he was just being Gai. Challenging Kakashi to do idiotic and dangerous things was simply what the Green Beast did, just as the Copy Nin himself showed up late to every appointment. As much as Kakashi might dislike it, he wouldn't hold it directly against the man, no matter how tempting it seemed. The real traitor here was one blushing, smiling, scar-nosed, doe-eyed Chuunin by the name of Umino Iruka.

Kakashi was man enough to admit that he might have had something to do with the situation. He could, magnanimously, admit that his actions in the classroom had perhaps been more childish than warranted. It hadn't been his fault that the lecture was so boring, but he probably could've handled it in a better way – he could even see how sending the clone in might have been seen as mocking. If he stretched, he could even see how the porn might have bothered the teacher. There were worse things for a child to see than a crossed out circle on the back of an orange cover, in Kakashi's opinion – especially children who were training to be shinobi – but he could almost understand how to someone as prudish as the school teacher, it might've seemed out of place. But none of those things even came close to the betrayal that was handing him over to Gai.

The plan started to form when Kakashi glanced at the calendar and noticed that tomorrow was a Saturday. For a teacher like Iruka, it'd likely be the only break he got – his day to sleep in, be lazy at home, and wake up past noon. It'd be the kind of day that he reserved for running errands, or reading a book that he'd been putting off all week because he'd been too focused on work. It was an understood if unwritten rule that for Academy teachers, Saturdays were sacrosanct. As Kakashi picked up his uniform, an evil grin settled on his features. He knew exactly what to do to get his revenge.

***

Six o'clock in the morning found Hatake Kakashi, elite Jounin and Copy Nin extraordinary, standing outside Iruka's apartment. He happily rapped on the door as he'd been doing for the last fifteen minutes, altering the rhythm and intensity of the noise enough so that the teacher wouldn't be able to just block it out and go back to sleep. Five minutes later the door swung open, and Kakashi smiled happily, visible eye curving up.

"Good morning, Iruka-sensei!" Kakashi chirped. Iruka groaned and stepped back from the door, leaving it open behind him. Kakashi toed off his sandals and shut the door behind him, then glanced at the teacher. He was dressed in loose pajamas that Kakashi bemusedly noted were decorated with dolphins. The Chuunin's hair was caught in a loose ponytail at the base of his neck, and chunks of it fell down to obscure a sleep-slackened face. There were dark rings underneath his eyes that looked entirely out of place on the tan face, and his eyes held the peculiar glaze of the sleep deprived. Kakashi grinned underneath his mask. Phase one of the plan was complete. Iruka gathered enough energy to sleepily glare at the Jounin.

"What are you doing here, Kakashi-san?" Iruka grumbled, tugging the blanket that had been trailing behind him closer. Kakashi smiled brightly in return.

"Why, I'm just visiting my friend on this wonderful Saturday morning!" Kakashi said happily, making sure to stress the day. Iruka groaned slid down against the wall, burying his face in his hands.

"This is your revenge, isn't it? It is. You're going to wake me up on a Saturday, not give me any coffee, and stand there wearing that damn smile," Iruka grumbled. Kakashi chuckled softly.

"Oh, this isn't my revenge, Sensei," Kakashi said. Iruka glared at him from one bleary eye, and Kakashi grinned back, unrepentant. Iruka sighed again.

"If this isn't it, what is?" the Chuunin asked. Kakashi shrugged.

"We'll get to that later. First off, what do you have for breakfast?"

Iruka stared at him disbelievingly, and Kakashi just smiled back until the Chuunin pulled himself to his feet and stumbled into the kitchen. The first thing Iruka did when there was start the coffee going. Fifteen minutes later and after three cups of pure, unadulterated caffeine, Iruka was looking vaguely more human. Ten minutes after that, he was almost back to the Chuunin Kakashi'd grown accustomed to – if you discounted the ratty blanket and the dolphin pajamas. Kakashi didn't particularly plan to.

After he determined that the entire thing wasn't a cruel joke and that Kakashi wasn't going to leave right after Iruka fully woke up, the teacher sighed and started fixing breakfast. He tossed a few pieces of fruit to the Copy Nin and nodded toward the knives. Kakashi sighed, but obeyed. He'd need the food as much as Iruka would, and, after all, there were worse things than slicing fruit. When they'd finished eating, Iruka disappeared back into his bedroom and came out minutes later, neatly dressed and showing no sign of the fact that he'd been woken up six hours earlier than planned. Kakashi just grinned and headed for the door, Chuunin following obediently behind him.

***

Kakashi took a rambling route through the village, utilizing a combination of roadways, alleys, walls, and roofs to lead the teacher to the training ground. At first he moved slowly for a shinobi, letting Iruka get his feet beneath him, then he slowly sped it up until he was moving at the quick but sustainable speed generally used for missions. Iruka kept up with him easily – more easily than he would've expected from a desk ninja – but without the speed that was usually reserved for the Jounin ranks. He moved as a Chuunin should: efficiently, swiftly, and without wasting energy.

Once in the forest the teacher made more noise, or perhaps Kakashi could simply hear it better without the bustle of the village around them. He could hear the occasional thunk of the teacher's sandal against a branch, the soft whisper of leaves, and the displacement of air caused by their speeding figures. Kakashi suddenly darted to the right and flipped down out of the trees to land in the middle of one of the more private training grounds. Moments later the Chuunin landed beside him, and Kakashi glanced over, pleased to see that the man wasn't even out of breath. Iruka watched him with wary brown eyes, and Kakashi smiled his crinkly-eyed smile before pulling something out of his pouch and dangling it in front of the teacher's eyes.

Iruka stared at the bell disbelievingly.

"Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi smiled happily.

"Well, Iruka-sensei," and he drawled the title, "since you felt the need to inform Gai that I needed some… remedial training… I thought I'd return the favor."

The teacher gulped, and Kakashi's smile widened. This was going to be fun. He jingled the bell provocatively, watching as Iruka's eyes followed the movement. After a moment Iruka glanced away, then sighed.

"Fine. Rules?"

Kakashi paused for a moment. Rules hadn't been needed the last time that he'd done this – his Gennin team had little chance of being able to actually harm him. Iruka, however, was a Chuunin – and even though he shouldn't be able to actually defeat Kakashi, the possibility of injury for them both was very real. Kakashi tilted his head to the side slightly, regarding the teacher, then made his decision.

"No lethal traps or poisons. Anything else is allowed."

The chocolate-colored eyes flicked back to his masked face, and Kakashi could almost see the calculations flash through the Chuunin's head. Eventually he nodded.

"Fine. When?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"Now works."

He expected a nod, or some kind of other acknowledgement of the match beginning. What he got was a leg sweeping for his ankles. Kakashi leapt over the leg reflexively, and caught the fist aiming for his head. With a quick twist, he flipped the teacher, and took the millisecond of respite to hook the bell next to his kunai pouch on his leg. He slipped into a fighting stance and blocked the next few blows that the Chuunin threw, watching the man carefully. It wasn't the response that he'd expected from someone like Iruka. From what Kakashi knew of his skills, he'd do best as a long-range fighter. Kakashi dodged a kunai and effortlessly slid away from Iruka's incoming fist. The Chuunin pulled back, but not quickly enough, and Kakashi shoved the man in the back, sending him sprawling.

It didn't make sense. Iruka's taijutsu wasn't his strongest suit – the teacher hadn't been lying about that. He was good enough to be a Chuunin, but not much else. He lacked the speed that was necessary for the art, and more than that, he didn't have the ingrained reflexes necessary to be a truly capable hand-to-hand fighter. His decision to engage Kakashi head to head showed a lack of analytical skill, something that didn't match up with everything that the Jounin knew about the sensei.

Kakashi's musings were interrupted by the sudden launch of a kunai for his head, and he caught it by the handle without thinking and sent it speeding back at the Chuunin. Iruka started to dodge, but not quickly enough, and Kakashi's eye widened – he'd had no intent of injuring the teacher. He jolted forward into movement, but not quickly enough. The kunai hit Iruka directly in the shoulder, and Kakashi panicked for a moment before the teacher disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Kakashi blinked, glancing down at where the clone had stood, then he scanned the area carefully. Everything was starting to come together. Taking advantage of the fact that Kakashi had little practical knowledge of his skills, Iruka had formed a clone to initially attack. It served two purposes – the first was to test Kakashi's reflexes and see exactly how serious he was about the training, and the second was to give the real Iruka time to hide and approach the fight in the way best suited to his skills. Kakashi smiled slightly underneath his mask as he saw the slight glint of light reflecting off chakra wire in the trees at the edge of the training ground.

He picked up the discarded kunai and sent it hurtling in the opposite direction of the teacher's hiding place as a distraction, then took the opportunity to take to the trees and reappear directly above the Chuunin. As he'd half expected by this point, Iruka was already gone, but the trap he'd prepared was left behind. It wasn't one of those that he'd used in the apartment, and Kakashi took a second to admire it. It was simple and effective, and that Iruka had obviously remembered Kakashi's fascination with his traps and had deducted that the Copy Nin would've memorized them said something.

The teacher was good, but not good enough. Kakashi maintained his vantage point until he saw a sign of movement off on the other side of the field, then cloaked his chakra and silently approached. He found Iruka surrounded by another group of traps and standing with the peculiar tension of hyper-awareness to his shoulders. The Copy Nin dropped down beside him and tapped the teacher's shoulder, then grinned.

"Yo."

Iruka's eyes widened and he brought a kunai up to slash at the Jounin, but Kakashi effortlessly caught his wrist and twisted it behind his back, digging his fingers in to make the teacher drop the weapon. When the kunai clattered to the ground, Kakashi loosened his grip slightly, but he still held onto the teacher's wrist.

"Maa, Iruka-sensei, I thought you'd take this seriously. You'll need to do more than wait for me to walk into your traps if you want a chance to get the bell from me," Kakashi told him. Iruka glared at him over his shoulder, then wrenched his arm out of Kakashi's grip. Kakashi frowned – the lack of verbal response wasn't like the teacher – then his eyes widened. He was in the trees again a millisecond later, and none too soon – the net of chakra wire clipped his foot as he left, and if he hadn't realized the trap when he had, he would've been captured. He revised his opinion of Iruka again as he watched the clone dissipate, and wondered if in this entire time he'd seen the real Chuunin.

He didn't have long to wonder, though, because then Iruka was on him again, moving faster than before. Kakashi didn't have time to do more than dodge the attacks and offer an occasional counter of his own, and he came to the conclusion that this version of the teacher was the real one seconds before his fist crashed into the teacher's chest, sending him flying. The man's back hit a tree with a solid thunk, but he was up again before Kakashi could respond, pressing the Copy Nin again.

Kakashi started playing with the Chuunin in earnest at this point, pulling his own blows in favor of landing open-palmed strikes against the man's chest, back, and even occasionally his face. At any moment, Kakashi could've ended the match, and he let the Chuunin know that intimately as he dodged every taijutsu attack, avoided every ninjutsu thrown his way, slipped past every hastily thrown together hindrance of chakra wire and explosive tags.

The Jounin started to lose track of time, lost in the sheer joy of the fight. Iruka was only a Chuunin, but he was bright, and had just enough of an edge of unpredictability to make the match interesting. Kakashi dodged a water jutsu and responded with a barrage of shuriken which Iruka blocked, but with more effort than his earlier movements. The teacher was tiring. Kakashi wasn't surprised – he'd been expecting it to come earlier. As skilled as he might be, Iruka was at heart a desk ninja. He wasn't accustomed to the constant strain that missions placed on the body, the strains that training could never accurately replicate.

Determined to end it, Kakashi flashed toward the Chuunin, showing his true speed for the first time. Iruka managed to dodge, but barely, and Kakashi caught at him again – but found himself holding a log rather than the teacher. Kakashi frowned and started pursuing the man in earnest. Moments later he had the teacher pinned against a tree, glaring up at him and panting for air. Kakashi smiled down at him.

"You're good, Iruka-sensei. I'll give you that. But not quite good enough, ne?" Kakashi drawled. The only warning he had was Iruka's smirk and a slight twitch of the body beneath his own, then he was strung up from the tree, dangling in a position much like the one he'd placed Naruto in when the blonde boy had taken the same test Kakashi was administering to his teacher now. Iruka smirked at him and reached out to take the bell from Kakashi's belt, then dangled it in front of the Copy Nin's nose.

"Obviously not, Kakashi-san. You really should've realized I was herding you, you know," Iruka said. Kakashi sighed at the teacher and glared up at the trap.

"How long?" he asked curiously. Iruka shrugged.

"Since I figured you weren't going to fall for the clones."

Kakashi blinked. "So the rest of the fight?"

Iruka shrugged again, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "A distraction. After I figured out that you weren't going to attack seriously, I knew that I had a shot. My only chance was to wear us both down and hope you'd be distracted enough by finishing the fight to not notice the trap."

Kakashi shook his head slowly, and Iruka grinned in return. "Want help getting down?"

The Copy Nin stared up at his suspended ankle, then sighed.

"Yes, please."

Iruka calmly sliced the wire holding Kakashi above the ground. The Jounin flipped so that he landed on his feet, and Iruka politely handed him the bell before sinking down to the ground. Kakashi considered the sweat-soaked man for a moment before flopping down beside him, and he tucked the bell back into his pouch.

"That was supposed to be my revenge, you know," Kakashi said somewhat petulantly. Iruka rolled his eyes at him.

"I know. Want another shot?" he asked. Kakashi shook his head bemusedly. They sat like that for awhile beneath the too-hot sun, and when the teacher's breath finally steadied, Kakashi glanced over at him.

"We should head back to the village, Sensei."

Iruka groaned closed his eyes, as if not looking at Kakashi would result in the Jounin going away.

"I don't want to. It's too hot to move," Iruka mumbled. Kakashi chuckled.

"What if I told you that I know of a spring about five minutes from here, ice-cold, complete with miniature waterfall?"

Chocolate eyes flew open and Iruka regarded him hopefully.

"Are you serious?" he asked. Kakashi nodded, then paused as if to think.

"You'd have to move, though. There is walking involved, after all, and I seem to remember you saying something about not wanting to do that…"

The teacher quickly scrambled to his feet, and Kakashi grinned beneath his mask. This might not have been exactly what he'd had in mind when he'd planned his revenge, but it'd been fun nonetheless.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

The spring was much as Kakashi remembered it, even if it'd been years since he'd actually visited it. The water was pristine and clear enough so that every rock on the bottom of the spring could be counted, and the advertised miniature waterfall – around five feet in height – was still running over the boulders, though the months of dry heat had depleted it to the point where it was more of a trickle than anything. Kakashi glanced back at Iruka and wasn't surprised to see the man's brown eyes widened in appreciation.

"This place is gorgeous," Iruka said. Kakashi smiled slightly underneath his mask.

"Worth the walk?" he asked. Iruka nodded emphatically.

"Worth everything. If letting you beat me up in a spar is all I have to do to get you to show me places like this, we might have to do it more often," the Chuunin said. Kakashi laughed, and nodded at the water.

"Go ahead. Just so you know though, it's cold."

Iruka nodded at him and hesitated a moment, then started to undress. He pulled of his flak jacket first and then paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before dragging the loose standard-issue shirt up over his head. The Chuunin looked down and fiddled with the zipper on his jacket before folding it neatly, if slowly, his fingers lingering on the fabric as if he didn't want to look up. Kakashi took advantage of the opportunity to let his eye linger over the younger man's build. As he'd expected, the teacher's frame was lither than it appeared beneath the bulky clothing, though he was still built more solidly than the Copy Nin himself. Kakashi would be willing to bet that there was no more than a few pounds of difference between them, but Iruka had the solid, healthy type of muscle that was packed on by healthy eating and moderate training. Kakashi's own build was denser, with the rangy, lean kind of muscle put on through years of fieldwork. The teacher finally leaned down to place his folded jacket and shirt on the ground, then turned, exposing his back to the Jounin.

Kakashi watched the smooth play of muscle beneath Iruka's bronze skin, noting absently that the tan seemed to be natural. Somehow the teacher didn't strike him as the type to sunbathe in the nude, and the caramel color extended all the way down to what Kakashi could see of Iruka's hips. When Iruka's thumbs hooked in the waistband of his pants, Kakashi's gaze fixed on them for a moment before he forcefully pulled it up to Iruka's back. It was as solidly muscled as the rest of the teacher's body, but what held Kakashi's attention was the large scar that ran diagonally between his shoulder blades. It had healed well – no longer was the flesh the angry red he'd seen in the photograph in Iruka's file. Instead it was a dark, jagged line that declared more than any hitai-ate the man's loyalty and dedication to his village and his students.

The Jounin's eye remained fixed on the scar as Iruka tugged his pants down, watching it shift and contort against the tanned skin. He remembered the touch of sadness in the teacher's eyes when he'd spoken of the betrayal, and how Iruka had hesitated before pulling the shirt off. When the teacher glanced over his shoulder at the Copy Nin, slight uncertainty showing on his face, Kakashi had to fight the desire to step behind him and ghost his fingertips over the scar. He wondered for a brief moment how the raised ridge of tissue would feel against his skin, and how Iruka would react. Would it be as sensitive as his own scars, or would Iruka barely feel the touch? He bit his bottom lip beneath the mask when Iruka looked away from him, and watched the teacher slowly fold the pants and set them down beside the rest of the uniform.

Iruka looked good in only boxers. The thought flittered through Kakashi's mind and he tried hard to clamp down on it, but it was hard to deny when he was faced with the mostly undressed teacher. Over the latticework of old scars, most thin and silvery, none as large as the one on Iruka's back, he could see bruises beginning to form from their spar. The majority were small, but the one on his chest had already started to turn a deep purple, and if he watched carefully enough he could see the slight stiffness in the way the teacher moved. Without really thinking about it Kakashi stepped forward and touched the tips of his fingers against the bruise.

The teacher's skin was warm, as warm as he would've expected in the heat, and slightly slippery from sweat. Kakashi glanced down at his fingers against the man's chest and took a deep breath, inhaling the Chuunin's scent. The chalk and ink were still there, though not as strong as they usually were, and the slight musk that he'd come to associate as Iruka's own smell was more prominent. He let his fingers trail softly over the bruise, then glanced up to see a pair of chocolate brown eyes cautiously watching his every movement. He paused and licked his lips beneath the mask before speaking gruffly.

"Just wanted to see if it was as bad as it looked," Kakashi said, and he could feel a bit of the tension leave Iruka's body. Before the teacher could say anything, the Copy Nin focused, and his fingers started to glow green. He carefully fed the chakra into the teacher's body, keeping the touch lighter and more gentle than what he generally used for field healing. The desire to remove the mark wasn't something that he could easily explain. Iruka would've been able to walk, had managed to continue sparring after the blow and had kept up with him on the way to the spring easily, but…

Kakashi cut off the train of thought and focused instead on the healing until the bruise was mostly faded. He let his fingers linger for a moment and resisted the temptation to run them over the teacher's body, to see if all of the skin was that silky. Then he glanced up into the brown eyes and saw them still watching – still analyzing. He let his hand drop and stepped back, then easily slid the false smile into place. Iruka looked uneasy for a moment, then glanced away, and the moment was broken.

"Are you coming in?" Iruka asked, and Kakashi shrugged.

"Maybe later," he said, and pulled the book out of his jacket. "Need to find out what happens next."

Iruka looked briefly annoyed, but he nodded and stepped closer to the water. Kakashi watched as Chuunin tentatively brushed his toes over the surface of the water, and smirked beneath his mask a little at the expression of shock on the teacher's face.

"Told you it was cold," Kakashi drawled lazily, and Iruka shot him a glare over his shoulder before stepping into the spring. The teacher moved to the deepest part quickly, and Kakashi spared him one last look before shrugging out of his jacket and sprawling out on the rocks. Icha Icha was soon opened and the Copy Nin was trying to get involved in the story, but his mind kept being tugged back to a certain teacher.

The spar had been a good idea in more ways than one. The humiliation involved in using a test normally performed on children was a good basis for revenge – and Kakashi was still irked over Iruka's decision to hand him over to Gai – but it'd served other causes as well. The original purpose for the test was to measure the skills of the people taking it, and Kakashi felt that he now had a better grasp over the Chuunin's skills than before.

The man's file hadn't been far off the mark. His taijutsu was weak, and his overall stores of chakra were low comparatively, though the teacher's control over said chakra was precise and almost surgical. It explained some of why he'd been able to pull off the healing jutsu he'd apparently used on Kakashi's side. His ninjutsu was acceptable for a Chuunin, though from what Kakashi had seen it was mostly by the book – it made sense, though. Iruka had been teaching basic classes for years, and it was only logical that the man would reach first for the skills that he used on a daily basis.

It was also surprisingly effective. Iruka had a habit of combining together deceptively simple skills with well thought out tactics, and the combination was one that was intriguing as well as practical. The Chuunin's strongest aspects were his quick mind and his traps. Those alone were enough to convince Kakashi that the teacher was better suited to tokubetsu Jounin rank than Chuunin, but he was relieved to find that Iruka actually wasn't at Jounin level. The teacher simply didn't have the strength for solo fieldwork, though he'd be invaluable working in a cell.

So far nothing had been outside far outside the scope of what was believable for a strong Chuunin, and Kakashi's wariness around the teacher was slowly beginning to dissolve. By now he'd spent enough time with the man to be fairly sure that he was hiding something, but he also felt he knew Iruka well enough by now to safely say that whatever he was concealing, he wasn't doing it out of any plans or desires to harm the village.

Kakashi sighed and glanced at the teacher over the edge of his book. The man was lounging in the water, eyes closed, an expression of pure contentment on his face. The Copy Nin hesitated for a moment, then silently set his book down and slipped out of his sandals, leaving them on the rock. After a moment he pulled off the baggy shirt as well, leaving on the sleeveless ANBU top that he always wore beneath it. The bandages came off next, and he was careful to unwind them slowly, minimizing the scrape of the fabric as it was pulled away. Fortunately the soft hiss of the waterfall helped to conceal the noise, but Kakashi remained careful, setting the bandages down quietly and pulling his pants off as well.

He chanced another glance at Iruka after he'd stripped off his gear, and saw that the teacher's eyes were still closed. Kakashi smirked slightly beneath his mask, and approached the Chuunin with shinobi stealth, carefully walking around the edge of the spring. He stopped five feet away from Iruka and reached out with his senses carefully, listening to the man's breathing, and wasn't at all surprised to find that the teacher had fallen asleep. The man had been woken up early and had trained harder in one day than he probably did for a week – it made sense that he'd drift off.

Kakashi considered the man's position for a moment, half in the water, head tilted back to rest against the rocks. The angle gave him a perfect view of the tan column of Iruka's throat, and he let his gaze linger there. The man was more attractive than he'd realized, and he idly wondered if that was why Iruka wore the baggy clothing and the harsh ponytail that his hair was even now pulled back into. Asleep, the Chuunin looked younger, almost boyish. How much of the Chuunin's daily appearance was geared to ensure that people continued to overlook him, deliberately calculated to make curious eyes note the distinctive scar then flicker past, dismissing him as unworthy of further attention?

He remembered Genma's warning, and the calm confidence with which Iruka had threatened him. Did the teacher react in that way to everyone who approached him, or only the ones who were as crass about it as the tokubetsu Jounin had apparently been? He'd seen neither sign nor hint of a lover in the time he'd known the teacher – not even within his house. If anything, the more time he spent with Iruka, the more he confirmed Tsunade's assessment of him as a loner. It made Kakashi wonder what had made someone as young as the teacher choose to seal himself off from the rest of the world so thoroughly.

It wasn't uncommon for shinobi to eschew romantic or even sexual relationships, but it was a habit more generally practiced by those like Kakashi himself, who spent the majority of their time on the field. It didn't make sense for someone who was essentially a civilian in all of the ways that mattered to be alone. As he stepped closer, Kakashi idly wondered why the Chuunin had decided to open his life to him, of all people. It would've been easy for Iruka to turn down the dinners, or the spar, in that calm and perfectly polite if threatening way he'd seen him rebuff Genma.

The Copy Nin came to a pause inches away from the Chuunin, and he watched the dark lashes flutter, knowing that he didn't have much more time if he wanted to pull it off. The Jounin leaned down carefully, sliding one bare hand into the water. He took a steadying breath and waited until the Chuunin murmured sleepily, then, in one swift movement, drew his hand through the water. The splash landed with the perfect aim characteristic of shinobi, thoroughly wetting the teacher's sun-warmed chest and face. Iruka came awake with a sputtering gasp and nearly jumped out of his skin, then his gaze fixed on the Jounin.

Kakashi smirked in reply to the glare the Chuunin was leveling at him, and when Iruka lurched forward, he danced out of the way, focusing enough chakra into his feet to stay balanced on top of the water. The Chuunin took in his appearance in a glance, then frowned thoughtfully. For a moment Kakashi thought that the teacher would let the transgression pass, then he saw the mischievous glint to Iruka's eyes that was becoming all too common, and the teacher's hands formed a familiar sign.

Twin coils of water rose behind the Jounin and lazily moved for his ankles, trying to wrap around them. Kakashi nimbly leapt out of the way of the water and landed beside the Chuunin.

"Maa, Iruka-sensei, using jutsu? That's not fair," he said. Iruka snorted.

"You started it, and don't try to pretended that of those thousand jutsu you know, at least a few aren't water," he said. Kakashi shrugged, and instead of replying, splashed the teacher again. This time the water landed in his previously dry hair, and the Chuunin's eyes narrowed at him.

"Now you're just asking for it," Iruka told him. Kakashi smiled cheekily at him.

From there things quickly devolved into what could only be described as a water fight, and Kakashi wondered more than once about his sanity. Iruka was obviously a water jutsu user, and he showed no hesitation in using his advantage against the Copy Nin. For his part, Kakashi relied on his superior speed and greater chakra reserves to dodge the streams of water and return with his own. The fight quickly fell into the same easy rhythm of the earlier spar, and when Iruka laughingly admitted his defeat, both shinobi were soaked to the bone. Kakashi pulled himself out of the water and flopped down on the sun-warmed rocks, only to find Iruka staring down at him with a grin.

"What?" Kakashi asked, and the teacher twitched for a moment, then started laughing again.

"You look like a drowned rat," Iruka told him.

"Maa, Sensei, you're one to talk," Kakashi drawled. Iruka looked indignant for a moment, then he laughed and settled down beside the Copy Nin.

"At least my hair doesn't go into spikes when wet," the teacher teased. Kakashi rolled his eyes.

After awhile, the Chuunin spoke up again. "By the way, you owe me dinner," he said. Kakashi blinked.

"What for this time? I thought we were even," he said. Iruka grinned at him cheekily.

"We were. But then you got my clothes off. And if you're going to get me to take my clothes off, you should at least buy me dinner," he said. Kakashi snorted.

"That's an inventive way to try and get me to feed you," Kakashi said. Iruka nodded, and the Copy Nin sighed, angling slightly to put more of his body in the sun.

"If you really wanted to get your revenge, you could cook instead," Iruka offered. Kakashi shot a lazy glare at him.

"I'm perfectly capable of cooking, Sensei," he said.

"Prove it," Iruka said. Kakashi was tempted to make a protest about being an adult who couldn't be goaded into things through blackmail and challenges, but was self-aware enough to know that his fifteen-year-long "rivalry" with Gai fairly well put an end to that kind of reasoning.

"We'll have to go shopping. I don't have much food in the house," Kakashi told him. Iruka shrugged.

"Fine by me. I'll help cook, and after dinner you can help me grade papers."

"Why?" Kakashi asked, and Iruka leveled what Kakashi was quickly coming to identify as the teacher look at him.

"Because I was supposed to get caught up on my grading today, then some crazy Jounin came in, woke me up, and dragged me out to beat me up for an imagined slight."

"Hey! Turning me over to Gai isn't an imagined slight," Kakashi said. Iruka shrugged.

"Either way, I have grading that needs to be done. The least you can do is help me, seeing as you're the reason that I'm not already half-way through with it."

Kakashi sighed, but didn't protest any further. There were worse ways he could think of to spend a night. He glanced at Iruka out of the corner of his eye, taking in the glowing bronze skin and the slight smile tugging at the corners of the man's mouth, and reminded himself firmly that this was a mission.

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

Kakashi set the bags down next to his apartment door and ran through the elaborate hand signs now necessary for disarming the traps. After finishing the signs, he pressed his right hand against the door and sent a thin stream of chakra through it, feeding directly into the established wards. He felt the slight slackening of the seals disengaging, and stooped to pick the bags back up before pushing the door open and heading in. Moments later, Iruka followed behind him, brown eyes taking in the changed appearance of the apartment.

"You cleaned," Iruka said, sounding surprised. Kakashi shrugged as he started unpacking the bags, and set one egg on the counter before slipping the carton into the fridge.

"I do that, occasionally. The last time you were here, I'd just gotten off a six-month long stint of missions," the Jounin explained. He leaned down to pull a large metal bowl from one of the cabinets and inspected it before setting it down on the counter, then rummaged through the drawers in search of measuring spoons.

"That explains the dust, then," Iruka said. Kakashi glanced up to see the teacher set his satchel down at the table, and he nodded.

"Go ahead and start grading. There's really nothing to help with at this point," he said. Iruka sighed but settled down in one of the wooden chairs and pulled a sheaf of papers and a red pen out of the satchel. The teacher stared at the papers for a moment, then glanced up at Kakashi.

"I was kind of hoping for an excuse to get out of it," he said. Kakashi snorted in reply and striped his gloves off, then measured out the flour and dumped it in the bowl. He added a pinch of salt then filled one of the measuring cups with water, hollowed out a well in the middle of the flour, and added the water to it. He cracked the egg and carefully added it to the water, then carefully mixed the liquid together until it was a smooth, consistent whole. He felt Iruka's eyes on him, and glanced up to see Iruka grinning at him.

"Is something funny?" Kakashi asked petulantly, and he heard the soft, familiar sound of Iruka's chuckling.

"You just didn't strike me as the type to be able to cook," Iruka said. Kakashi shrugged and turned his attention to the bowl, sliding his hands into the flour and slowly mixing it into the egg and water.

"I would've done something more, but you're the one who said his favorite food was ramen," Kakashi told him. Iruka blushed and turned his attention to his grading. Kakashi watched Iruka frown and mark a notation on the paper he was perusing, then absently pull his hitai-ate off, setting it down on the table. Without the hitai-ate holding them back, stray strands of hair fell into Iruka's face, and Kakashi noticed the almost impatient way Iruka tucked them back behind his ear. It made him wonder if Iruka did the same thing when his hair was down - if he was quick to push it out of his face, or if he let it fall naturally.

The Jounin turned his attention back to the dough, scraping the flour from the sides of the bowl and kneading it into the slightly sticky mixture in the middle. When he was satisfied with the texture of the dough, he covered it with a clean, damp cloth and went about the painstaking process of cleaning his hands. As soon as they were clean, he pulled his gloves back on and dropped silently into the chair beside Iruka.

The Chuunin glanced up at him after a moment and smiled slightly, then pushed a stack of papers over to him. Kakashi raised his brow and Iruka shrugged, then handed him a red pen identical to the one the teacher was currently tapping against the table.

"The answer key is on the top. Just do the multiple choice for now, I'll go back and grade the essay questions myself," Iruka said distractedly, then made quick note on the paper he'd working on.

"Maa, Sensei, do you really think so little of me?" Kakashi asked. Iruka sighed and cast him a look.

"Please remember, Kakashi-san, that I have seen your mission reports," he said. Kakashi smirked slightly beneath his mask at that, then studied the answer sheet. The test seemed simple enough – basic questions on chakra use and control, most of them related in some way to the lecture he'd interrupted. It seemed like Iruka had used a surprise test to regain control of his classroom. The Jounin pulled out the first test and settled down to the grading.

Half an hour later found Kakashi mostly finished with the tests, and Iruka still at the beginning of his pile. The Jounin glanced over at the paper Iruka was currently grading, and noticed the many red dots from where Iruka's pen had hesitated over a sentence then moved away without making a correction. It seemed that the Chuunin was a soft if thorough grader, and it somehow fit with the image he had of the man. Iruka struck him as the kind of teacher who would agonize over failing a student, yet still do it because he felt it was the right decision to make.

The Copy Nin finished marking the last test, then set the pile down beside Iruka's elbow without disturbing him. He rose with the silence characteristic of shinobi and slipped into the kitchen, setting a pot of water to boiling. He set up a separate pot with a mixture of miso and stock to simmer, then rummaged through his cabinets until he found a pan for the meat. He started the pan heating then looked over at Iruka again.

By this point the fingers of one of the teacher's hands were threaded through his hair, and the other hand was covered in red ink. His brow was furrowed slightly as he hesitated over an answer, and Kakashi noticed that the teacher had started finishing the work on the papers Kakashi had gone over. It made him wonder if the frown was for the student's answer, or for his own work. Somehow, though, he thought it was the first – Iruka wouldn't hesitate to berate him for any imagined slight toward his students. The tension in the younger man's frame was palpable, especially in the set of his shoulders. Kakashi's mind helpfully provided an image of him working the knots out of Iruka's back and he shook his head slightly, then went looking for his sake set.

Kakashi sighed as he pulled the sake cups out and stared at them for a moment. He'd never really thought that he'd use them again – had no need of them, and no interest in social drinking before recently. Just behind the cups he found the bottle of sake Tsunade had forced on him last Christmas. He examined the bottle for a moment, then shrugged. It was too late to try to chill it, and if he remembered correctly, this particular type was better served warm. He heated the bottle just enough to warm the sake, then poured a generous cup and set it down next to Iruka, but far enough away so that the teacher wouldn't knock it over if he moved suddenly. Iruka noticed it and smiled up at him gratefully.

Kakashi nodded and poured a cup for himself then set the bottle down on the table beside Iruka. He downed half of the cup of sake before heading back into the kitchen. The pan was more than warm enough now, and he cooked the pork quickly, then removed it from the heat, wondering vaguely why Iruka had to favor a dish that took so many steps to prepare. It would've been much simpler to order take-out, but Kakashi supposed that fifteen years of meeting Gai's insane challenges had inured him to the point where making ramen from scratch seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea.

He sighed and turned to check on the dough. The cloth stuck slightly when he pulled it away, and Kakashi dusted the ball with flour before pulling it out and stretching it. Once he was satisfied with the consistency of the dough, he set it down on the cutting board and swiftly sliced it into thin noodles, adding flour as needed to make sure that the slide of the knife remained smooth. He swiftly added the noodles to the boiling water and let them cook just long enough to be tender before adding them to the mixture of miso and stock.

After that all that was left was to add the mixture to bowls and garnish, something that Kakashi did swiftly. He carried both bowls over to the table and set one down beside the teacher, refilled Iruka's cup of sake and started in on his own bowl. Iruka noticed the food after a few minutes, and set his pen down, stretching with a sigh. Kakashi could hear the bones in Iruka's spine pop, and he frowned slightly, then pushed the bowl of ramen closer to the Chuunin.

"Do you always take this long to grade, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi asked mildly. Iruka looked somewhat surprised at the question, then he shrugged.

"Well… it usually takes longer than this, actually. Thank you for your help," he said. Kakashi was tempted to arch a brow, but instead he nodded at the food.

"You should eat," Kakashi told him, then turned away slightly to follow his own advice. He heard a slight rustle of paper, then a soft sigh before Iruka picked up his chopsticks and started eating.

"It's good," the teacher told him.

"You don't have to sound so shocked, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi said. He turned just in time to catch the Chuunin's blush.

"It's just not what I would have expected from you," Iruka said. Kakashi shrugged slightly, then poured another cup of sake for himself and leaned back in the chair. He watched Iruka eat for a moment before speaking up again.

"So why do it?" Kakashi asked. Iruka blinked and looked at Kakashi, expression showing his confusion.

"Do what?" the Chuunin asked. Kakashi shrugged and gestured at the papers littering his table.

"Teach. From what I saw tonight and the other day, it's like having a B-rank mission five days a week. Why do it?" he asked. Iruka thought over the question before answering, idly pushing the noodles around in his bowl.

"Because I enjoy it," he finally answered. "I enjoy having the opportunity to interact with the kids. I enjoy teaching them new things, and seeing them grow and develop into the shinobi that they one day will be. And I suppose I also enjoy making my mark on the next generation."

"If that's all you wanted, you could've taken on a Genin team," Kakashi told him. Iruka looked surprised for a moment, then shrugged.

"I guess it was a possibility, but I never really saw it as one. I'm not really suited to be a Jounin," he said. Kakashi observed the teacher's expression closely, but saw no sign of deceit. He sighed and picked up the bottle of sake, then filled the Chuunin's cup.

"You know, Iruka-sensei, you're a very difficult man to figure out," Kakashi said. Iruka smiled at him suddenly, and it was one of the truly honest smiles that Kakashi was coming to realize were nearly as rare as his own.

"You're one to talk, Kakashi-san," Iruka said. The Jounin chuckled softly at that, then took a sip of his sake through his mask.

"You're right. But at least I'm not crazy enough to claim to enjoy teaching," he said. Iruka arched a brow at that.

"Oh really? What about your own Genin team?" he asked. Kakashi shrugged.

"Completely unwilling. The Third had been trying to get me to take a Genin team on ever since he kicked me out of ANBU," Kakashi said. Iruka looked unsurprised by the revelation.

"You also failed every single Genin team he tried to foist off on you, until you met those three," he said. Kakashi shrugged.

"I had to take one eventually. It was the only way to get him to be quiet about it," Kakashi said.

"If you'd really wanted to, you could've gone on indefinitely without passing a team, Kakashi-san. He wouldn't have actually forced you to take on a team that you didn't want," Iruka said gently. Kakashi stared at him for a moment, then sighed.

"You're right. He wouldn't have," he said. The answer seemed to be enough to satisfy Iruka, because he nodded, then gestured at Kakashi's bowl.

"Are you done eating?" the teacher asked politely. Kakashi nodded, and Iruka scooped the bowl up along with his own and headed into the kitchen. Kakashi followed after him bemusedly, still nursing his cup of sake. When Iruka asked where the dish soap and towels were, Kakashi lazily pointed them out, then leaned back against the wall, watching Iruka washed the dishes.

"You don't have to do that," Kakashi said. Iruka shrugged and looked over his shoulder at him with a smile.

"Well, I did promise to help with dinner before I got caught up in grading. Maybe this will help make up for me forgetting," he said.

"Mmm. Eggplant and miso soup," Kakashi said. Iruka looked slightly confused, and the Copy Nin shrugged.

"Since I made you your favorite meal, I thought you should know what mine is, for next time. At least it's easier to make than ramen," he said. Iruka rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the dishes.

"You know, normal people just buy the instant stuff. It takes three minutes and a pot of boiling water. Even Naruto can do it," the Chuunin said.

"Maa, but that wouldn't have proved my cooking skill," Kakashi said. "And I do believe that the challenge was to my cooking skill, not my ability to boil water," he finished.

"You've been spending too much time with Gai," Iruka told him seriously.

"I believe I have you to thank for that, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi replied. Iruka laughed softly, then dried the last pot off and set it on the counter. The Jounin watched the movement, taking in how the muscles rippled beneath Iruka's skin and noting idly how much the Chuunin's tan stood out against the white fabric of the towel. The contrast made him remember how the pallor of his fingers had looked against the man's chest, and he was suddenly tempted to test it again. He stepped forward unconsciously, only noticing that he'd gotten closer when the Chuunin regarded him with slightly confused chocolate eyes.

"Kakashi-san?" Iruka questioned, and the tone was nearly exactly the same as he'd used the last time Kakashi had come too close – a mixture of wariness and awareness that showed exactly how conscious he was of the Jounin's proximity. It made Kakashi wonder if Iruka's reaction was caused entirely by the somewhat disconcerting feeling of having a man who could easily kill you only inches away, or if it was caused by something deeper. Kakashi stepped slightly closer, and watched as color slowly blossomed across Iruka's cheeks, turning them red. The Chuunin bit his bottom lip uncertainly, and the movement drew Kakashi's gaze down.

Iruka's lips were expressive, he decided. Too expressive for a shinobi, but not as expressive as his eyes. Kakashi's gaze flickered back up and he gauged the teacher's reaction carefully as he reached out with one gloved hand, bringing it close to the Chuunin's face. Iruka tensed but didn't pull away, and Kakashi let his fingers ghost softly over the curve of the younger man's cheek, then trail down the side of his neck. He watched, fascinated, as Iruka gulped, and he repeated the softly caressing movement just to see the tan skin quiver again.

"Kakashi-san…" Iruka's voice was low and slightly scratchy, filled with uncertainty and a hint of desire so slight that the Jounin wasn't completely sure he hadn't imagined it. He leaned in closer, studying Iruka's lips once again. They were the exact shade of cinnamon, he decided, and he wondered if the Chuunin would taste sweet despite the ramen and sake. Somehow he knew he would, and he was tempted to cover the Chuunin's eyes long enough to pull down his mask and verify it. But first…

Kakashi reached behind Iruka, fingers deftly finding the tie in his hair and pulling it out. He sighed slightly when it fell down to surround the Chuunin's face. It wasn't perfect – still slightly damp from the water, since it'd remained up the entire time – and it hung around Iruka's face limply – but somehow, it suited him. It softened the harsh line of his jaw, and made him look younger. More innocent. The Jounin murmured approvingly and leaned in closer, nuzzling against Iruka's cheek and inhaling the scent he'd come to associate so strongly with the Chuunin.

"Kakashi-san?" Iruka's voice was louder this time, loud enough to firmly interrupt the Jounin's train of thought. He leaned back and blinked, then noticed the hair tie tangled around his fingers and the disheveled state of the Chuunin. His eye widened and he stepped back, wondering what the hell he thought he'd been doing – but another look at Iruka made that all too obvious, along with the fact that there was a part of him that wanted to continue doing exactly that and damn the consequences. He quickly slipped into his curvy-eyed smile, and held the hair tie out to the teacher.

"Maa, Iruka-sensei. You should be more careful. You had a water beetle in your hair," he said. Iruka took the tie and gathered his hair into a loose ponytail at the base of his neck. Kakashi could tell by his expression that he hadn't believed the excuse – he wouldn't have believed it either – but apparently the teacher didn't plan to press the matter. By silent agreement the two shinobi headed to the table, and Kakashi helped Iruka pack his papers away.

When Iruka was almost out the door, he paused and looked at Kakashi uncertainly, then seemed to come to a decision. He smiled, and though it wasn't the broad, honest smile of before, it was still a smile.

"Eggplant and miso soup tomorrow?" Iruka asked. Kakashi shrugged.

"Maybe. We'll see."

Iruka nodded, then slipped on his sandals and headed out the door. Kakashi watched until he could no longer see the teacher's back, then closed the door behind him and sank down against it with a sigh.

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

The Chuunin's skin had been soft. Soft and smooth, like warm silk, but unlike silk it hadn't caught and scratched at his scarred fingertips – rather it had given beneath them, pliant and sleek against his hand. The Jounin took a deep breath and leaned forward until his head was between his knees, trying to shake off the slight dizziness and the desire that was still clouding his thinking. The last thing he needed to be focusing on now was the way Iruka's skin had felt, or how his hair had looked as it'd brushed against his jaw, how it'd felt sliding through Kakashi's hands.

He didn't need to concentrate on the lips that were burned in his memory as indelibly as if he'd used the Sharingan. Parted, laughing, smiling – it only struck the Jounin now exactly how many expressions he'd seen on those lips, and it made him wonder exactly how long he'd been watching the Chuunin, and just how closely he would've had to be observing the teacher to memorize his expressions so precisely. It was frightening enough to have touched him, to have subconsciously have wanted it so much for his hands to move without his consent, without the too-accurate, too-exact memories racing through his mind.

The Jounin pulled his mask down and gulped in what was intended to be a deep, steadying breath, then his shoulders suddenly tensed against the wood of the door he was leaning against. The tones of ink and chalk were subtle this time, barely present, giving way to the clean smell of forest and the slightly salty tang of sweat, all overlain by the crisp, clean smell of the spring. Beneath it all was the darker musk of Iruka's own scent, the smell that he could never fully define as anything other than the teacher – the scent that had driven him out of his apartment after Iruka had broken in, the scent that was now so damn familiar that Kakashi knew that if he caught the slightest whiff of it ten years from now, he'd be able to identify it.

The Copy Nin tried to sort through the scents in his apartment, to find something to latch onto, some anchor to distract his senses, but it was too strong. He closed his eye briefly and for a moment it was like the teacher was everywhere, surrounding him, encapsulating him, and a part of the Jounin purred its approval at that thought. He desperately yanked his mask up, hoping that it'd block the scent out enough for him to think, for him to get enough of a grasp on the situation to sort through what had happened, but the mask only made it worse.

It was then that he realized the strongest source of Iruka's scent in the room was himself. He was covered in it, drenched in it, so much so that it felt like it'd permeated into his every pore, and Kakashi cursed his heightened senses. The smell clung to his mask, to his uniform, and most of all to his hands – to the hands that had touched the Chuunin, had brushed over his skin and nearly tangled in his hair and –

Kakashi bit back a groan, teeth digging into his bottom lip harshly enough to draw blood. He leaned back against the door and drew in quick, panting breaths, fighting back the arousal that was threatening to coil low in his belly. He needed to think of something else, anything else other than exactly what he'd wanted to do to the Chuunin, because the desire was still very real, humming through his blood in a way that was just short of terrifying. He knew that if Iruka hadn't protested at exactly the right time, he wouldn't still be obsessing over what exactly the Chuunin tasted like – he'd know.

The idea was tempting, far too tempting, and the little part of Kakashi that had been urging him to kiss the Chuunin regardless of the consequences helpfully provided an image of the younger man pressed back against counter, his thighs surrounded by Kakashi's, the Jounin's hands tangling in his hair and pulling his head back just enough for the Copy Nin's tongue to plunder his mouth. Kakashi bit his lip harder, then stood up in one smooth motion and stalked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

He stripped off his gear quickly, gloved hands tangling in the bandages and fumbling over the catches, but somehow he managed to get all of it off. He had enough presence of mind to turn away from the mirror before stripping the ANBU top off, but just barely, and he threw his gloves to the floor before stepping into the shower. He turned the water on without looking up and sucked in a swift breath at the shock of cold against his skin. He leaned against the wall and let the freezing water sluice over his back, washing the scent away.

Kakashi carefully concentrated on the sting of the water until he felt the tension coiled in his body slowly start to dissipate, and even then he focused on taking deep, calming breaths. He slipped into one of the meditation rituals that all shinobi were taught, and sighed when he finally managed to school his thoughts in a semblance of order. He reached one trembling hand out and twisted the knob until the water turned warm, then hissed in pain at the sudden change in temperature.

He'd nearly kissed Umino Iruka. Even worse than that, he'd _wanted_ to kiss him – and still wanted to, if he was honest with himself. The Jounin sighed and ran his fingers through his silver hair, pushing it back away from his face, wondering how he'd let the Chuunin get this close. He'd let the man into his apartment, for Kami's sake – willingly let him in. Laughed with him. Smiled at him. Thought even for a second about pulling his mask down, and for a reason as trivial as curiosity over what the Chuunin tasted like.

It was something that he shouldn't have been wondering in the first place. The entire night – no, the month – never should have happened. He shouldn't know what Iruka smelled like, or how his eyes lit up when he smiled. He shouldn't even have known the man's favorite food, much less cooked for him in his own apartment. A sudden wave of nausea twisted the Jounin's stomach, and he leaned on the tiled wall until it passed.

Kakashi, better than anyone, knew what happened when he let people get too close. If the names engraved on the memorial stone weren't proof enough of that, his students – the Sannin's students, he quickly corrected himself – were. And yet somehow, despite years of carefully making sure no one, even his Genin saw anything more than the lazy, porn-reading pervert Hatake Kakashi had come to be known as, he'd let Iruka in. Not completely, but far enough, and it'd happened so effortlessly that he hadn't noticed until it was almost too late.

He picked up the bar of soap and worked it into a lather, then ran the cloth over his body, scrubbing to get the scent off. He distinctly didn't think of how the scent had gotten there, instead focusing on covering every inch of pale skin in soap, rinsing it off, then repeating the process until all that reached his nose was the bitterly clean scent of cleaner and the slightly metallic scent of the tap water. When his mind tried to drift to brown eyes or a too-soft smile, he sharply pulled it back and clamped down on the desire, shunting it away into a corner of his mind where he didn't have to look at it. When he was finally satisfied that he was clean, he turned the water off and stepped out of the shower.

He toweled off quickly and roughly, taking care not to catch a glimpse of his own reflection in the mirror. His thoughts were clearer now, free of the haze that had muddled them before – hard and sharp with a brittle razor's edge that he'd missed over the past month. For the first time since Tsunade had smirked and thrown him out of her office with a command to rest, he felt like himself – felt like Sharingan no Kakashi, instead of just Kakashi. The nervous tension was almost a relief, and he slid into it as easily and as effortlessly as he normally slid the mask up over his face. Kakashi ran the towel through his damp silver hair one last time, then let it drop to the floor.

He was careful to not brush against the gear scattered on the ground when he left the room, and he silently padded into the bedroom, pulling open the closet door. He pulled out one of the uniforms hanging there and made a mental note to requisition more from supplies the next time he was in the village for a long enough stint to have them delivered, and he pulled the outfit on with swift efficiency that came from years of experience. He bound the bandages tighter around his ankles than he normally did in the village, and made sure that his mask was securely fitted over his face to block out the smell before he went back into the bathroom.

He rummaged through his gear quickly, taking the weapons and scrolls that he couldn't easily replace and leaving the rest of it scattered among the pockets and pouches of the old vest. Then he picked up the towel he'd used to dry himself off with and gathered the clothing into it, taking care to not let his hands brush against it any more than necessary. When the gear was wrapped up, he set it outside the door and thoroughly washed his hands before pulling on a different pair of gloves. The leather creaked slightly and was rougher against his skin than he was used to, but the familiar weight was comforting all the same.

After that the Jounin moved through the apartment swiftly, activating the wards and traps that he'd disarmed when he'd let the teacher in. He stared at the dishes for a moment as he tried to decide if it'd be worse to leave them out or put them away, then sighed and tossed them into cabinets. He ignored the sound of the porcelain chipping and instead threw the refrigerator door open and started transferring all of the groceries that he'd bought that afternoon into the trash. After the perishables were cleaned out, he stocked his vest with enough ration bars to last a week – a month if he was lucky, and could forage. He set the trash out on the balcony, where it'd be picked up in the morning, and closed the door behind him. He ran through the hand signals quickly and fed a quick, sharp burst of chakra into the wards, activating the traps that had been too dangerous to engage while he was still in the apartment.

He felt the peculiar tug and almost click of the wards engaging, and he nodded sharply before taking off into the darkness.

***

The moon was large enough so that Kakashi could just barely make out the names on the memorial, and he stared at them silently. The nervous tension in his frame demanded explosive movement for release, but he ignored it as steadfastly as he'd ignored the desire earlier, instead focusing on the memorial. He deliberately brought to mind the faces attached to the names, and if Obito's eyes were closer to chocolate than ebon and Minato's smile was tinged something other than amused tolerance, he refused to recognize it. The Jounin reached out to run a fingertip over the cold stone and idly noticed how different it was from skin, how harsh and unyielding it seemed in comparison. There was something comforting about the cold rasp of the carved names in the stone beneath his fingers, something familiar. This, Kakashi firmly reminded himself, was where he belonged.

He stood vigil at the memorial until the first rays of dawn began to lighten the sky, and was gone before the sun had fully risen.

***

When Tsunade arrived the Jounin was waiting in her office, blended into the faint shadows in the corner as effortlessly as the ANBU she knew he had once been. Her eyes flickered to him for a moment and she held his gaze just long enough to let him know she saw him there, then she settled down behind the too-large desk and opened the first of the files that Shizune had left her. It was a familiar game for the two – if Kakashi didn't emerge, Tsunade would be content to ignore him until her paperwork was finished.

Today, the Jounin allowed it, saying nothing, but the slightly metallic scent of his tension was heavy on the air, and both shinobi had the senses to register it. After an hour Tsunade closed the file she'd been working on and placed it flat on the desk. She turned to look directly where the Jounin was hiding, and he stepped out of the shadows seamlessly, then crossed his arms over his chest and slouched against the wall in his normal posture. He didn't waver from the pose when his Hokage's golden eyes calmly took in his appearance, and after a moment, she nodded. His shoulders relaxed minutely.

"Report," Tsunade said, and Kakashi nodded sharply, then began talking in the even monotone associated with missions.

"I made contact with the target, and after three weeks of observation have come to the conclusion that he is hiding something. What that is, I'm not certain," Kakashi said. Tsunade nodded slightly.

"Did you find out anything else?" Tsunade asked, and her carefully level tone bespoke her worry more clearly than any overt display of concern. Kakashi wondered for a moment if her concern was for the teacher, his presence in her office at this early hour, or the waves of tension that he was still clearly radiating. He ignored the nervous energy and forced his muscles to relax, watching Tsunade's face as he did. Some of the tension left her expression, but not all of it, and it made him think that perhaps it was all three that had her worried.

"He's a master in traps. It's how he was able to get into my apartment so easily," Kakashi said. Despite his attempt to edit it out, he heard the slight change in inflection in his tone that revealed exactly how bothered he still was about that fact to anyone who knew him well enough, and the mirroring change in Tsunade's eyes that proved she'd heard it. The Sannin pushed the chair away from her desk and walked over to the windows, looking out over the village.

"What exactly do you mean by a master?" she asked, and without her eyes to betray it, the worry about her shinobi was almost hidden. The slightly tense set to her shoulders was the only sign of it.

"One of the best I've seen. The traps he has in place at his apartment make mine look like child's play. Some of them were similar to the ones taught in advanced classes, but others were completely original, and the original ones seemed to be more deadly."

The Hokage turned to look at him, wariness showing in her golden eyes.

"Deadly?" she asked, and the Jounin nodded shortly.

"Most of them were non-lethal, but they could easily be reworked," Kakashi said. Tsunade nodded slowly.

"And the rest of his skills?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I sparred with him once. His ninjutsu and other skills are about what the file indicated. The only things remarkable about him are the traps and his chakra control," he said.

"What is your recommendation?" the Hokage asked, and Kakashi shrugged again.

"He'd make a good tokubetsu Jounin. With enough training he might be able to make full Jounin, but he's really not suited to individual fieldwork. Skill-wise, I could see him fitting into an ANBU cell," Kakashi told her.

"But?" Tsunade asked. Kakashi paused for the first time in the questioning, and shrugged.

"When I mentioned it, he seemed uncomfortable. He's said that he's never really thought about taking a Genin team, but when I suggested that he'd be more suited as a tokubetsu Jounin than as a Chuunin, he didn't seem surprised. If anything, he acted as if he expected it," Kakashi said. The Hokage's brow furrowed for a moment.

"Do you think he's realized that your interest in him is related to a mission?" she asked. The Jounin shook his head slightly, and Tsunade nodded, then settled back down behind her desk. She reopened the file she'd been working on, but rather than blending back into the shadows or leaving, Kakashi stayed propped against the wall, watching her with a single gray eye. After a moment she looked back up at him, raising a brow.

"Yes, Hatake?" she asked. He shrugged, and she frowned.

"Do you have anything more to report?" When Kakashi didn't respond, her frown grew, and she stared at the silver-haired shinobi.

"What is it, Hatake?" she asked again, impatience clearly showing in her voice.

"I want a mission," he finally said, voice low and gruff. The Hokage's eyes narrowed.

"You already have a mission," she told him, and gestured toward the door. Kakashi frowned beneath his mask and didn't move, instead locking glares with the Sannin.

"I want a real mission, not an order to babysit a Chuunin," he said.

"You'll get what missions I choose to give you, Hatake," Tsunade barked. For a moment the panic rose in Kakashi's throat and he felt the resultant spike in his chakra, then he clamped down on it and carefully schooled his visible expression into one of nonchalance. Tsunade had half-risen from her chair in response, and the worry from before was clear on her face. The Jounin bit his lip beneath his mask and resigned himself to the questions that would inevitably come.

* * *


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

"Kakashi." The Hokage's tone was carefully modulated and soft, the kind of voice that people used when talking to feral animals. The Jounin focused on keeping his expression neutral and his posture casual, but he wasn't able to hold back the slight tensing of his muscles when Tsunade pushed her chair back. The blonde woman walked around the desk slowly, robes swishing against the floor, careful not to make any sudden movements that could be misconstrued as a potential attack. It made Kakashi wonder exactly how bad that spike of chakra had to have been, for the Hokage to be so wary. When she reached a hand out toward his face, he stepped smoothly out of the way, and smiled his crinkly-eyed, defensive smile. The Sannin's hand dropped, and the faint frown lines at the corners of her eyes relaxed. She crossed her arms over her ample chest and took a deep breath. Kakashi wondered how much it said about both of them that she'd found his reaction calming.

"What's going on here?" Tsunade asked, and her voice this time was less smooth, showing some of the irritation of before. Kakashi shrugged and almost managed to make the movement look casual, though he knew he was too tense in the shoulders to really pull off the movement. He watched the way the Hokage's golden eyes narrowed slightly, focusing on the slight stiffness, and he cursed the years of experience with reading the subtleties of ANBU body language. He deliberately loosened his stance until it was almost his usual slouch, and he saw a flicker of recognition in the Sannin's eyes before he glanced away.

"I need to get out of the village," Kakashi told her. It was true, even if he wasn't saying why, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Tsunade's brow furrow. For a moment he thought that she'd just kick him out of her office, then he carefully clamped down on that thought and tucked it away where it couldn't make him panic again. The only thing that would be worse than Tsunade turning him away would be her finding out exactly why he was so desperate to leave. The Hokage sighed and tried to catch the Jounin's gaze for a moment, then looked out the window when she failed. They both watched the village as she spoke again.

"You needed to get out of the village a month ago, Hatake. You needed to get out of the village yesterday, but you weren't showing up at my office at dawn. What changed?" she asked. Kakashi shrugged again, and the movement was more fluid this time. He started to think up some story to fend her off, but then she stepped in front of the window he'd been gazing out of and stared directly into his eye, anticipating the lie. He returned her gaze, straightening his posture to make the most of his height, and refused to back down even though she was close enough to make the nervousness from before hum and chitter along his skin like electricity.

"Nothing has changed," he said, and it sounded like a lie even to his own ears. The Hokage's calm stare reflected her knowledge of that lie, and he was almost tempted to tell her an edited version of what had happened in hopes that it'd be enough to get him out of the village and out of her office, but held back. Tsunade already knew too much about him – was one of the few people who had known both his father and his teacher – and he wouldn't willingly hand this weakness to her, too. The Hokage's eyes searched his face, and not for the first time, he was glad for the mask that hid it from sight.

"Hatake." Tsunade watched him for any reaction to his name, and when he raised his eyebrow slightly in response, the tension in her face slowly ebbed. For a second the illusion slipped, and she looked more like a woman who had seen too many years and too many hardships than the pinup girl she tried so hard to be. Kakashi looked away, and the Hokage sighed.

"Will you tell me what is going on?" Tsunade asked, and her voice held neither the carefully controlled calm of before nor the irritation he'd come to expect from her role as Hokage. If anything, the Sannin sounded almost… tired. When minutes passed and the Jounin still hadn't answered, the blonde sighed, then walked over to her desk. She bent to slide a drawer open, and instead of the expected rattle of sake cups, Kakashi heard the faint rustle of paper. Moments later the end of a scroll was pressed against his chest, and Kakashi looked first at the resignation in Tsunade's eyes, then down at the clearly marked mission scroll she was holding. He stared at her fingers for a moment before carefully taking the scroll, being sure to not brush against her skin.

"It's not an S-rank, and it's only for a week, but it's something. Bring the scroll back to me when you retrieve it," she said. Kakashi nodded and turned to the door, the mission details clutched a little too tightly in his gloved hand. He tried hard not to let his relief show, but he couldn't fake the nervous tension that had fled his body the moment he'd been handed the mission.

"Kakashi." Tsunade's voice was soft, barely above a whisper, and he glanced back at her. He could see the stress clearly in her face, along with all of the things that she wanted to say, and he hoped that she wouldn't voice them. As long as she didn't push too far, this odd mix of Hokage, medic, and something similar to friend worked for them both. Her lips parted, then she hesitated, reading the warning clear in Kakashi's single gray eye. Tsunade pursed her lips together, cutting off the questions and well-meaning advice, and Kakashi nodded slightly – a silent thank you. She nodded in return, and when she spoke, it was with the clear, commanding voice of the Hokage.

"Don't get yourself killed out there," Tsunade said. And if a touch of the worry showed in her voice and in her golden eyes, neither of them commented on it. Kakashi nodded his acceptance of the orders, then pushed the door open.

***

The Jounin unrolled the mission scroll as soon as he stepped outside of the Hokage's office and quickly scanned through it once, then read it a second time more slowly. It was a retrieval mission, A-rank – the type of mission that he'd grown used to practically doing in his sleep, and the kind of mission he would have groused over a month ago, wanting something more suited to his skills. Instead of irritation, though, he felt relief as he stared at the carefully written kanji. The group that had stolen the scroll was one that he vaguely recognized the name of, and if he was lucky, they'd pose enough of a fight for him to work out the worst of his frustrations.

Kakashi rolled the scroll up and stuck it inside his jacket, then headed out of the Hokage tower. He moved through the village quickly and silently, taking the less-traveled rooftops and alleyways to the gate. He nodded at the Chuunin standing guard, then passed through the gates without a backward glance. When he was far enough away from the village he started running through the treetops, going through the mission parameters in his mind.

The scroll that had been stolen was a valuable one, encrypted with the jutsu of a long-dead clan. The actual retrieval wouldn't likely be difficult – Kakashi had enough confidence in his skills to know that he'd be able to overcome any traps that a gang of yakuza could come up with, unless they had the money to hire Jounin guards. From what he knew of the group it wasn't unlikely, especially with an item this valuable. They would have to have at least some shinobi working for them to be able to steal the scroll in the first place, but it was likely that they were Chuunin.

Like many scrolls of its type, this specific one had been hidden away in a private library and had only been brought to attention after it had gone missing. Stealing it would've required some skill, but not that of a Jounin. Also, if there'd been news of higher-level shinobi working with the group, it would've been mentioned in the mission parameters. Kakashi mulled the details over as he swiftly moved through the trees, gray eye cautiously taking in every detail despite his preoccupation and the speed at which he was moving. The scroll Tsunade had given him had estimated three days to reach the hideout of the gang, and he knew that had been factored into the time allotted for the mission. At the speed he was traveling, it'd take him a little under a day – more, if he decided to rest.

Kakashi pushed thoughts of the mission away and instead concentrated solely on the movements of his body, on the mix of sting and burn and stretch that felt so deliciously good after weeks of being cooped up in the village. This was part of what he'd needed, what he'd been craving, but it wasn't enough to completely eradicate the tense knot in his stomach. His mind started to wander towards the man that had caused that tension, and Kakashi quickly pulled his thoughts back on track. The point of this mission was to forget the other man, not to think about him. Kakashi increased his speed enough so that he didn't have time to think, and ran through the trees until he lost track of time.

When the sky went gray, Kakashi pulled back into a lope, knowing it'd be wise to conserve his energy after his long stint of inactivity. From what he knew of the area, he was no more than an hour's travel from the last reported hideout for the gang, and that alone put him a good two days ahead of schedule. He had time to spare, and wasting energy needlessly was the purview of the young, not those as experienced as Kakashi. Years with the Sharingan had taught him to conserve his strength, knowing that it could all be called on when he went into battle. When he came to a clearing, Kakashi stopped running, then scanned the area from his vantage in the treetops.

There were no signs of other shinobi that he could see, but Kakashi sent out a careful pulse of chakra, feeling for the tingle that signified another chakra-user. When he didn't find it he relaxed slightly and dropped down from the trees, gray eye taking in the clearing carefully. It was small and secluded enough to feel safe, and the grass would at least offer a softer bed than he was used to in the trees. His lips twitched beneath his mask at that thought, and the realization that this would be the first time in weeks that he'd slept outdoors.

The Jounin pulled chakra wire out of his pack and stared at it for a moment before starting to set up traps around the area. It was only natural to do when out on a mission, and even more important when out solo – Kakashi was luckier than many shinobi in that he had his dogs to keep watch if he wanted to sleep, but the extra security that traps gave was always appreciated. He set up the patterns he was used to without having to think about them, then hesitated over the last trap, remembering something he'd seen Iruka use when he'd sparred the teacher. It wasn't much different than the standard – just a change in knots and the addition of an extra explosive tag – but it'd looked effective.

When he realized where his thoughts had gone, Kakashi sighed. He stared at the half-finished trap for a minute and considered tying it off in the normal manner, but the same stubbornness that made him a good shinobi wouldn't allow him to ignore a useful trap just because he didn't want to think about the man who had designed it. He made the changes quickly, if a bit grumpily, then sat down near it with his back against a tree. The Jounin pulled a ration bar out of his jacket and tugged his mask down enough to take a bite, then chewed it slowly.

It tasted horrible. Bad enough that Kakashi was half-tempted to spit it out and go foraging, but he made himself chew it and swallow, then forced down the rest of the bar. It made him remember the complaints of the other Jounin about the taste of the things, and how nearly all of them refused to eat them if there were any other options. It'd been complaining that he usually ignored, but now he fully understood it. The only way something could taste worse would be if Sakura had made it, and he wasn't even sure that the pink-haired girl's cooking could compete with the ration bars. Apparently he'd grown spoiled over the past month by hot meal after hot meal.

Kakashi closed his eye and tilted his head back against the tree, thinking about the night before. It'd been nice to cook again, he admitted to himself. Sometimes he forgot that he enjoyed it, but it was nice to create something for once, even if it was something as simple as a meal. As a shinobi he spent most of his time destroying rather than creating, and it'd been almost relaxing to prepare the food while the teacher sat at his dining table and graded. It'd seemed natural, even. But then, it'd also seemed natural to touch him, so much so that he'd done it without even realizing it. Kakashi's thoughts wandered back to the image of the teacher's face framed by still-damp chestnut hair, and lingered on the way the man's lips had parted as he'd said the Jounin's name, the slight wariness and almost undetectable desire in his chocolate eyes. Kakashi felt the tug of temptation again and forced his thoughts away from the memory.

It was a mission. He had to remember that – needed to remember that. Iruka was a mission, just like the mission he was on now, and like in this mission, he had to treat Iruka calmly and professionally. That meant doing no more than was necessary for the sake of the mission, and not getting any more involved than absolutely required. And if that argument wasn't quite enough to convince himself, Kakashi ignored it – because he knew that he had other arguments that he could make, even if he didn't want to face the fact that a good half of why he was miles away from the village now was because the teacher had made it closer to him than anyone had in years. The Jounin couldn't even remember the last time he'd thought about kissing someone, much less had almost done it, and that scared him in a way that he still wasn't ready to face.

He remembered the Chuunin's softly voiced invitation to dinner that night, and wondered what would have happened if he'd accepted rather than going to Tsunade begging for a mission. He wondered if it was meant as a sign that despite Kakashi's attraction, the two could still be friends, or if Iruka had somehow misinterpreted his actions and had thought Kakashi'd meant something entirely different by them. The small part of his mind that he'd been steadfastly ignoring even whispered that perhaps the teacher had realized exactly what Kakashi had intended, and the dinner invitation hadn't been a way for them to move past it or avoid it, but rather an invitation to continue. The Jounin leaned back against the tree until he could see the stars.

He wondered if Iruka had heard about his mission somehow, or if the Chuunin had prepared the eggplant and miso soup for two, then had sat in his apartment, waiting, just in case the Jounin decided to show. Somehow it seemed like something the teacher would do – something quiet and unobtrusive. Kakashi knew that if he'd accepted the invitation the Chuunin would've dragged him out of his apartment to go eat, but he'd seen the slight flash of uncertainty in the teacher's dark brown eyes when he'd given a noncommittal answer. No, Iruka wouldn't have shown up at his apartment with food tonight, but he was fairly certain that the teacher had an extra serving of eggplant and miso in his refrigerator, waiting to be taken to school tomorrow. And he was also fairly certain that when he returned, Iruka would say nothing about it or the fact that he'd waited for the Jounin.

Kakashi sighed and pulled himself up from his seat, then bit his thumb and quickly went through the necessary seals for the summoning jutsu. He pressed his palm firmly against the ground, then nodded at the dogs that had appeared in a cloud of smoke. They took in their surroundings silently, then the largest settled down to the north to take the first watch, with the rest arranging themselves around Kakashi and the clearing, automatically taking the positions that would give them the best view of the area. It was a ritual that they'd gone through many times. Pakkun held back for a moment, and Kakashi looked down at the small pug. The dog hesitated for a moment before speaking.

"Is everything okay, Boss?" he asked, and Kakashi sighed, then nodded.

"Yeah. It's a normal mission. Not even an S-rank. Just wanted to catch some sleep," he said. Pakkun paused for a moment, then nodded slowly, accepting the explanation. He fell into position without another word, and Kakashi pillowed his head on his arm and drew in the familiar scents of his dogs and the forest, letting them coax him into sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.

Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.

* * *

Kakashi woke at the first sign of dawn, slipping seamlessly from sleep to wakefulness in the space of a breath. He kept his eyes closed and his breathing even and steady as he reached out with his chakra, automatically seeking for signs of an enemy. When all he found was the familiar feeling of his ninken he let his eye open, and moments later was on his feet, stretching to loosen the kinks in his back. He felt a flash of amusement at the stiffness and what it said about how soft he'd become. He was better than usual when coming off of an injury, but he knew that said less about him and more about the ample amount of time he'd been given to recover.

Kakashi pulled his pack on then went around the clearing, stopping at each trap to dismantle it. He coiled the chakra wire into neat bundles and tucked it away in his jacket along with the explosive tags. Conservation of supplies was a habit that all good shinobi cultivated early on, knowing all too well that one explosive tag or kunai could be the difference between life and death. After finishing with the traps, he nodded curtly at his dogs. All of them but Pakkun disappeared silently, and the pug looked up at him with an expression that the Jounin couldn't decipher.

"What's going on here, Kakashi?" the dog asked. The Jounin shrugged.

"A-rank mission. Scroll retrieval. We should be close enough to pick up the scent," Kakashi replied.

"I'm not asking about that," the pug said.

"There's nothing else to be asking about," Kakashi said. The pug looked at him for a moment, then snorted in disbelief. The Jounin glared at the ninken, who returned the stare, unrepentant. Kakashi was the first to look away, and he heard the dog snuffle in amusement.

"There's nothing," Kakashi repeated.

"Sure, boss. I believe you," Pakkun replied, and the Jounin cast him one last glare before pulling the mission scroll out of his jacket. He unrolled it quickly, eye scanning the details he'd already memorized, then carefully pulled out the small scrap of paper and set it down before the pug. For a moment he thought the dog would push things further, then Pakkun bent to sniff at the parchment. As soon as he caught the scent he stepped back, and Kakashi picked up the paper, pulling his mask down long enough to inhale the mix of dust, ink, and old paper. He tucked the scrap of paper back into the scroll and secured it in his jacket.

"They shouldn't be more than an hour away," Kakashi said, and the pug nodded. They took to the trees silently, and soon the only sign of their presence in the clearing was bent blades of grass and the faint, pervasive scent of dog.

***

"We're getting close, boss," Pakkun said gruffly, glancing back over his shoulder. Kakashi nodded his acknowledgement and followed the pug as he veered from the trail the mission report had outlined, heading more east than they'd expected the hideout to be. It was impressive enough that the scouts had managed to get him this close, and he mentally thanked Pakkun's sense of smell for making the mission that much easier. The last thing he needed when feeling this jittery was to spend days hunting down an invisible enemy. Even now, the need for action was making him nervous. When Pakkun came to a stop a few feet ahead of him, Kakashi automatically pulled out a handful of shuriken and crouched beside the pug.

Pakkun glanced up at the Jounin, taking in the shuriken, and arched a brow upwards. Kakashi scanned the area before snorting softly and putting the shuriken away, but his gloved hand stayed near the pouch, ready to withdraw them again at any sign of attack. A flicker of worry showed in the pug's eyes, but it was gone before the Copy Nin could do more than register it. When the ninken spoke, his voice was gruff.

"I can smell the scroll, and three humans up ahead. From the scent of weapon oil and metal, they're probably shinobi," he said. Kakashi squinted through the forest in the direction Pakkun was facing.

"How far?" Kakashi asked, and the ninken shrugged.

"Maybe a mile or two to the east," he replied. Kakashi nodded his thanks. For a moment Pakkun looked as if he wanted to say something more, and the Jounin's single gray eye fixed on him. The pug hesitated, then sighed.

"Be careful, boss," he said. Kakashi stared at him, trying to think of a response, then fell into the crinkly-eyed smile he always used.

"Maa, I'm always careful," he said. The ninken looked disbelieving, and the Jounin patted him on his head before taking off into the forest. He heard a sigh, then the soft poof of smoke as the ninken dematerialized behind him. It made Kakashi wonder exactly how bad he looked, that the Hokage and even his own dogs would be concerned over his safety. If there was one thing that Hatake Kakashi was capable of, it was taking care of himself. He'd proven that many times in the past.

The Jounin pushed the thoughts away in favour of focusing on the mission, speeding up from the almost leisurely pace he'd used with Pakkun. Minutes later he was crouched on a branch staring down at a group of three shinobi, carefully cloaking his chakra and blending into the surroundings with ANBU stealth. His gray eye silently tracked the movement of one of the shinobi as he rose from the loose circle surrounding what appeared to be the scroll. Kakashi watched as the guard– a Chuunin, he assumed, from the man's gear – stumbled off into the forest. As the man passed beneath the tree Kakashi was perched in, he caught a whiff of cheap sake.

He turned his attention back to the other two shinobi, noticing their blunted movements and the way the darker haired man rubbed at the bridge of his nose. The Jounin's eye narrowed, and if he hadn't been focusing on stealth, he would've shook his head. It seemed ridiculous – given a job as simple as guarding a scroll, and they chose to get drunk instead? He heard the sound of retching behind him and tried to filter out the scent of sour vomit and rice wine. One of the shinobi still guarding the scroll groaned and slumped to the ground, leaving only the black haired man swaying on his feet.

The Jounin's single gray eye narrowed in suspicion. It seemed too simple, all of a sudden – too easy. They might have been further east than expected, but otherwise it'd added up too neatly, too closely to the mission parameters. And now this – his enemies, already weakened, falling to the ground without any outside interference. It was all entirely too convenient. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had an A-rank mission go so smoothly, and that made the nervous tension already coiling in his stomach spike. He clamped down on the reaction before the burst of chakra could be felt, and waited breathlessly for a full minute, watching the only remaining guard.

It was a trap. That was the only explanation that the Jounin could think of, the only thing that made sense. It wouldn't be the first time that his enemy had been lying in wait, and it made sense in an instance like this. They'd obviously know that they were being followed, and none but rank amateurs would get drunk while standing guard. The Jounin frowned beneath his mask, reanalyzing the situation, and came to one obvious conclusion. The easiest way to deal with the trap would be to spring it.

At least then, he'd be certain of when the attack was coming, if not where from. It was a slight advantage, but likely the best that he'd gain in his position. Decision made, he dropped silently from the trees, landing behind the only guard still standing. Before the man could cry out in alarm, Kakashi's hand had wrapped around his throat, and he swiftly hit the pressure points necessary to knock the man out. The Jounin then lowered the unconscious body to the ground and moved over to the man that had apparently passed out, repeating the manipulation of pressure points on him to make sure that attack wouldn't come from that direction. Even through his mask, he smelled the heavy reek of sake on the man, and the slightly acrid sting of urine soaking the shinobi's pants. Kakashi waited there for a minute, crouched, eye scanning the area, hand on his kunai.

Nothing happened. Another minute passed, and all Kakashi's enhanced hearing could catch was the sound of the third guard puking and blubbering in the bushes. Disbelief ran through his body in a quick, ice-cold wave of shock, and he ripped the hitai-ate away from his eye to stare at the scroll in the middle of the camp. If the trap didn't lie with the shinobi, it had to be with the scroll itself – some intricate trap or seal designed to kill anyone who touched it. Kakashi stared at the scroll with his Sharingan for another long minute, then growled low in his throat and snatched it up.

It smelled right – identical to the scrap of paper that had been provided as a tracking point. Ignoring the guards collapsed on the ground, Kakashi unrolled the scroll and stared at the crabbed, faded writing, trying to decipher the words. When he came to a diagram that exactly matched the description in the mission parameters, he rolled the scroll shut and stashed it carefully away in his jacket before heading back into the trees. His frustration only added to his speed, and he set out to Konoha at a dead run, set on confronting one overly arrogant Sannin.

***

Tsunade's office was crowded with dignitaries, but where normally Kakashi would have waited outside or melded into the shadows until she acknowledged him, this time he barged in, not bothering to hide the irritated snaps and flickers of his chakra. The noble who had been staring down his nose at the Hokage as he whimpered and complained suddenly changed his mind about the importance of hearing his own voice, instead looking like he'd rather swallow his own tongue than speak up in front of the enraged Jounin. The response of the rest of the room was generally similar, except for the Hokage herself, who withstood the Jounin's glare and matched it with one of her own.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but it looks like we'll have to continue this another day," the Sannin said smoothly. An older man stepped forward and nodded at her quickly, then steered the overweight diplomat out the door, muttering in a low voice. Kakashi's ears caught words about the insanity of Jounin and how it'd be best not to interfere, and he had to fight the temptation to demonstrate exactly how true that was. The men left, but Kakashi kept his eye fixed on the Hokage, not bothering to turn to watch their departure. Tsunade raised one hand and gestured for the door, and the Jounin heard a slight intake of breath from the ANBU that would've been protest, then the rustle of cloth as they exited the office. The last one to leave quietly shut the door behind him, and when he heard the lock click, Kakashi calmly pulled the scroll out of his jacket.

He strolled over to stand in front of the Hokage, then slouched on her desk, offering the scroll with one pale hand. She reached out to take it, but he didn't release it, instead holding onto it tightly and staring directly into her eyes, letting her feel the full weight of his chakra. He let the nervous anger increase until he saw her flinch, then let go of the scroll, snarling beneath his mask. The fear in her eyes was quickly hidden, but seeing that millisecond of acknowledgement of his strength was enough. He pressed the advantage, leaning over to crowd her, nose only millimeters from her face. He could smell the fear even if she could conceal it on her face, and something about that was alluring and satisfying to a dark part of his psyche that he didn't want to acknowledge.

"I. Want. Another. Mission," Kakashi growled. The Hokage tensed, then the acrid scent of her fear fled, replaced by anger. She placed both hands on the desk and shoved backwards, pushing her chair away and quickly standing to assume a dominant position, glaring down at the Jounin. He didn't give her the satisfaction of moving, instead keeping his casual slouch.

"You just had a mission," the Sannin said, and her voice was full of the same threat that her glare had. Kakashi refused to allow it to affect him, staring at her coldly.

"Do you honestly think I'm that much of a rookie?" he asked, and unlike her own voice, his held nothing but a touch of curiosity that was completely at odds with the chakra boiling and seething in the room.

"Of course not," Tsunade barked, and Kakashi slowly rose to his feet, for once not slouching, his full height making it so that he was the one looking down at the Sannin.

"Then why the fuck did you give me a B-rank mission and pretend it was an A-rank? Did you think I wouldn't find out?" he growled. There was a second of guilt in her golden eyes, and it was all that he needed.

"I want another mission," he stated. The Sannin stared back at him, then her shoulders slumped and she sighed.

"How did you figure out it was a B-rank?" she asked. For a moment Kakashi considered not answering, but something about her tone made him speak.

"It was fairly obvious when I came across the scroll and it was being guarded by three Chuunin. It became even more obvious when I realized the Chuunin were all drunk, and that the mission parameters allowed a week for something that shouldn't take more than two days for a Jounin," he said.

Tsunade sighed, then leaned down to tug one of the drawers in her desk open. Kakashi tensed at the movement, then relaxed slightly when he saw a bottle of sake and two cups. She filled them both with the sake, then downed one in a quick, greedy gulp and pushed the other towards him. He stared at it for a moment, then picked it up and mimicked her gesture, downing the sake through his mask. She poured another cup, then another, and by the time half the bottle was gone, Kakashi's chakra had receded to almost normal, though there were still occasional flares. Tsunade sighed and stared at the bottle.

"The only reason I gave you a mission was because you looked like you'd go crazy without one," she said. The Jounin tensed at the words, then sighed and grabbed the bottle, refilling both of their cups.

"You could've at least given me a real A-rank instead of lying about it," he told her seriously. She nodded, then stared down into her cup.

"You haven't seen yourself lately, Kakashi. You haven't seen just how- how bad it's been getting. How close you are to the edge. Then you seemed to be getting better, to be getting more human, to be the closest to happy I've seen you since Sasuke left, or even since Yondaime died. Then you came in here like that, and the only thing I could think of to do was to let you back out on the field," she said.

"I'm fine," he told her, and tried to sound like he believed it, but even to himself, the words sounded hollow. He saw it reflected in her eyes, and looked away from them, instead focusing on the sake. He drained his cup again, more for the sting of the alcohol than anything, and sighed.

"I still want another mission," he told her. She nodded.

"I'm not giving you one without a full psych eval," she replied. Kakashi nodded as well. It was nothing less than he'd expected, after calming down enough to realize how close he'd come to truly threatening the Hokage.

"And anyway, you still have a mission," she said. The Jounin glanced up at that and arched a single silver brow. Tsunade's lips twitched up into something that would've resembled a smile, if not for the exhaustion in her eyes.

"Iruka," she simply said. Kakashi's fingers went nerveless and he dropped the sake cup he'd been holding. The porcelain clattered across the desk, and he managed to catch it before it fell to the floor. He stared at the Sannin.

"Find somebody else. Anybody else," he whispered, and he knew that the fear in his voice was more obvious than what he'd seen before in the Hokage's eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Tsunade sighed, then looked at him seriously.

"Mission or not, Kakashi, this is the closest to human you've been in years. Don't throw that away," she said, and he could hear the faint self-recriminatory bitterness in her voice.

"How can you tell me to get close to someone because you don't trust them, then tell me to trust them in the next breath?" he asked.

"It's part of being Hokage. I want to trust him, Kakashi. And I don't believe that he's done anything wrong. But at the same time, I have to protect my village. You should understand that better than anyone else," she said. The Jounin nodded curtly, then pulled himself to his feet, struggling not to sway from the mixture of sake and exhaustion. Tsunade watched him with worried eyes, then sighed.

"Go home, Hatake. And don't forget to turn in your mission report tomorrow," she told him. The Jounin nodded, then slipped out of the office, not the least bit surprised to find the sky dark. He stumbled home and undid the wards automatically, sinking gratefully down into the bed without bothering to even take off his sandals. His last thought as he drifted off to sleep was how much better the mattress felt than the forest floor.

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(A/N): There is (or should be, at least) a poll up on my profile about whether or not this story should include graphic sexual content. Originally I planned to have R-rated chapters up here on fanfic and NC-17 available in a locked LJ community, but I wanted to see what peoples opinions were on the topic. If the poll isn't up, please weigh in in your review or in private messages. Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Yes, it's actually an update. No, you're not seeing things. I'm sorry this one took so long, guys, but I'm optimistic that this fic will be finished. Please drop a line and let me know what you think!

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The sun was shining in his eyes. Kakashi groaned and rolled over, bringing his arm up to cover his face, then cringed as the contact made the throbbing behind his eyes explode into full on pain. He took a breath that was meant to be steadying and tried to fight back the nausea building in his throat long enough to sit up, only to be rewarded by the reluctant screech of muscles that had been overused after long – for him – inactivity. The Jounin winced as he swung his legs down off the bed, and concentrated for a full minute on just breathing.

When he was finally certain he wouldn't streak his sandals – which his blearily opened eye informed him he was still wearing – with vomit, he tugged himself to his feet and half-stumbled, half-limped into the bathroom. A quick twist of the faucet started the water in the bath tub running, and he tried to ignore the fact that the sound of the water hitting the porcelain was as loud as the rush of a waterfall. He leaned down and stuck his head under the stream until his head cleared, then pulled back, gasping for breath, cold water trickling down from his hair to cover his still-masked face. He slumped down against the wall and tried to sort through the conflicting memories from the night before.

He remembered sake. Lots and lots of sake. And he remembered Tsunade, glaring, yelling, fear-tinged eyes and-

Oh fuck. He'd threatened the Hokage. The Jounin groaned and buried his head in his hands, ignoring the sparks of pain the movement sent ricocheting through his skull. So much for getting back in the field. He'd be lucky if he managed to stay out of Ibiki's chair. Kakashi ran his fingers through his damp hair, pushing it back from his face, then twisted the water to warm and turned the shower on. He managed to strip out of his gear before half-falling into the shower. He spent a good half hour simply collapsed against the shower wall, letting the warm water run over his body and loosen the over-used muscles.

After four glasses of water and twice the recommended dosage of pain killers, Kakashi was feeling human enough to pull on a fresh uniform – noting that he needed to do laundry, by the near-empty state of his closet – and head out the door. He stopped at the first restaurant he passed for breakfast, then headed to the market and bought enough food to restock everything he'd thrown away when anticipating a long mission. He juggled the bags at the door long enough to get the wards open, then nudged the door closed behind him with his hip and started unloading the groceries.

Everything was healthy and raw, with nothing resembling a ration bar. All of it would take cooking, and as he stashed the leeks in the fridge, he knew that it was the first step to accepting his situation. After the stunt he'd pulled the day before, there was no way Tsunade was going to let him back out on the field. Hell, he wouldn't let himself out of the village in his state of mind. It would take time and hard work to convince Tsunade that he was stable enough to be trusted on missions.

***

Kakashi arrived at the mission office an hour before closing. For once, his report wasn't covered in blood and dirt and shoved into his jacket along with a spare kunai and a tangled piece of chakra wire. It wasn't crumpled or covered in kanji that only approximated real writing. Instead, the writing was even, neat, and carefully spaced, written in dark black ink that facilitated easy reading. It was thorough without being overboard, and every detail that could potentially be of use as future intelligence had been included. It was quite possibly the neatest mission report Kakashi had ever written in his adult life, ever since Obito had died and he'd started shirking the rules.

When he handed it to Umino Iruka, the man looked surprised for all of a second, then schooled his expression into its normal professional lines, looking over the report. Kakashi saw the slight dilation of his pupils when the teacher read the issue date for the mission, and a tension in Iruka's shoulders that the Jounin hadn't even noticed uncoiled. When the brown-haired man looked up at him, it was with a genuine smile.

"Thank you for your hard work, Kakashi-san," he said. Kakashi nodded, then leaned back against the corner of the desk, opening his book. He caught a glimpse of Iruka's confused expression out of the corner of his eye, but didn't say anything, keeping his attention focused on the words. A few minutes later, another shinobi stepped up to the desk, and business generally went as normal. Shinobi were good at adjusting to things. Konoha was accustomed to Jounin, especially ones named Hatake Kakashi, being odd.

An hour passed, during which Iruka became steadily more nervous, until the final report of the day was given no more than a glance before being approved. As soon as the shinobi left, Kakashi slid down off of the desk, turned to the teacher, and smiled.

"Is that dinner invitation still open, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka glanced up at him, startled, then a slow smile spread over his face. "Of course."

***

The walk back to Iruka's apartment was short, and Kakashi read during it, nominally focusing his attention on the pages. It was better than the silence stretching out between them, and Kakashi noticed as they walked that the Chuunin snuck an occasional glance out the corner of his eye at him. "How was the mission?" Iruka finally asked.

Kakashi glanced over at him, then shrugged. "Same as usual. B-rank." He said it dismissively, easily keeping the irritation he still felt over that out of his voice, and Iruka nodded. When they came to Iruka's door, Kakashi politely looked away as the traps were disarmed. He tucked his book away, idly repeating the page number in his mind for future reference, then followed the Chuunin inside. Iruka nodded at a wooden stool by the bar, and Kakashi cast him a surprised glance before settling down. He'd expected to be handed a knife again and set to prep work.

Iruka shrugged his canvas satchel off, setting it on the bar. Kakashi looked up at the teacher and raised his visible brow when Iruka set a neatly-stacked pile of copy-books in front of him, along with a red pen. Well, there went his hopes that spending a few days out on a mission was enough for Iruka to give him a break. "What am I supposed to do with these?"

A smile tugged at the corners of Iruka's mouth. "I assume you remember the basics of chakra manipulation?" He didn't bother to wait for Kakashi's answer, pulling the refrigerator door open and coming out with an armful of vegetables. Kakashi wasn't in the least surprised to see eggplant among them. "I cook, you grade."

"Maa, Sensei, do you treat all of your guests this way?" Kakashi drawled, but he opened the first book all the same, glancing down at the paper. The handwriting was almost as bad as his own, but the concepts were basic enough. A little too basic, maybe. The kid's hold on how seals channeled energy seemed a bit weak even for a pre-Genin. Despite himself, Kakashi picked up the pen and started to write out an explanation- only to be stopped by a glare from Iruka.

"Only the multiple choice. I'll go over the essay questions myself. And if you need a key to be able to answer such basic questions, you really will be sitting in my classroom for remedial lessons."

Kakashi glanced up, snorted, and lifted the pen from the paper. "Yes, _Sensei._"

Iruka's cheeks colored slightly, but he made no move to withdraw the threat. "To answer your question, yes, I do. But then, you and Naruto are the only guests I've had recently, so there's that." He turned his back on Kakashi before the Jounin could answer, turning the sink on to scrub the vegetables clean. Kakashi watched him, noticing the slight tension in his shoulders, and waited until the Chuunin had pulled the cutting board out.

"Why so few visitors?" he casually asked. Iruka paused for a millisecond, but it was enough for Kakashi to notice. He wondered if it was because of embarrassment and discomfort with the situation, or if Iruka's reaction was because Kakashi was edging too close. The Chuunin bent his head, focusing on slicing the eggplant, and wisps of hair that had worked loose from his ponytail obscured his face.

"You don't have many visitors yourself," Iruka hedged. Kakashi made a quiet sound in reply, and nominally focused his attention on the grading, pen scratching against paper.

"That's because I prefer it that way," Kakashi eventually answered. "But the question is, why do you? It makes sense for a Jounin, but you're a desk-ninja."

Kakashi glanced up just in time to see Iruka tense further. For a moment Kakashi wondered if he'd pushed too far, then he caught a glimpse of dark brown eyes as Iruka glanced over at him. The look was tentative and at the same time gauging, as if Iruka was deciding if he could be trusted or not. "Do you remember what happened the night Naruto became a Genin?"

"One of the Chuunin working for Orochimaru manipulated him into stealing the forbidden scroll," Kakashi answered. He kept his voice calm and still. Iruka nodded, short and jerky, in response. He didn't reply for a minute, focusing on starting the soup and scooping neatly-sliced vegetables over into the pot. When he finally did speak, his voice was quiet, and he didn't look at Kakashi.

"Mizuki. He was the Chuunin who told Naruto to steal the scroll," Iruka said. Despite knowing that Iruka wouldn't see it, Kakashi nodded. Iruka didn't glance over at him, busying his hands with cleaning up. Minutes ticked past. "He was my best friend. In the Academy, and later on, too. We became teachers at close to the same time, and taught together for years. I spent almost every day with him, and until that night, I never knew. I found out later that he'd killed a teammate on a mission, before Orochimaru got to him. So it wasn't just his influence. Mizuki was like that on his own. But I didn't see it."

Kakashi stared at the man, taking in the slight hunch to his shoulders and the vulnerability in his voice. For a moment, he was tempted to do something about it. Get on his feet, close the distance between them. Rest a hand on Iruka's back, over the scar just between his shoulder blades from that night. Offer some kind of comfort. He resisted the urge, and when he spoke, his voice was gruff. "You weren't the only one who didn't see it."

Iruka glanced up at him, a wry smile tugging at his lips. Kakashi almost looked away from the vulnerability in those dark eyes, but something stopped him. "There were suspicions, though. Sandaime-sama told me, after. And I didn't even have that. I trusted him." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, then glanced down. "He was the person I was closest to. After that, it was hard to trust my own judgment," he said quietly.

Kakashi wanted to believe those words, but something nagged in the back of his mind. Iruka was admitting that his best friend had been a traitor, and he hadn't known. It'd make sense under those circumstances for him to close himself off, but one look around the apartment was reminder enough of why he was here in the first place. The traps were elegant, masterful, and far beyond what a Chuunin should've been able to accomplish. It'd make just as much sense for Orochimaru to have gotten to more than one person.

But then, why defend Naruto with his own body? Why chase after Mizuki, instead of allowing him to capture the scroll? Why be the one to go after him again, later, when he escaped? It'd have been easy at any of those points for Iruka to simply let Mizuki go, but Kakashi had read enough of the reports to know how desperately he'd chased after him. A small voice mentioned that Iruka had been the one writing the reports, and Kakashi considered that for a moment, but it just didn't fit. The details didn't add up.

"Iruka-sensei," Kakashi said slowly. The teacher glanced up, looking at him with wary eyes. Kakashi hesitated, trying to find some words of comfort that wouldn't come off as trite or dismissive. "It's not your fault," he said, and regretted it immediately. The words rang hollow to even his own ears, and Kakashi wondered who he was to try absolving someone else of guilt when he couldn't even handle his own. To his surprise, though, Iruka just nodded.

"I know that it isn't. But it doesn't make it any easier to trust," he said simply. Kakashi just stared, trying to find words, but before they came to his lips Iruka had already turned away. "Dinner should be ready soon. How's the grading?"

Kakashi let out a slow breath, grateful for the change in topic. It felt too intimate to talk about something like that, and a question hovered just beneath the surface. Why him? If Iruka had so much difficulty with trusting, why not only allow Kakashi into his life, but deliberately pursue him? He edged away from those thoughts, instead glancing down at the copy book. Only a few of the questions were actually marked, and there was a puddle of red ink on the paper from where he'd left the pen resting.

"Maa, Sensei, I think this is more your strength than mine," he replied, deliberately drawling the title in an attempt to lessen the tension.

Iruka seemed to relax slightly at the teasing, and cast an amused glance over at Kakashi, though there was still that hint of raw uncertainty just beneath the surface. Too expressive, Kakashi thought, not for the first time. Too much was given away in the set of Iruka's jaw, the tight line of his lips, and the lingering discomfort in his eyes. Either Iruka was one of the best he'd ever seen at concealing his thoughts, or he was too open to have become a ninja in the first place.

"Should I take that to mean you'd prefer to be the one doing the cooking from now on?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi shrugged, the movement deliberately casual, and didn't refute Iruka's assumption that their shared meals would continue. Part of him wanted to- the part that had kept him from making an attempt to comfort Iruka, the part that even now was focused on the mission, weighing every action against the possibility of Iruka being a traitor- but there was another part of Kakashi, one that he didn't want to listen to, that whispered he'd miss this. He pushed the thought aside, slipping back into the banter that by now was easy and familiar. "It's better than paperwork."

Iruka snorted in reply, but a smile tugged at his lips. "You know, that report proved that you're actually capable of turning them in on time and neatly. Before now, I had my doubts."

"Believe it or not, I _did_ attend the Academy, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi chided, but his tone was mild.

"I couldn't tell," Iruka replied dryly. "But now that I know you're capable of it, I won't be accepting any mission reports below that standard."

Kakashi winced. He should've predicted that, really, but he'd been more focused on showing Tsunade that he didn't need his head probed to make certain it was still stuck on straight than on the possible consequences of his actions. "Maa, Sensei, you haven't had problems taking them before," he tried.

Iruka sniffed, turning his attention back to the soup. He ladled out bowls for both of them, glanced at the copy books, and raised a brow. Kakashi obligingly pushed them out of the way, and Iruka set both bowls down before claiming a seat beside the Jounin. He pulled the book over and glanced at Kakashi's notes before answering. "I can promise you that it takes me twice as long to make sense of your normal mission reports than it does for you to actually write a decent one."

"Is that why you're always so temperamental, Sensei?" Kakashi teased, leaning back slightly to look at the teacher. His lips quirked up into a grin underneath his mask, movement barely visible beneath the thin blue cloth. Iruka eyed him for a moment, then pushed a spoon in his direction and deliberately turned to face the wall.

"Between thirty pre-Genin and a village full of Jounin and Chuunin that seem to think they're still pre-Genin, anyone would develop a temper," Iruka said, and though Kakashi couldn't see his face, he could hear the amusement in Iruka's voice. "It's necessary to keep all of you in line."

Kakashi took a bite of his soup. It was a touch saltier than he usually made it, but it was good, and he could actually enjoy it. If Iruka was planning to surprise him to get underneath his mask, he'd have already made an attempt. "Surely we're not that bad, Iruka-sensei."

"You're right. You're worse," Iruka said. Kakashi chuckled in reply, not bothering to refute the statement, and focused on finishing his soup. When it was done, he tugged his mask back into place and plucked the pen from Iruka's fingers. When the Chuunin looked at him, surprised, Kakashi shrugged.

"You did make me dinner. And if these are all due back tomorrow, maybe if I help you'll actually have time to sleep," Kakashi said.

Looking amused, Iruka slid the copybook over. As Kakashi settled into grading, his stomach full of something other than ration bars and his fingers stained with ink instead of blood, he wondered why it all felt so natural.


End file.
